The Mel Robbins Podcast

Overloaded, Exhausted, and Ready for a Reset: 3 Doctors Give Their Best Advice

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — If you’re exhausted, barely keeping it together, and quietly wondering when you’ll feel like yourself again… this episode is your lifeline. Maybe you’re the one who keeps the house running. The one everyone calls in an emergency. The one who knows takes care of everyone including medications, the bills, doctor visits, and the schedules. The one who stays up late searching for answers, and gets up early to make sure everyone else is okay. You don’t complain. You don’t slow down. But you’re running on fumes. And no one sees it. You feel invisible. Like you are losing yourself. Like you’re going through the motions in a life that used to feel like yours. Mel is talking to you in this episode. Whether you’re raising kids, managing a household, supporting aging parents, a sick family member, or all of the above, taking care of others can slowly wear you down and make you feel like you don’t even know yourself anymore. In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, Mel sits down with three world-renowned experts, all of whom are doctors as well as caregivers, to give you the truth, the tools, and the hope you need to finally come up for air. You’ll hear from: -Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, Harvard physician and stress researcher, on why chronic caregiving stress is not your failure, it’s a public health crisis -Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, psychiatrist and bestselling author, who’ll teach you how to set guilt-free boundaries and reclaim a sense of control over your life - Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, physician and bestselling author, whose deeply personal story will show you how to stop disappearing into caregiving, and start living again This episode is not about pushing harder. It’s about finally pulling back in a way that actually helps. You are not alone. You are not failing. And you are not here to disappear. So press play, and let this episode take care of you for once. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-307/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 01:07 Are You Exhausted? 07:33 Caregiver Burnout Explained 13:39 The Guide to Parenting from a Harvard Professor 22:22 The 5 Questions to End Caregiver Overwhelm 42:29 How to Set Boundaries Without Crushing Guilt 49:24 You’re Not Here To Disappear 1:04:33 You are Strong! — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Aditi NerurkarguestGuest (doctor describing caring for ill parents and solitude practice)guest

Jul 13, 20251h 8mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Burned-Out Caregivers Reclaim Control: Tiny Habits, Big Emotional Reset

Mel Robbins talks with three physicians—Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, Dr. Puja Lakshman, and Dr. Rangan Chatterjee—about the hidden toll of caregiving on parents and adult children caring for aging or ill relatives. They define “caregiver syndrome” and normalize feelings of exhaustion, resentment, guilt, and identity loss as a predictable response to chronic, unsupported care work. The doctors explain how stress, lack of boundaries, and internalized guilt strip caregivers of agency, then offer concrete, very small starting steps—like drinking water, sitting for lunch, or taking five minutes of solitude—to rebuild control. Across the conversation, they reframe self-care not as selfish, but as essential for the caregiver’s health and for the well-being and modeling they provide to their children and loved ones.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Name caregiver syndrome so you stop blaming yourself.

Feeling exhausted, resentful, lonely, and constantly ‘behind’ is not a personal failure; it’s a recognized pattern called caregiver syndrome or burnout. Once you label it, you can see it as a type of chronic stress that needs support and strategy, not more willpower.

Your well-being directly affects your children’s and loved ones’ health.

Research shows children of caregivers with poor mental health are four times more likely to have poor health themselves. Taking care of your sleep, stress, and mental health is not optional or selfish—it’s part of caring for your family and modeling healthy adulthood.

Reclaim agency by focusing on one small thing you can control each day.

You may not be able to change the illness, the workload, or the financial pressures, but you can choose one manageable action—like a five-minute break, a set bedtime, or a real lunch—that reminds you your life isn’t totally dictated by others’ needs.

Use five questions to locate where your energy is leaking.

Checking in on motivation, draining people/situations, rest, asking for/receiving help, and time for what truly matters reveals the specific pressure points in your life. The question that stings most usually shows where you need to begin setting a new boundary.

Start boundaries at the lowest stakes: feed and water yourself first.

Instead of beginning with huge, emotionally loaded limits around family or holidays, start with basics like drinking water hourly, sitting down to eat, or taking a short pause from work. These ‘remedial’ acts build skill and confidence to handle bigger boundaries later.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

The reason you feel so low is not because you're failing. It's because you're caring for everyone else, and no one's caring for you.

— Mel Robbins

Simply put, caregivers need care too.

— Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, citing the U.S. Surgeon General

You can only pour from a cup that is full.

— Dr. Aditi Nerurkar

Guilt is not something that needs to be your moral compass. It is just one feeling that is there among many other feelings and thoughts.

— Dr. Puja Lakshman

You don’t get an award if you run yourself into the ground. You are not just a caregiver, you’re a person, and you deserve to matter too.

— Mel Robbins

Caregiver syndrome, burnout, and its physical and emotional symptomsParenting stress and the impact of caregiver mental health on childrenAgency: reclaiming a sense of control through small, realistic choicesBoundaries: signs you don’t have them and how to start building themGuilt as a barrier to self-care and a new way to relate to itIdentity loss in caregiving and shifting the story about your roleMicro self-care practices: sleep, water, rest, and daily solitude

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