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Lewis HowesTrauma Expert: GENERATIONS of PAIN Lives In Your Body. Do THIS to Break Free! | Dr Mariel Buqué
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Heal trauma through nervous system regulation to break intergenerational cycles
- Dr. Mariel Buqué describes trauma as primarily housed in the nervous system and says healing should begin with body-based regulation rather than immediately retelling the trauma narrative.
- She explains that recounting trauma details can re-trigger fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, which can lead people to avoid their story or drop out of therapy unless safety and grounding are established first.
- She outlines practical restoration approaches—body scans, relaxation practices like breathwork/meditation/yoga, and humming as an accessible tool she often uses with adults and children.
- She frames intergenerational trauma as existing at the intersection of biology (including epigenetic factors) and psychology, and discusses how cues like scents can carry protective “danger” messaging across generations.
- She discusses relational and parenting impacts, including how children absorb caregiver conflict and nonverbal cues, how this can set up codependency patterns, and how repair, modeling, and age-appropriate family practices can support cycle breaking.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasStart trauma healing with the nervous system, not the story.
She emphasizes that trauma is “primarily situated” in the nervous system, so settling and grounding the body is the best starting point before doing deeper narrative work about what happened.
Telling your trauma story too soon can re-trigger you.
She explains that recounting details can make the body “remember” and trigger fight/flight/freeze/fawn, which can lead to avoidance or dropping out of therapy; body-based safety makes telling the story more tolerable.
Your body’s reactions while remembering are a readable trauma signal.
She describes using a body scan—checking tension head-to-toe—and noticing what happens in the body as you remember difficult events (tight chest/throat, sweating, stomach knots) as a practical way to identify nervous system activation.
Regulation and release are central—unreleased stress can become physical and generational.
She frames relaxation practices (breathwork, meditation, tai chi, yoga) as step two to release tension, and warns that unaddressed emotional pain can “live in the body,” potentially contributing to chronic illness and transmitting to the next generation.
Healing is gradual and imperfect, but it can make triggers manageable.
She says healing isn’t perfection, but it can produce more ease and subtler, tolerable triggers; she also notes the grounding/restoration phase can take months and will feel heavy at times, but is survivable with tools.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesWhenever we're talking about trauma, it's gonna be critical for us to first start with the body.
— Dr. Mariel Buqué
Very often people actually feel traumatized or re-traumatized or triggered by their own stories and their own trauma narrative.
— Dr. Mariel Buqué
It continues to live in the body. It can metabolize in the body then as chronic illness when it goes on unaddressed.
— Dr. Mariel Buqué
You have 1,440 minutes in the day. If you take five of those minutes and do a breathwork practice, you're already ahead of the game.
— Dr. Mariel Buqué
Every single day presents us with an opportunity to break a cycle. All you have to do is take it.
— Dr. Mariel Buqué
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SPEAKERS
Dr. Mariel Buqué
guestLicensed trauma psychologist and Columbia University professor specializing in intergenerational trauma and healing.
Lewis Howes
hostPodcast host and interviewer known for The School of Greatness.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
