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Start Loving Yourself With THIS Simple Habit In The Morning | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — In today’s episode, you will learn the 5 things that #men secretly struggle with and how you can open up the conversation to better support them. I’m proud to introduce you to my husband, Chris, who is the founder of a men's retreat, Soul Degree. He has been leading these retreats for the past 6 years and has worked with everyone from veterans, executives, and first responders to college students. Chris has incredible insight into the secrets that men keep and the struggles they’re facing alone. Hearing Chris unpack it is very compelling. He not only shares insights from leading retreats for 6 years but also from his #coaching practice and his work as a death doula. Many of the struggles that he witnesses in other men are the exact same struggles that he has worked through as well. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear, and so do the people that love them. It’s not just we women who struggle with #selflove; everyone struggles with loving themselves. If you don’t know what’s going on with the men in your life, let me talk to them and let them know it’s okay. That’s why I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your routine. Today you’ll learn: - The 5 shocking things that most men in your life are struggling with - One habit that has helped hundreds of thousands of people to start showing self-love - Why it’s so hard to love yourself and the secret to self-love - The science behind why this habit is transformative - The profound insight my husband Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge #Love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. This is an encore episode with new and exciting insights from me at the top of the episode. You keep asking about how to embody self-love, and it starts with what you do when you first wake up. Xo, Mel In this episode: 00:00 Intro 02:33 The 5 shocking things that most men are struggling with 06:42 Do you put others' needs above your own? Do this exercise. 17:16 The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people 18:42 My husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first. 23:15 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure 26:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge 28:27 What all men struggle with 29:49 50% of people find it impossible to do this. 32:48 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life 36:14 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer 40:24 Why it’s so hard to love yourself 32:48 What Chris has to say to all the men out there 44:11 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit 46:26 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do 48:38 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear 50:05 The secret to self-love #menshealth #mentalhealth — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostChris RobbinsguestGuest email writer (listener)guest
Jul 2, 20231h 1mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Mel Robbins Reveals Morning Habit Transforming Men’s Self-Worth And Healing

  1. Mel Robbins and her husband Chris discuss men’s hidden emotional struggles—people-pleasing, loneliness, pressure to provide, feeling inadequate, and a longing for deeper meaning.
  2. Chris shares how founding his men’s retreat, Soul Degree, exposed these common themes and how he personally spent years feeling like a failure despite outward success in family life.
  3. They explore Mel’s "High 5 Habit"—high-fiving yourself in the mirror—as a simple, science-backed way to begin self-acceptance, forgiveness, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself.
  4. The episode closes with a powerful listener story and a call for men and women to start with small daily acts of self-compassion, especially learning to truly look at themselves in the mirror.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Men often put everyone else first and lose sight of their own needs.

Chris finds many men literally cannot list what they want or need when asked; years of prioritizing work, family, and obligations at the expense of self have atrophied their "self-care" muscle.

Male loneliness is widespread, especially in midlife, due to neglected friendships.

As careers, family, moves, and health issues take over, many men stop cultivating deep friendships and wake up in their 40s or 50s feeling friendless, unseen, and emotionally isolated.

The provider role and money become a harsh yardstick of male worth.

Cultural and internal expectations to be the protector and breadwinner fuel relentless pressure; when careers stall or businesses fail, men often see themselves as complete failures rather than people who had setbacks.

A high proportion of men quietly feel “not good enough.”

Chris describes years of looking in the mirror and seeing only failure, missed expectations, and comparison to his father’s model of success, which fed long-term depression and self-criticism.

The High 5 Habit is a simple entry point to self-forgiveness and self-love.

High-fiving yourself in the mirror—especially while making eye contact—leverages the brain’s lifelong positive association with high-fives, triggering encouraging neurochemistry and beginning to rewire how you relate to yourself.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

The high five was easy, but looking at myself in the mirror, that was not easy.

— Chris Robbins

Very rarely do men feel truly seen and heard.

— Chris Robbins

You may feel alone, but you are not alone… in either the struggle you have with forgiving yourself or the judgments or the failures.

— Chris Robbins

You will never forgive yourself if you refuse to look yourself in the eyes with compassion.

— Mel Robbins

When it comes to learning to love yourself, you have to start with the actions—actions that demonstrate love.

— Mel Robbins

Common emotional struggles men face but rarely expressThe origins and structure of Chris’s men’s retreat, Soul DegreeThe High 5 Habit and its psychological/neuroscientific basisSelf-perception, shame, and redefining failure and successLoneliness, lack of deep friendships, and male conditioningForgiveness, self-compassion, and learning to love yourself through actionPractical rituals: mirror work, high-fiving yourself, and slowing down

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