4 Attachment Styles You Need To Know To Create Healthy Relationships | The Mel Robbins Podcast

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

November 17, 2022

Duration

1h 12m

Channel

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — What if you could show up in any #relationship feeling secure, exactly as you are? You didn’t have to overthink every text you sent. You wouldn’t have to play the dating games. If somebody ghosted you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Well I’m here to tell you today that you CAN be that person. Meet the phenomenal Dr. Marissa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of “Platonic” and expert on #attachment theory. Today, we’re shining a light on your #attachmentstyle. What is an attachment style? Simple. It’s a framework backed by decades of research that will help you understand how you show up in relationships. There are 4 attachment styles, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you default to one of them. If you have a hard time setting #boundaries with family members… If you keep dating the same kind of people… If you cling to relationships that have long expired… Or if you’ve never been able to connect with someone on a deeply emotional level. Blame your attachment style. And here’s the good news: when you understand attachment theory, you can change your default attachment style and become more secure, which leads to happier and healthier relationships. You deserve that, which is why this episode is for you. Today, Dr. Franco breaks down the 4 attachment styles that make or break your relationships, AND the powerful tools you can use to improve them. Once you understand your attachment style, you’ll have a lens through which to improve absolutely every relationship, especially the one you have with yourself. Because at the deepest level, becoming more secure is about allowing love in. Xo Mel PS: One way to let more love in is to get in touch with your big dreams. Let me help you with a free journal guide: melrobbins.com/dreambig In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to improve any relationship
• The four attachment styles of relationships
• How to identify your default attachment style
• Real-life examples of how attachment styles show up
• How to be in a relationship with someone who has a different style
• Four powerful tools to develop secure and healthy relationships

In this episode: 00:00 Intro 04:06 Intro to Dr. Franco 05:04 Key Concept: Unpacking the 4 Attachment Styles 15:38 Is it easier to spot Attachment Style in yourself or in someone else? 26:58 Can you have more than one Attachment Style? 31:39 Why it's important to build a Secure Attachment 35:38 Key Concept: How to begin healing if you have never experienced healthy and Secure Attachment 52:29 Why knowing your attachment style is so important 55:37 Do certain Attachment Styles attract other Attachment Styles? 57:27 Are you triggered or are you in love? 1:02:30 Tools: How to build a Secure Attachment TODAY — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Mel Robbins

  host

• Dr. Marisa Franco

  guest

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Dr. Marisa Franco, 4 Attachment Styles You Need To Know To Create Healthy Relationships | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores understand Attachment Styles To Finally Build Safe, Fulfilling Relationships Mel Robbins and psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco unpack attachment theory and explain how four core attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—shape every relationship, from romance to friendship and work. They describe the beliefs, behaviors, and conflict patterns typical of each style, and why these patterns are rooted in early experiences and nervous-system responses, not in other people’s worth. A major focus is on how anxious and avoidant partners often end up together and reenact each other’s wounds, and how understanding this lens lets you stop personalizing others’ behavior. Dr. Franco offers practical strategies for moving toward secure attachment by reconnecting with your emotions, seeking secure people, and learning to actually receive love.

🔗 RELATED EPISODES

How to Eliminate Self-Doubt Forever & Build Unshakeable Confidence

The Reality of Adult Friendship: Here’s Why You’re Lonely & How to Make Real Friends as an Adult

Harvard Business School Professor: This One Research Study Will Change Your Life and Career

Eat THIS to Live Longer, Stay Young, and Transform Your Health

Surprising Signs of Anxiety and How to Heal It | The Mel Robbins Podcast

You’ll Never See Your Family the Same After This Episode