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In this episode, you are going to learn that it is never too late to try to repair a broken or difficult #relationship.
The research shows that #estrangement is not only on the rise but that the majority of us have at least one extended family member or friend who is estranged.
I know this is true in my extended family, and I also have friends who are estranged from their parents.
Whether you’re the person who has cut off contact or if you're the one sitting there wondering why someone you love did, our episode today will give you the language, tools, and context to start moving towards understanding and #healing.
Dr. Joshua Coleman (@dr.joshuacoleman4216) is a #psychologist and best-selling author who works with families to repair broken bonds and help them reconcile and improve difficult or estranged relationships.
In fact, according to Dr. Coleman, the strategies he is sharing with you work, and the statistics are in your favor.
I hope you share this with anyone you know who is dealing with a difficult relationship. It is very common, especially after a divorce and even when someone has a new spouse or significant other.
When someone you love suddenly pulls away or cuts you out of their life, you need tools and a playbook for how to reach out, exactly what to say (and not to say), and when you need to stop reaching out.
Today you’ll learn:
- Why estrangement is on the rise
- How some therapists are encouraging estrangement
- What to do if you’re the sibling
- The role that mental illness, addiction, divorce, and new spouses play
- The #1 reason Dr. Coleman sees adult children as estranged parents is due to divorce between parents.
Xo, Mel
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
01:42 The silent epidemic that’s happening right now is estrangement.
03:13 What is estrangement?
10:22 The horrible advice for estrangement Dr. Coleman got in therapy.
16:52 What moving towards a child's trauma looks like
18:48 The most common complaint adult children have for their parents
22:32 One of the most common pathways to estrangement
24:45 The most common mistakes estranged parents make
29:53 Why radical acceptance is a required step in reconnecting
33:51 Let’s unpack why guilt doesn’t work.
38:34 What to do when reconciliation isn’t desired by the other person
40:55 What are the steps towards reconciliation?
44:02 Why Dr. Coleman says that parents have a moral obligation to take the high road
52:47 What is an amends letter, and how should you write it?
55:54 What to do if you’re the sibling
1:02:05 When you should stop reaching out for reconciliation
1:06:51 The hopeful message you need to leave with
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