The Mel Robbins Podcast“I Can’t Stop Stalking My Ex Online. How Do I Stop?” How To Move On For Good | Mel Robbins Podcast
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:25
Rapid-fire Q&A setup: “You ask, I answer” format + how to submit questions
Mel opens by explaining this is a second round of rapid-fire listener questions after the first episode drove a huge response. She shares where to submit new topics and introduces Amy McGlynn as the reader of questions.
- •Repeat of a popular rapid-fire Q&A episode
- •Audience participation and submitting questions via melrobbins.com/podcast
- •Amy McGlynn introduced as the question reader
- •High-energy tone and expectation-setting
- 1:25 – 5:00
Top takeaways from 100 podcast guests: anxiety, body-based habits, fasting, and tidying
Mel answers what she’s personally implemented from guests: reframing anxiety as an internal “alarm,” focusing on nervous-system/physical habits, experimenting with intermittent fasting, and adopting Dana K. White’s decluttering approach. The emphasis is on practical, daily actions that improve mood and functioning.
- •Anxiety reframed as an “alarm” tied to feeling separate/alone
- •Mental health improvements often come from “neck down” habits
- •Morning routine: get up, make bed, bright light, quiet walk
- •Intermittent fasting cycle learned from Dr. Mindy Pelz
- •Dana K. White’s tidying method: stop organizing piles; reduce excess and return items immediately
- 5:00 – 8:29
Can’t stop stalking an ex online: treat it like an addiction and remove access
Mel responds bluntly to a listener who still checks an ex’s social media seven years after the breakup. She frames the behavior as an addictive dopamine cycle and insists that moving on requires cutting access completely and building accountability.
- •Social-media checking creates a dopamine/negative-emotion loop
- •Ongoing exposure keeps the past in the present and blocks a new future
- •Non-negotiable action: block the ex on every platform and delete contact info
- •You can’t rely on willpower—design the environment to prevent access
- •Tell friends for accountability and request they don’t bring the ex up
- 8:29 – 9:35
Astrological sign tangent: Libra, birthdays, and “balance” as a self-check
A lighter question prompts Mel to share she’s a Libra and reflect on what “balance” means to her. She uses the moment to describe how she notices when she’s out of alignment and works her way back.
- •Mel identifies as a Libra (born October 6)
- •Humor about common October birthdays and New Year’s timing
- •“Balanced” doesn’t mean perfect—alignment is a practice
- •Awareness of imbalance and returning to center
- 9:35 – 11:12
Faith, signs, and the ‘portal is open’: synchronicity and being open to guidance
Mel explains her belief in a higher power as an interconnected, benevolent force rather than a fixed doctrine. She describes “signs” and synchronicities as guidance that become more visible when you’re clear about what you want and open to possibility.
- •Belief in a higher power and human interconnectedness (not rigid definitions)
- •Signs/synchronicities as attention-getters and anchor points
- •“The portal is open” = openness + courage + clarity to notice alignment
- •Extraordinary outcomes become more likely when you act from belief
- •Daily practice: look for consistent indicators you’re moving the right direction
- 11:12 – 15:59
Kendall’s festival story: imposter syndrome, connection, and a ‘sign’ that changed everything
Mel tells a detailed story about her daughter Kendall at the Newport Folk Festival feeling like an imposter, then choosing humor and connection over freezing. A surprising musical coincidence leads to an on-stage performance and new opportunities, illustrating Mel’s view of alignment and help appearing through action.
- •Imposter syndrome in high-status environments can cause paralysis
- •Behavior shift: use strengths (humor) to start conversations and connect
- •Meeting a key musician (Phil) without knowing his status
- •A “sign” moment: thinking of a song and hearing it played immediately
- •Opportunity follows action: performance leads to industry connections
- 15:59 – 17:17
What happens when we die? A ‘born into another world’ analogy
Mel shares a personal belief about death using a pregnancy/birth metaphor: just as a fetus can’t comprehend life outside the womb, we may be ‘born’ into a new reality after death. She acknowledges uncertainty while emphasizing a spiritual lens.
- •Death framed as transition rather than ending: “born into another world”
- •Analogy: womb as complete reality until birth proves otherwise
- •Comfort with not knowing; spirituality over certainty
- •Distinction from traditional religious teaching
- 17:17 – 18:00
Religion, Jesus as a figure, and ‘works’: spirituality expressed through how you treat people
Continuing the spiritual theme, Mel describes her upbringing in church but positions divinity as something accessed internally. She emphasizes lived values—showing care and acting with decency—as the real expression of faith.
- •Grew up going to church (Methodist) but holds non-literal views
- •Jesus described as historical figure rather than exclusive conduit
- •God/universe as something you connect with inside yourself
- •Faith expressed through behavior: acting like you give a damn about people
- 18:00 – 22:35
Dealing with difficult parents in kids’ friend groups: stop chasing inclusion and set boundaries
Mel addresses the social dynamics of school-aged kids and the insecurity-driven behavior of parents who try to force invitations and manage friendships. Her advice: let kids manage age-appropriate relationships, don’t make exclusion a crisis, and have direct conversations with boundary-crossing parents.
- •Advice depends on kids’ ages; dynamics shift as kids gain autonomy (phones/text chains)
- •Parents forcing invites often act from insecurity and make kids miserable
- •Not being invited isn’t a moral failing—help your child find better-fit friends
- •Direct boundary-setting with demanding parents
- •Normalize that neither parents nor kids will be included in everything
- 22:35 – 27:46
Post-baby intimacy mismatch: prioritize connection and ‘affection over penetration’
A husband wants intimacy soon after a baby; Mel reframes the ask as impatience for sex and highlights postpartum physical and emotional recovery. She encourages honest conversation, non-sexual intimacy, and making the partner feel safe and respected—which ultimately rebuilds desire.
- •New parents often experience a libido/timing mismatch
- •Normalize postpartum pain, fear, body changes, hormones, and baby blues
- •Build intimacy through conversation, care, and non-penetrative closeness
- •Ask what feels good and what boundaries exist right now
- •Respect and emotional safety increase desire over time
- 27:46 – 28:01
A question Mel won’t answer: life insurance basics (and moving on)
Mel quickly declines a question about life insurance, signaling the limits of what she can responsibly cover in a rapid-fire advice setting. The episode then pivots to the next personal topic.
- •Not every topic fits the show’s expertise or format
- •Clear boundary: “Not really”
- •Rapid-fire pacing keeps the episode moving
- 28:01 – 28:32
How Mel discovered she’s dyslexic: adult diagnosis through a child’s evaluation
Mel explains that she learned about her dyslexia when one of her children was diagnosed, which prompted her to recognize familiar patterns in herself. She then pursued a neuropsych evaluation, and it clarified past experiences in hindsight.
- •Adult dyslexia often discovered via a child’s diagnosis
- •Recognition of shared signs and challenges
- •Confirming diagnosis through neuropsych testing
- •Retrospective clarity: “makes sense in the rear-view mirror”
- 28:32 – 30:27
Promoting your business without feeling egotistical: marketing as service, not self-importance
Mel delivers tough-love advice to entrepreneurs who hesitate to self-promote. She argues that hiding out due to insecurity is selfish because it prevents the people who need your help from finding you; reframing marketing as service removes the shame.
- •Fear of judgment keeps people from marketing
- •Reframe: promotion helps customers who are searching for solutions
- •Calling it ‘bragging’ often masks insecurity
- •If your work helps, withholding it is a disservice
- •Adopt a service mindset and communicate clearly about what you offer
- 30:27 – 34:31
When personal development ‘isn’t working’: stop consuming and start behavioral activation
Mel tackles why people can do “all the work” yet still feel unworthy: personal growth can become entertainment rather than action. She recommends behavioral activation—define what a ‘worthy’ version of you does daily and then do those behaviors to create an internal proof loop.
- •Personal development can become passive consumption
- •Key distinction: learning vs changing habits and confronting patterns
- •Behavioral activation therapy: act like the person you want to become
- •Exercise: write a ‘day/week in the life’ of the worthy you, then do it
- •Worth isn’t earned from jobs/people; it’s built internally through self-treatment and action
- 34:31 – 36:35
Outro + behind-the-scenes bloopers and required legal disclaimer
The episode closes with Mel’s signature encouragement and then rolls into studio bloopers, mic checks, and playful banter. She ends by reading the legal disclaimer about educational/entertainment purposes and invites viewers to leave questions for future episodes.
- •Mel’s closing message of support and accountability
- •Bloopers: audio beeps, resets, joking about sprinkles, dogs interrupting
- •Studio behind-the-scenes feel
- •Legal disclaimer: not therapy or medical advice
- •Call to action: leave questions in comments and share the episode
