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The Mel Robbins PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast

How to Move On, Let Go of Past Mistakes, and Reinvent Yourself

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Today’s episode is a deeply honest conversation about what it takes to let go of mistakes, forgive yourself, leave your past in the past, and create a new version of you. In this moving episode, Mel sits down with her friend Carl Lentz, a former megachurch pastor, who watched his life implode in real time. Carl doesn’t dodge the truth: His actions shattered trust, cost him his career, and nearly destroyed his family. But this is not a story about scandal. It’s about what you do after the worst moment of your life. It’s about the courage to face what you’ve done, to stop running, to forgive yourself — and to rebuild something stronger from the wreckage. Carl doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out. What he offers is honesty without excuses, wisdom forged in pain, and a raw invitation to stop letting your past dictate your future. If you’ve made mistakes, if you’re struggling to forgive someone, if you're trying to put the pieces back together, this conversation will meet you right where you are. Because you are not your worst moment. And your next chapter is still yours to write. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-310/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Meet the Guest 05:31 This Conversation Is About Forgiveness 16:38 The True Cost of Living a Double Life 21:37 The Truth Behind the Infidelity 32:31 The Night Carl’s Life Imploded 46:53 What Real Self-Forgiveness Actually Looks Like 01:01:19 Encouragement to Keep Growing — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Carl LentzguestMel Robbinshost
Jul 23, 20251h 4mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

From Shame To Grace: Rewriting Your Worst Chapter Into Power

  1. Mel Robbins interviews former Hillsong NYC pastor Carl Lentz about blowing up his life through infidelity, addiction, and secrecy, and how he rebuilt from total public and personal collapse.
  2. Carl explains the difference between shame and remorse, arguing that shame is a self-focused prison while remorse is an engine for change, and details the inner fractures that led to his implosion.
  3. He shares the brutal aftermath—losing his job, home, reputation, friends, and nearly his sanity—and the slow, unglamorous work of healing, rebuilding his marriage, and redefining his identity.
  4. Throughout, they outline a practical emotional roadmap for anyone stuck in regret or self-hatred: confront the fracture, stop digging, forgive yourself, invest in the new you, and choose to author the next chapter.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Shame keeps you self-absorbed; remorse propels real change.

Shame says, “I am bad” and locks your focus on yourself, draining energy from healing and others. Remorse says, “I did something bad,” and can become an engine that drives you to make amends and grow.

Your hidden “fractures” will eventually break if you don’t face them.

Carl likens unaddressed issues to a bone fracture an athlete plays on: you can function for a while, but overcompensation and neglect guarantee a worse break later. Whatever you’re afraid to get “checked out” is the thing most likely to destroy you.

If you’re in a hole, stop digging and tell someone the truth.

Carl emphasizes that when you’re spiraling—whether in addiction, infidelity, or denial—the first step is to stop compounding the damage with more lies or avoidance and then reach out to someone safe and be fully honest.

Self-forgiveness shows up as investment in your new self, not words.

Saying “I forgive myself” isn’t enough; you demonstrate it by consistently investing time, energy, and habits into the healthier version of you instead of mentally living in your worst chapter.

Forgiveness of others is a decision; the follow-through is daily work.

You won’t instantly feel healed after deciding to forgive; old anger and hurt will resurface. The practice is to reaffirm your choice, get support (therapy, prayer, reflection), and treat aftershocks as part of living out that decision.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Your worst chapter is not your last chapter.

— Carl Lentz

It is easy to lie. It’s not easy to live with lies.

— Carl Lentz

Whatever you’re hiding is taking the place of what could be power.

— Carl Lentz

At least give your best self the same amount of time to build your life that you gave your worst self to destroy it.

— Carl Lentz

You control your story, nobody else… You’ve got to pick up the pen of ownership and say, ‘This is my life. This is who I want to be.’

— Carl Lentz

The difference between shame, regret, and remorseLiving with hidden fractures and the inevitability of collapseAddiction, lying, and the internal dual life of a public leaderThe aftermath of public failure: rock bottom, loss, and isolationSelf-forgiveness versus seeking forgiveness from othersForgiving those who hurt you and reclaiming your powerReinventing yourself: planting new seeds, playing the long game, and writing a new chapter

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