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Kelsi Sheren: War, Artillery, PTSD, and Love | Lex Fridman Podcast #230

Kelsi Sheren is a veteran, artillery gunner, and founder of Brass and Unity. Note from Lex: I'm aware that Jocko temporarily took down his conversation with Kelsi to remove the names of some of the people involved in order to protect their and their family's privacy. I did the same. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors: - Shopify: https://shopify.com/lex to get 14-day free trial - Justworks: https://justworks.com - Novo: https://banknovo.com/lex - Indeed: https://indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit - Onnit: https://lexfridman.com/onnit to get up to 10% off EPISODE LINKS: Kelsi's Twitter: https://twitter.com/kelsiburns Kelsi's Website: https://brassandunity.com Kelsi's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelsie_sheren Charity: https://www.heroicheartsproject.org/ Do the F*cking Work (book): https://amzn.to/3mGhguF Notes from Underground (book): https://amzn.to/3mN5TRF Brothers in Arms (song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhdFe3evXpk PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8 RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/ Full episodes playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAXtmErZgOdP_8GztsuKi9nrraNbKKp4 Clips playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAXtmErZgOeciFP3CBCIEElOJeitOr41 OUTLINE: 0:00 - Introduction 0:45 - World War II 11:48 - Yeonmi Park, starvation, and mental health 26:04 - Kelsi's 9/11 experience 29:34 - Becoming a soldier 36:01 - Artillery: The Hand of God 45:44 - Weapons training 1:03:29 - Pre-Deployment 1:19:36 - Arrival to Afghanistan 1:41:49 - Tragic war story 2:06:54 - Feelings after tragedy 2:10:36 - The Taliban 2:16:12 - Retrospective: 20 years in Afghanistan 2:32:51 - How war changes people 2:38:13 - PTSD 3:07:07 - Ayahuasca and mental recovery 3:39:04 - Love 3:57:07 - Advice for young people 4:00:27 - Death SOCIAL: - Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman - Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman - Reddit: https://reddit.com/r/lexfridman - Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman

Lex FridmanhostKelsi SherenguestGuest (very brief interjection)guest
Oct 13, 20214h 6mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Afghanistan Gunner Confronts War’s Trauma, Healing, and Hard Questions

  1. Lex Fridman speaks with Canadian veteran and former artillery gunner Kelsi Sheren about her deployment to Afghanistan at 19, the brutality of modern war, and the lasting impact of severe PTSD. They explore historical evil in World War II, the psychology of following dictators, and contemporary atrocities in places like North Korea and under the Taliban. Kelsi gives detailed, visceral accounts of artillery operations, IED attacks, the death of a fellow soldier, and how those experiences shattered her sense of humanity. She then describes her long road through medication, depression, psychedelics, and building her company Brass & Unity to support veterans as a way to reclaim purpose, love, and mental health.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Sharing family war stories strengthens identity and resilience.

Kelsi and Lex argue that when older generations withhold their World War II and survival stories to protect descendants from pain, they also deprive them of vital lessons and a sense of strength rooted in their lineage.

Ordinary people can be drawn into evil through fear, grievance, and charisma.

Their discussion of Hitler and Stalin emphasizes that large-scale atrocities emerge not just from singular monsters, but from social conditions—economic anger, propaganda, group belonging—that make following dangerous leaders feel rational and even noble.

Modern conflicts blur the line between combatant and civilian, intensifying moral injury.

Kelsi describes the Taliban’s use of IEDs, suicide bombers, women, children, and civilian spaces to mask attacks, making everyone in the environment feel like a potential enemy and leaving soldiers with profound guilt and confusion afterward.

PTSD is compounded when institutions medicate, isolate, and silence rather than prepare and support.

She says pre-deployment mental training was minimal, culturally specific stressors weren’t explained, and her post-trauma experience was dominated by heavy medication, procedural interviews, and poor communication—conditions that worsened depression and suicidal thoughts.

Psychedelics can catalyze healing, but only with structure and integration.

Through Heroic Hearts’ ayahuasca retreat, Kelsi experienced powerful symbolic visions that reframed her identity and pain; she stresses that ongoing integration work, journaling, and peer support—not just the ceremonies—made it transformative rather than destabilizing.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

He was just going to clear the road for the rest of us, and in one second he was gone.

Kelsi Sheren

I lost all humanity. I lost all hope for humanity. The Taliban are evil, but I’ve had to fight to get my humanity back.

Kelsi Sheren

This isn’t it. This isn’t the end-all, be-all. Where you are right now in this life is a blip.

Kelsi Sheren (describing what ayahuasca ‘told’ her)

Older men declare war, but it is the youth that must fight and die.

Herbert Hoover (quoted by Lex Fridman at the end)

There are times for missiles and double taps to the face, but there needs to be more time to educate.

Kelsi Sheren

Intergenerational trauma, World War II history, and the nature of evilPsychology of dictators, mass followership, and groupthinkModern warfare in Afghanistan: artillery, IEDs, and civilian environmentsFirsthand experience of combat trauma, PTSD, depression, and suicidal ideationCritique of military mental health systems and veteran care in Canada and the U.S.Psychedelic-assisted healing (ayahuasca, psilocybin, cannabis) and integrationPurpose, love, entrepreneurship, and veteran-focused charity work (Brass & Unity, Heroic Hearts, others)

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