The Mel Robbins Podcast

This Teen Cracked the Code on Anxiety and Teaches You How He Did It | Mel Robbins Podcast

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Are you tired of feeling anxious? Want to know a simple way to boost your #confidence? Do you need better #boundaries with your family? Buckling under the pressure of college applications, a job search, or other big life decisions? Listeners from around the world have been writing in about these issues, asking specifically for both Mel’s advice and her 18-year-old son Oakley’s young adult perspective. This is a fantastic conversation to listen to as a family. It will give you amazing insight into issues you may be facing as well as eye-opening honesty about how the young adults in your life are thinking about these topics. In this conversation, Mel and Oakley discuss topics like: - How to properly support someone you love with #anxiety - When to know if it’s time to break up with someone - If it’s possible to stay friends with an ex - How to create boundaries with your family - When you should be worried someone is spending too much time alone - A really interesting take on gaming - Handling the pressure of college applications, divorce, job search, or finding your purpose - How to talk to your kid about alcohol: surprising boundaries you can use to protect the ones you love - What to do to get someone talking when they are not talking to you - Specific advice on building confidence as a young adult - Mistakes divorcing parents make - How to have a tough conversation with your parents - Calming words for someone going through a hard time - A short visualization exercise to calm anxiety - A fun and free way to get closer to your #family - A young adult perspective on hazing and bullying and why you should always get your parents involved This podcast is presented for educational and entertainment purposes. I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 01:32 This is why I love having my son, Oakley, on the podcast. 04:29 How to let go of the pressure when your life doesn’t go the way you want. 08:50 You get to set boundaries with family and friends. 12:18 What to do for your kids when you’re going through divorce. 14:38 How do you give your kids the space to be their own person? 18:24 How do you talk to your kids about alcohol? 24:03 When do you know it’s time to break up with someone? 26:00 Can you be friends with your ex? 27:02 How to support your siblings throughout your life. 30:26 How to handle your teen always being in their room. 35:35 Advice about boosting your confidence at any time in your life. 40:57 As a parent, do you step in when your college kid is being bullied? 44:52 What you need to know when you feel lost and alone. 46:32 How do you support someone with chronic anxiety? 47:30 Meditation strategies to use when you’re feeling anxious. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostOakleyguest

Nov 6, 202352mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Teen Shares Practical Wisdom On Anxiety, Boundaries, And Growing Up

Mel Robbins hosts her 18-year-old son Oakley for a wide-ranging conversation about modern teen life, focusing heavily on anxiety, stress, and relationships between parents and kids. Oakley shares how he approached the college process, built confidence after bullying and self-doubt, set boundaries with his parents, and navigates issues like alcohol, breakups, and gaming. Together they offer specific scripts and strategies for hard conversations—around divorce, favoritism, mental health, and teens isolating in their rooms. Oakley also teaches a simple grounding exercise using breath and an imagination-based ‘mentor table’ visualization to manage anxiety and feel less alone.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Stress is inevitable; the goal is management, not elimination.

Oakley reframes stress (college apps, jobs, relationships) as a normal part of life and urges teens to stop expecting a stress-free path and instead practice perspective, breathing, and appreciating where they are right now.

Clear boundaries improve relationships—especially between parents and teens.

Oakley directly told Mel he didn’t want to talk about college at home; that honesty let her support him better. They encourage teens and adults to plainly say what’s off-limits (e.g., fertility, dating, weight, job search) so home stays a safe space.

Lead parenting decisions with values, not control.

On topics like alcohol and teen experimentation, Mel and Chris focus on what they can realistically control—safety, open communication, and trust—rather than banning behavior, which often drives secrecy, bingeing, and risky choices.

Confidence comes from action and aligned friendships, not image.

Oakley links his confidence to doing uncomfortable things (theater, wearing a silly Halloween costume alone) and surrounding himself with people who ‘hype him up’ rather than crowds he has to perform for; he stresses you can’t think your way to confidence—you have to try.

Hard conversations land better when you lead with feelings and specifics.

Whether it’s confronting parents about favoritism or checking on a teen always in their room, they recommend using feeling statements (“I’m starting to feel unimportant,” “You don’t seem like yourself”) plus concrete examples instead of accusations.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

You will never live a life that is stress-free.

— Oakley Robbins

If you spend the last year of high school worrying about the college process, you won't enjoy the last year of high school.

— Oakley Robbins

Confidence is the willingness to try. It's not a feeling.

— Mel Robbins

If you are not happy anymore in this relationship, I can promise you, you will be more happy out of it.

— Oakley Robbins

They are people too. You and your spouse are not the only ones that are suffering from this.

— Oakley Robbins (on kids during divorce)

Managing stress and anxiety, especially around the college processParent–teen communication, boundaries, and respecting privacyHandling divorce, bullying, and perceived parental favoritismAlcohol, parties, and safety from a values-based parenting approachRomantic relationships, breakups, and building real confidenceSibling connection and family rituals (dinners, group chats)Teens’ alone time, gaming, and social life in the digital age

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