How to Move On, Let Go of Past Mistakes, and Reinvent Yourself

1. 0:00 – 5:31

   Meet the Guest

   1. CLCarl Lentz0:00

      You should be ashamed of yourself. So, you want me to take my eyes now and go back and look at the horrible things I've done so I can feel shame about them? That's what you want me to do? Now everybody loses. There's a better way. We say a prayer after every single session, which is, "As I lift my eyes from shame to grace." It's called healing. Regret is very different than remorse. Remorse is an engine. Turn that thing on and it'll change you. Your worst chapter is not your last chapter. The thing that's causing you the most pain today, what if I told you that's gonna turn around at some point and it's gonna give you the most power?

   2. MRMel Robbins0:39

      Oh, hold on. Say it a little louder for the person in the back, please. (time clock ticking) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm absolutely thrilled that you're here, and it is always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together. And if you're a new listener, I also wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Because you made time to listen to this particular episode, I know you're the kind of person who truly values real, deep conversations that make you think differently about yourself, about your life, and the conversation we're about to have today, oh my gosh, it is going to be incredible because we're gonna be talking about, what do you do after you truly, royally screw things up? Is forgiveness even possible? See, in our Boston studios today, I have the perfect person to help you and me think about forgiveness and how you rebuild after making so many mistakes, and the reason why he's the perfect person is because he's had to do this himself. I'm gonna introduce you to a very good friend of mine, and when you hear who this person is, it may even surprise you. Wait, Mel Robbins is good friends with this guy? I am. And by the time you're done listening to the conversation today, you'll understand why. It takes a lot of courage to be the kind of person who can admit to what you've done wrong and take accountability for making it right, to face yourself in the mirror, to go out in public or show up at school or work or with your friends or your family when you've done something really wrong or you've ruined your reputation or you hurt the people that you care about most, and that's exactly what my friend Carl Lentz has had to do after destroying the life he had built just five years ago. Now, I didn't know him back then. I only met him a few years ago, but let me tell you a little bit about who he was then. Carl was one of the most recognizable mega-church pastors in the world. He co-founded the church Hillsong in New York City, and then he built it from scratch to be almost 150,000 members strong. I mean, in 2017, 2018, 2019, Carl was a cultural icon. He was in the news all the time because he was disrupting what everybody thought a Christian church should be like. I mean, there he was up in front of the pews dressed in leather and skinny jeans and he's all tatted up and rock and roll music is blaring, and from the outside, boy did it look like he was on top of the world. I mean, he couldn't be more blessed. And then, in 2020, it all fell apart in a spectacular train wreck of his own making. He was publicly fired from the church he built, and according to the press release, it was due to, quote, "leadership issues and breaches of trust." It was all over the tabloids. This married mega-church pastor and father of three, beloved by so many, had been having an affair with someone in the church. He lost his job, his reputation, almost every single friend he had, his family lost their housing, and he lost the life he had built because of the choices he had made. And he couldn't outrun this. I mean, there were docuseries made about this thing. He was trending all over the news. Carl owns the mistakes he made. He takes full accountability for what he's done wrong. And today he'll tell you what it feels like to feel like you're driving a locomotive and it's about to hit the wall and you can't stop it. The dread, the weight of it, the anxiety, the secrecy, the arrogance, the lies that you tell yourself and everyone around you. But the reason that I invited him to be here today with you and me is because of what he did after the wreckage. I love that he owns what he did and that he's leaned into the worst things that he's done to extract some of the biggest lessons anyone could learn about life. I love the way that he and his wife and his three children lean toward each other because it's so easy, isn't it, to lean away from people when things get hard? And I also love what they've taken from it as a family and how the entire experience and the past five years have changed him for the better. If you've ever screwed up and gotten fired or lied or cheated on somebody or had a relationship end or done something that you regret, I'm gonna tell you something: It's not the mistake that you made that defines you, it's what you do next. And today, we're gonna flip the way that you think about it on its head. We're gonna teach you how to look at it all differently and forgive yourself, and you're gonna learn how to turn the page, take accountability for what went wrong, learn what you need to learn, forgive yourself, and

2. 5:31 – 16:38

   This Conversation Is About Forgiveness

   1. MRMel Robbins5:31

      move on. So please help me welcome my friend Carl to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Carl Lentz, I am so excited that you are here. Thank you for jumping on a plane. Thank you for being here in Boston. I am just... I know that this is going to be a transformational conversation.

   2. CLCarl Lentz5:50

      It's an honor. Uh, you know I love you and Kris a lot, and this is, uh, it's a special place to be.

   3. MRMel Robbins5:55

      Carl, we have been friends for a couple years.

   4. CLCarl Lentz5:58

      Mm-hmm.

   5. MRMel Robbins5:58

      And since knowing you, you are the kind of person that has really opened up my heart and opened up my mind, and I'm so excited for the person who is here with us right now-

   6. CLCarl Lentz6:09

      Mm-hmm.

   7. MRMel Robbins6:10

      ... who's hit play, who's watching, who's listening, and I know that by the time we're done, they're gonna say to themselves, "This is exactly..."... what I was meant to hear.

   8. CLCarl Lentz6:20

      Mm.

   9. MRMel Robbins6:21

      This is exactly what somebody that I care about needs to hear right now. And so, I'd love to have you start by speaking directly to the person that's with us.

   10. CLCarl Lentz6:31

       Mm.

   11. MRMel Robbins6:31

       And if you could share with them, Carl, what they might experience that could be different about their life-

   12. CLCarl Lentz6:39

       Mm.

   13. MRMel Robbins6:39

       ... if they take to heart everything that you are about to share about your own life and lessons learned and the wisdom that you've gained-

   14. CLCarl Lentz6:46

       Mm.

   15. MRMel Robbins6:48

       ... and they apply it to their life. What could change?

   16. CLCarl Lentz6:51

       What you're gonna find on this, this episode with, with Mel and I, if you need more peace and you need more presence, you're gonna find that here. 'Cause I, I feel like I don't know a lot, but I know a little. If you've ever faced something in your life that has just been hectic and heavy and hard and you're like, "Is it going to get better?" we're gonna share some thoughts on how you can create peace, avoid the wrong kind of pressure, and step into power maybe you've never known. And it's a privilege to be able to talk about it.

   17. MRMel Robbins7:24

       Well, Carl, you're the perfect person to talk about it.

   18. CLCarl Lentz7:27

       Mm.

   19. MRMel Robbins7:27

       You know, when you talk about turmoil or a season of your life where just it's a disaster.

   20. CLCarl Lentz7:33

       Mm.

   21. MRMel Robbins7:33

       And there's not a human being that goes through life that doesn't have a chapter that you wish would end or never happened. And, you know, one of the things that's interesting about you is that after everything that's happened in your life... And we're gonna get into that, you know, in just a minute. I... Nobody would have blamed you if you're just like, "Okay. I'm just gonna disappear."

   22. CLCarl Lentz7:55

       Yeah.

   23. MRMel Robbins7:55

       "I'm just gonna take my things and quietly sneak out the back door."

   24. CLCarl Lentz7:59

       Mm.

   25. MRMel Robbins7:59

       "And I'm never gonna show my face in public again. I'm not gonna talk about what happened."

   26. CLCarl Lentz8:03

       Mm.

   27. MRMel Robbins8:04

       But you and your wife and your family-

   28. CLCarl Lentz8:06

       Mm.

   29. MRMel Robbins8:06

       ... made a different choice.

   30. CLCarl Lentz8:07

       Yeah.
3. 16:38 – 21:37

   The True Cost of Living a Double Life

   1. CLCarl Lentz16:38

      Hmm.

   2. MRMel Robbins16:38

      But what do you want the person to know about what your life looked like when you thought that you were at the top?

   3. CLCarl Lentz16:48

      Hmm. My life had areas that were on fire and other areas that were really fruitful, and that's a dangerous place to be because you can function because of the fruit and you could ignore the fire, and if you do that long enough, everything will burn eventually.

   4. MRMel Robbins17:08

      So, you mean on fire, like, you have parts of your life that are working amazingly well-

   5. CLCarl Lentz17:13

      Amazingly well.

   6. MRMel Robbins17:13

      ... and then you've got s- stuff that's burning to the ground in the background-

   7. CLCarl Lentz17:17

      Oh, yeah.

   8. MRMel Robbins17:17

      ... as it's working amazingly well?

   9. CLCarl Lentz17:19

      Correct.

   10. MRMel Robbins17:19

       Okay, so put us at the scene.

   11. CLCarl Lentz17:21

       Okay.

   12. MRMel Robbins17:21

       What was happening in your life? Because just assume that the person-

   13. CLCarl Lentz17:25

       Yeah.

   14. MRMel Robbins17:25

       ... who is listening has no idea-

   15. CLCarl Lentz17:26

       Yeah.

   16. MRMel Robbins17:27

       ... who you are, has no idea about this story, and I think that's another important thing.

   17. CLCarl Lentz17:30

       Yeah.

   18. MRMel Robbins17:30

       When you're in the middle of it-

   19. CLCarl Lentz17:31

       Yeah. Yeah.

   20. MRMel Robbins17:32

       ... you actually think everybody on the planet knows.

   21. CLCarl Lentz17:34

       Sure. (laughs) Yeah. Yeah.

   22. MRMel Robbins17:36

       And-

   23. CLCarl Lentz17:36

       (sighs)

   24. MRMel Robbins17:36

       ... this was a huge public story, but I didn't know it was happening.

   25. CLCarl Lentz17:40

       Yeah. If you don't know anything about my story, uh, my wife and I planted a church in New York City and it was incredible, and we loved every second of it. And with that comes a lot of, uh, platform. It comes with, uh, criti- criticism, it comes with acclaim, and the whole nine yards, and we were very visible. We had a, a big platform. And-

   26. MRMel Robbins18:00

       Right. But explain though, Carl, 'cause it was, like, record breaking.

   27. CLCarl Lentz18:04

       Yeah. I mean, we-

   28. MRMel Robbins18:05

       Like how, how... Like, what was the church?

   29. CLCarl Lentz18:06

       (sighs)

   30. MRMel Robbins18:06

       How big was it?
4. 21:37 – 32:31

   The Truth Behind the Infidelity

   1. CLCarl Lentz21:37

   2. MRMel Robbins21:37

      I love the visual of the fracture. And as you're listening to Carl, I want you to think about the fracture that you're living with right now. Or maybe you've got somebody in your life...

   3. CLCarl Lentz21:50

      Mm.

   4. MRMel Robbins21:51

      ...and you can see the fracture.

   5. CLCarl Lentz21:52

      Mm.

   6. MRMel Robbins21:53

      And you know the break is coming.

   7. CLCarl Lentz21:55

      Yeah.

   8. MRMel Robbins21:55

      But they are, like Carl is telling you in this story, the, the hero of their own story.

   9. CLCarl Lentz22:00

      (laughs) Right. Yeah.

   10. MRMel Robbins22:01

       "It's gonna be fine. I got it under control-"

   11. CLCarl Lentz22:04

       Yeah.

   12. MRMel Robbins22:04

       ...and you're thinking, "No, you don't. I see this thing." Or you feel it in yourself...

   13. CLCarl Lentz22:08

       Yeah. Yeah.

   14. MRMel Robbins22:09

       ...and yet you are still playing the-

   15. CLCarl Lentz22:11

       Yeah.

   16. MRMel Robbins22:11

       ...hero in your own story that you can live with this.

   17. CLCarl Lentz22:14

       Mm-hmm. I- if you hear this and you're like, "I might have some fractures," a great way to find out what could be deadly is, what are you afraid to get checked out? Have you ever been sick and you're like, "I don't wanna go to the doctor, 'cause if they tell me that I have mother F-ing COVID again, I'm gonna lose my mind."

   18. MRMel Robbins22:28

       Yes.

   19. CLCarl Lentz22:28

       "It could just be a cold."

   20. MRMel Robbins22:29

       Yes.

   21. CLCarl Lentz22:29

       And then you just kind of deal with this discomfort and dysfunction. Like, everybody's gotta deal with some sort of dysfunction, right? Men say that all the time. Like, you'll, you'll hear them tell their story and you're like, "You know that's a major trauma?" And they're like, "No, that's just being a man." (laughs) I'm like, "No, bro. That's not being a man. You can get that fixed. There's help for you," right? So there is an element of understanding a fracture that it's like, if- if you don't think you have any fractures, okay? If you have something in your life that you're afraid to bring out, that's the thing that's gonna kill you. So bring it out. What, what that would have looked like for me is, like, I don't know how to get peace.

   22. MRMel Robbins23:02

       Hm.

   23. CLCarl Lentz23:03

       Um, I can't slow down. And somebody probably could have helped me. And by the time I did, I went to go see a, a brain doctor with a friend of mine who was in trouble, and he did a, a brain scan on me, and he called me a couple days later. He said, "Hey, you need to come in here and talk to me." And I sat down with, with, uh, Dr. Amen.

   24. MRMel Robbins23:22

       Mm-hmm.

   25. CLCarl Lentz23:23

       And he said, "Carl, you need to, you need to resign and you need to go get help, because your brain is not functioning correctly. And if you haven't made bad decisions yet, you will, it's a matter of time. You need to step down." And I looked at him and I thought, "That's never gonna happen. There's no hope for me. No, I just gotta keep... I'm gonna run as fast as I can on this fracture and see how far I can go." And that was, uh, that was a big deal for me. And on this side of the tracks, that's why I'm really quick to ask people, "I appreciate all the stuff that you're telling me. What are you not telling me? What are you not telling me about? All the stuff that you're really..." Hey, help me with this, and they're, "Cool." What's the thing you don't want to share? That's where your power is. So whatever you're hiding is taking the, the place of what could be power, so you might wanna bring it out. So for me, it was, if I go back to our story, um, we, we had a lot of areas that, that were great as a family. Even even our marriage. There's a myth that when you see infidelity, like you did in, in our relationship, that the marriage was bad. And that's just not true all the time. Um, I love my wife and she loves me and we have a phenomenal family. I just was extraordinarily broken. There were times where Laura would catch something, feel something, sense something, and I would lie to her.... one way or the other, whether it was by omission, or whether it was by painting another picture-

   26. MRMel Robbins24:42

       Mm-hmm.

   27. CLCarl Lentz24:42

       ... or whether it was just overpowering her conviction-

   28. MRMel Robbins24:45

       Mm-hmm.

   29. CLCarl Lentz24:45

       ... and making her think that she didn't see what she saw. And, and that began (sighs) a hesitancy in her to trust me. And when you have that in a marriage, you're in trouble. And she did what, uh, a strong woman would do, which is challenge me, over and over again. And I would just go further and further back. So it went from, "I, I, I don't wanna lie to my wife, so I'm just gonna distance myself from her." It's hard to think back on. (sniffs) 'Cause I can't imagine that now, which is again, a testament to taking more from it. Like, I took fr- from that chapter now, I, I have an intimate relationship with the woman of my dreams that I probably never could've known. Uh, but that's, that's what happens with, with fractures. So my story is filled with that. And then I got to a place at the end where the spiral was such, where I mean, I, I had trouble sleeping and I had trouble, um, communicating with people that I loved, and I was just really good at what I was doing. (laughs) And that'll get you into a place where people are like, "Well, I'm not sure you're okay, but, you know, some of this stuff's still working," and that can be a problem. So sometimes your strength can be the greatest cover for what you need help with in the secret places of your life. So when it all... The day that it all happened, I had been ruminating on that for a while. And I-

   30. MRMel Robbins26:08

       Like literally thinking at some point it's gonna blow up?
5. 32:31 – 46:53

   The Night Carl’s Life Imploded

   1. CLCarl Lentz32:31

   2. MRMel Robbins32:31

      And can you just put the person, like, right, like, what happened?

   3. CLCarl Lentz32:36

      Yeah, I mean, I, I, I was, um, I got a call from my assistant, um, and one of my best friends who was also on my staff. He said, "I gotta talk to you about some stuff." And they confronted me on the beginning of some things, and I did, you know, throughout the course of that day, get as honest as I knew how to be. And it went from there to, I gotta tell my wife, and... Yeah, it's a, it was a bad day. And I had to tell Laura. Like, and, and that was a, that's a tough memory that I will never, ever let leave me, 'cause that's a memory I wanna keep. And as weird as that sounds, um, 'cause we try to push some of that stuff out, I don't ever wanna forget her face... on that day. I don't wanna forget that.

   4. MRMel Robbins33:29

      Why?

   5. CLCarl Lentz33:29

      And, and, and, and because I-

   6. MRMel Robbins33:31

      Why do you not wanna forget that?

   7. CLCarl Lentz33:31

      Because I, I'd never gonna be there again.

   8. MRMel Robbins33:33

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CLCarl Lentz33:34

      And so I, I then, we went back and we told, uh, my kids. Ava-

   10. MRMel Robbins33:39

       Now, why did you tell your kids? How old were your kids at this point?

   11. CLCarl Lentz33:42

       Uh, Ava was, I wanna say, like, maybe 16. Um, and Charlie's 14. Roman's, I think at that time, 12, 11? Young. He's, they're, they're, they're in the, the prime of their adolescence right now. And, um, we told them because we knew stuff was gonna come out-

   12. MRMel Robbins34:02

       Hmm.

   13. CLCarl Lentz34:02

       ... 'cause we were a very, it was a very public, uh, life we lived. And so I told my daughter. Uh, Charlie, at the time, was in a, a place getting help for her, her own mental health, so I had to tell her over Zoom. That was hard. And I told my son, who really didn't get it. And then my s- um, we had just sold our house in New Jersey for this fun adventure and we hadn't picked a place yet, so we were staying at my friend's apartment in Brooklyn. Beautiful apartment. When all the news broke, that person texted me and said, "I, I want you out of my house. I want you out by the end of the night." And I said to my friend, "I'm sorry. Um, okay, we don't have anywhere to go." And he said, "I want you out." And so within this hou- these hours' span, I had to, we got two U-Hauls, and there was paparazzi outside, and there's the, it was like a swirl of... I, I just felt like I was in a different world. And we had to load up everything we had into these two U-Hauls, and we just started driving. And Laura said, "Where we going?" I said, "I really don't know," because I didn't know who to call, and some people wouldn't return my calls and other people would, and then, and we just didn't know where to go. We had a friend, her name's Kim, she lives in Jersey. Got ahold of her, she said, "Come here. Come stay at my house. You guys can stay at my house." And it's tough to go back into some of these places, but it matters, because people need to know, you know, that you can make it out of these moments. But it, it runs deep. And I'm in a U-Haul, Roman's, you know, this little guy, he said, "Dad, where are we going?" I said, "I don't know, man. I don't know." And I remember thinking, "I'm in a, I'm in a car, in a U-Haul, headed to Connecticut. My life is on fire. And, uh, I don't know if I'm gonna get out of this. I don't know if we're gonna make it." And I remember looking at my son who's just petrified. He doesn't know what's going on. You know, you don't give a kid more than he can bear at that point, so I'm not gonna sit there and say, "Buddy, I did A, B, and C." It's just, "We're making some changes." You know, these big, (laughs) you're just doing your best. But that was a pivotal... When people ask me about a rock bottom moment, I'm like, "Well, I moved to Rock Bottom Ville." Rock bottom's not a moment. It, I moved into a Rock Bottom Ville. And, uh, that was a night that is etched in my mind as well, because I don't wanna forget that either. And, and it was, it was the beginning of this slow unraveling. And so if, you know, if you're watching this, my, my church is connected to so many other churches, and it began a domino effect-

   14. MRMel Robbins36:21

       Hmm.

   15. CLCarl Lentz36:21

       ... where, you know, my issues exposed other issues, and next thing you know, everybody's on Front Street. And, and to a degree, I was the impetus to some of that. And, uh, it was, it was a, it was a really hard time. But that's, for those of you who w- really wanted to go to the moment, if you've ever had one of those nights where you never think you're gonna get out of it, maybe you're even in that season right now, just do not give up.And that's one thing I can say about my wife and myself that I am proud of is that we didn't give up. A lot of people stop right there. And somehow, by the grace of God, we found the fortitude to keep trying to figure this out. And, uh, but it was, uh, those are, those are some tough memories to pull up, but they matter.

   16. MRMel Robbins37:05

       I love that you keep reminding us-

   17. CLCarl Lentz37:08

       Hmm.

   18. MRMel Robbins37:09

       ... that you don't want to push those memories away.

   19. CLCarl Lentz37:11

       No. Mm-mm.

   20. MRMel Robbins37:13

       If you have had an experience in your life where you've gone through something horrific-

   21. CLCarl Lentz37:20

       Yeah.

   22. MRMel Robbins37:21

       ... it really can shape and make you in ways that are so important because when you really get just absolutely burnt to the ground in-

   23. CLCarl Lentz37:34

       Yeah.

   24. MRMel Robbins37:34

       ... those moments, it does give you this level of convention to go, "I'm not going back there-"

   25. CLCarl Lentz37:42

       Yeah.

   26. MRMel Robbins37:42

       "... ever."

   27. CLCarl Lentz37:43

       Right.

   28. MRMel Robbins37:43

       Like, I will never be in a position again with my spouse where I will ever have anything but transparency. There is no way, like, I will never get myself in a position-

   29. CLCarl Lentz37:56

       Yeah.

   30. MRMel Robbins37:56

       ... where I will not have peace or I will-
6. 46:53 – 1:01:19

   What Real Self-Forgiveness Actually Looks Like

   1. MRMel Robbins46:53

      thing, like-

   2. CLCarl Lentz46:53

      Yeah.

   3. MRMel Robbins46:53

      ... "What the hell did you do that helped you stop punishing yourself?"

   4. CLCarl Lentz46:56

      Here's how you know somebody has forgiven themselves. They start to invest in the new version of who they are now.

   5. MRMel Robbins47:03

      Hmm.

   6. CLCarl Lentz47:03

      That's how you know. So if you are struggling to forgive yourself, number one, let's make that leap, "I forgive myself." If you do that, the only way you can prove that is by investing in this new, better version of who you're becoming, and that's the evidence on the board. So w- when people struggle to do that, you know it because there's so much about what they were-

   7. MRMel Robbins47:23

      Hmm.

   8. CLCarl Lentz47:23

      ... and what they didn't want to be. There's no evidence of who they are now. So if you look at me, hope you know I've forgiven myself, because there's no way you can walk around with bright eyes and any sort of confidence knowing the wreckage of my life. Yeah, no, it's not that I don't know that. A lot of people get thrown off by that, 'cause they want you to be sad. They want you to be broken. And that says more about them than it does you anyway, but for me, it's like I've, I've forgiven myself. And, "How can you even show your s- face in public?" Well, I forgave myself. God forgave me. My wife forgave me. My kids forgave me. I forgave myself. That's how. What would you like me to do? Think about what shame does. Shame is the opposite of your chest out. Shame is your shoulders down.

   9. MRMel Robbins48:01

      Hmm.

   10. CLCarl Lentz48:02

       And your head down. Even the body language of shame is demeaning, and I just don't have time for that. And-

   11. MRMel Robbins48:09

       How long did it take though? Because you know what I mean? Like...

   12. CLCarl Lentz48:10

       Overnight, Mel. I just nailed it, you know? (laughs)

   13. MRMel Robbins48:12

       (laughs) Just stop. (laughs) But, no, seriously-

   14. CLCarl Lentz48:14

       I just figured this out an hour ago.

   15. MRMel Robbins48:16

       (laughs)

   16. CLCarl Lentz48:17

       Um...

   17. MRMel Robbins48:17

       Because this was how many years ago? When did this happen?

   18. CLCarl Lentz48:20

       Almost five years.

   19. MRMel Robbins48:21

       Okay, so five years.

   20. CLCarl Lentz48:22

       Yeah, yeah.

   21. MRMel Robbins48:22

       How long after the complete implosion and the scene in the U-Haul...

   22. CLCarl Lentz48:28

       Did I start to see a little bit of light?

   23. MRMel Robbins48:30

       Yeah, because look.

   24. CLCarl Lentz48:30

       Hmm.

   25. MRMel Robbins48:31

       It's easy to say, "I forgive myself." It's easy to say, "I gotta invest in the new me." But we all look backwards.

   26. CLCarl Lentz48:42

       It took a long time to get there, and I think it's important to know that some of that stuff you have to feed every single day, because there is a, there is a- a chapter where it's completely normal, if you're in the middle of a humiliating thing...You gotta accept the bad days where you just feel ashamed and you feel bad. That's part of the growth process.

   27. MRMel Robbins49:04

       Mm-hmm.

   28. CLCarl Lentz49:04

       Like, there's this mythical thing. It's like, "No, I forgave my... I forgave myself." But there are still times now where I have to catch myself wondering, like, k, i-i-i-if that, if that, is that person wondering what kind of person I am now?

   29. MRMel Robbins49:16

       Hmm.

   30. CLCarl Lentz49:16

       Does that person think... Like, every person I meet, I, I have to get over that hurdle of, how are they meeting me? What, what do they think they know about me? And that can either make you never come outside and just shut yourself off to people 'cause you don't wanna deal with that, or you can get stronger internally and say, "There's a good chance that this person may or may not know what they think they know about me and I'm okay either way 'cause I accept me." If you accept you, it takes the weight off other people accepting you.
7. 1:01:19 – 1:04:23

   Encouragement to Keep Growing

   1. CLCarl Lentz1:01:19

   2. MRMel Robbins1:01:19

      Carl, what are your parting words?

   3. CLCarl Lentz1:01:22

      My, my parting words would be that there's deep and immense value in you.

   4. MRMel Robbins1:01:28

      Mm.

   5. CLCarl Lentz1:01:29

      So much value. We live in a world that starts to eat away at the identity of what might be inside us. Here today, you are far more valuable than you know. There is so much to come in your life that will even shock you, but today might, maybe it's just enough to be able to consider, "What if I'm right?" What if you were valuable? What if this world wouldn't be the same without you?

   6. MRMel Robbins1:02:00

      Mm.

   7. CLCarl Lentz1:02:00

      What if your contribution can be something that brings light to so many people? You're valuable. So if you haven't heard that today, hear it today. If you haven't thought that in a while, think it today, "I am valuable," because you are. And it's hard to stop somebody who knows that they're valuable. They don't go on sale for anybody.

   8. MRMel Robbins1:02:25

      Carl, I love you.

   9. CLCarl Lentz1:02:27

      I love you.

   10. MRMel Robbins1:02:28

       You are such a gift in my life. Chris and I love you and Laura. I am so glad that the holy roller that is Carl came rolling into our life. You-

   11. CLCarl Lentz1:02:42

       Mm-hmm.

   12. MRMel Robbins1:02:43

       ... um, I'm really proud of you.

   13. CLCarl Lentz1:02:45

       Thank you.

   14. MRMel Robbins1:02:46

       And I'm proud of how you showed up today, and I'm so excited to see the chapter that you're writing now, and the world is such a better place because you're in it.

   15. CLCarl Lentz1:02:59

       Thank you. I love you. Grateful for you. Thank you for pushing me.

   16. MRMel Robbins1:03:05

       It has been such a honor of mine to introduce you to my dear friend Carl, and I am so just moved by everything that he shared with you and with me today. I am so grateful that you're here. Thank you for sharing this with people that you care about. I know that this is a conversation that will change peoples' lives, and in case no one else tells you, Carl told you that you're worthy, and you are. I also wanted to tell you that I love you, and I love you for listening and watching this. I love you for listening to something that could improve your life. And take everything that Carl shared with you to heart, because if you do, your life will improve, and you deserve that. All righty, I will see you in the very next episode. I will be waiting to welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there. (instrumental music) And for you sitting here watching with me on YouTube, I just wanna say please share this with somebody. Don't just sit and watch. Please do something. And take a minute and subscribe to this channel because it's really a way that you can support me in bringing you new videos every single day. And I'm sure you're looking for something really inspiring to watch, to really move you, so I want you to check out this video next.

Episode duration: 1:04:23