The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: MD’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

November 16, 2023

Duration

54m

Channel

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Ready to level up? 🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — Does this doctor have the health secret you’ve been looking for? Does people-pleasing really make you sick? Dr. Neha Sangwan (@Doctorneha is an internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and accomplished researcher. Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Sangwan to learn the truth about people-pleasing. Topics discussed include: People-pleasing: what it is Are you a “yes” person? The difference between “going with the flow” and people pleasing Why avoiding conflict makes you a people-pleaser What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood People pleasing and the link to illness What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort How to trace your people pleasing back to a single moment in time Why being stressed, irritated, and tired is a sign that you are a people-pleaser Why being a control freak may be a sign of people pleasing How to unlearn people pleasing How every conflict in your life traces back to childhood trauma What happens, from a medical perspective, when you have an unresolved conflict? The secret reason you’re an overachiever How to stop your people-pleasing behavior at work and set better boundaries What it really means when you resent the people you love Why people-pleasing is a “protection tool” you learn to use in childhood The link between chronic worry and people pleasing The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no" How 80% of all illnesses are caused by stress The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you You can purchase Dr. Sangwan’s book, ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://a.co/d/iaVNwiL Download a FREE audio chapter from ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://intuitiveintelligenceinc.com/mel/ Follow Dr. Sangwan: Instagram: instagram.com/doctorneha Webpage: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast/ I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 03:21 Mel’s jaw hit the floor when she heard this. 03:58 If you struggle with people-pleasing, you are not alone. 04:49 Are you a “yes” person? 06:54 People-pleasing: what is it? 09:07 What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser 11:58 What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood 14:14 Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism 15:52 Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort 20:32 The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no” 24:54 Is everyone on the planet a people-pleaser? 28:37 What are the 2 functions of the brain? 29:48 What it really means when you resent the people you love 33:47 When Dr. Sangwan connected her people-pleasing with overwhelm 36:08 Dr. Sangwan received this shocking diagnosis from an MD. 39:57 The secret reason you’re an overachiever 44:03 How 80% of all illness is caused by stress 45:17 The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you 47:12 Wow, this might be the root cause of your anxiety. 50:02 How to stop your people-pleasing at work and set better boundaries #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #boundaries #childhoodtrauma — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Mel Robbins

  host

• Dr. Neha Sangwan

  guest

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Dr. Neha Sangwan, The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: MD’s Recommendation on How to Say “No” explores doctor Exposes How People Pleasing Quietly Destroys Your Health And Life Mel Robbins interviews internal medicine physician and researcher Dr. Neha Sangwan about the hidden connection between people pleasing, chronic stress, and physical illness. Dr. Neha explains that people pleasing is not a personality type but a coping behavior we adopt to feel safe, loved, and to belong—often rooted in childhood experiences. Over time, constantly saying yes when we mean no, avoiding conflict, and abandoning our own needs creates unresolved stress that contributes to burnout, anxiety, depression, and even medical conditions. The conversation offers a framework for recognizing these patterns, understanding their origins, and building the internal anchor and communication skills needed to set healthier boundaries and protect your health.

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