The Mel Robbins PodcastThis Life-Changing Conversation Will Help You Make Peace With Who You Are
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 5:54
Monrovia’s core message: suffering doesn’t cancel belonging
Mel sets up why this guest is different, then Monrovia opens with the episode’s thesis: life contains suffering, but you still belong in it. He frames his music and storytelling as proof that your time here is meant.
- •Mel previews Monrovia’s unusual life story and emotional impact
- •Suffering is real, but it doesn’t disqualify you from belonging
- •Mon’s purpose: help listeners feel their life is meant through story and music
- 5:54 – 6:54
Using memory to keep going: “the art of continuation”
Mon explains how he builds the belief that he’s meant to be here, especially during dark periods. He introduces memory—remembering what you’ve already survived—as a practical tool for continuing.
- •Belief comes from recalling what you’ve already endured
- •“Still standing” counts even when you’re on the floor
- •Continuation as a practice, not a personality trait
- 6:54 – 8:01
What Monrovia’s music is designed to do: peace, quiet, and self-worth
Mel asks Mon to describe his artistry. Mon describes his songs as a calming space that lowers anxiety and helps people reflect on their own importance and inner life.
- •Music as a peaceful “realm” to reduce anxiety
- •Storytelling and intimacy over noise and speed
- •Art as a mirror that helps listeners see themselves clearly
- 8:01 – 9:48
“Watchful” as survival: belonging, code-switching, and protection mechanisms
Mon shares how shyness and being ‘watchful’ helped him navigate America as a Liberian child adopted into a White household. Mel connects the concept to the universal experience of entering spaces where you’re unsure you belong.
- •Watchfulness as adaptation and self-protection
- •Assimilating in a new culture and household shaped identity
- •Feeling lost can trigger observation over expression
- 9:48 – 15:33
Healing with others: why community matters when you’ve suffered alone
Mon explains the mission behind ‘Heal With Others’ and ‘healing out loud.’ He describes music as the journal that helped him suffer less alone—and then became a bridge to community for others.
- •Isolation can exist even when surrounded by people
- •Music as an honest outlet that evolved into shared healing
- •Community replenishes the ‘outpouring’ of love and grace
- 15:33 – 18:12
Liberia, civil war, and being taken at seven: the origin of the rupture
Mon recounts his early life in Liberia during civil war, the loss of family members, and how an aunt brought him to a missionary family. He reflects on how being removed from land, language, and people shaped his mind and silence.
- •Mother’s death and grandmother raising the siblings during war
- •Aunt’s decision leads to Mon living with a missionary family
- •Trauma of displacement: silence, confusion, and cultural rupture
- 18:12 – 22:20
Shame, burying the past, and why acceptance is necessary to move forward
Mel asks about shame and how people carry it even when they aren’t responsible for what happened. Mon explains how avoiding the past doesn’t work—the past influences choices until you face and accept the truth.
- •Shame about origins and history is common and isolating
- •Avoidance/burying becomes an undertow shaping decisions
- •Healing begins with truth and acceptance, not erasure
- 22:20 – 25:12
“Find another day”: a brutally honest method for not quitting
Mon defines ‘continuing’ through his mantra ‘find another day’—not toxic positivity, but permission to quit later while choosing not to quit today. Mel unpacks why this framing is powerful for people in despair.
- •“Not today” as a realistic survival strategy
- •Permission to feel pain without letting it end the story
- •Continuation as repeated daily choice that changes outcomes over time
- 25:12 – 29:02
Adoption and identity: ‘Whose face am I?’ and the need for origin truth
Mon and Mel explore the complexity of adoption: gratitude and love alongside confusion, grief, and identity questions. Mon advocates telling adoptees their true starting point—however hard—because it anchors identity and healing.
- •Adoption carries lifelong emotional complexity beyond ‘you’re saved’
- •Identity longing: traits, lineage, and ‘Whose Face Am I?’
- •Truth about origins as a stabilizing foundation for adoptees
- 29:02 – 33:40
Learning his mother’s story—and being conceived through violence—without losing peace
Mon describes reconnecting with his sister and discovering painful truths about his mother Maria and his conception through sexual violence. He shares the release of finally grieving—and the reframe that beauty can still come from violence because his mother chose love afterward.
- •Contact with sister unlocks missing history and grief
- •Truth of conception through wartime sexual violence
- •Healing reframe: love and choice can follow violence; tears as release
- 33:40 – 39:18
Creating safety to face truth: quiet spaces, journaling, and finding your voice
Mon advises that acceptance starts with safety and quiet—spaces away from the world’s loudness. He explains how journaling became his first safe place, later transforming into lyrics and songs as a way to express what felt unsafe to say aloud.
- •Safety is often felt, not just factual; trauma can persist in dreams
- •Quiet and protected spaces enable truth-telling
- •Journaling as ‘me and me’—the first safe space that became songwriting
- 39:18 – 44:57
Falling out of love with suffering: addiction, rock bottom, and rebuilding with support
Mon explains what it meant to be ‘in love with suffering’—believing he deserved pain as penance for survival and wasted opportunity. He describes the turning point: accepting his father’s extended hand, rebuilding a house in California, and realizing he could rebuild himself too.
- •Self-punishment mindset: ‘I deserve this’
- •Rock bottom in college: depression, drugs, alcohol, instability
- •Healing through accepting help and the metaphor of demolition/rebuild
- 44:57 – 50:30
Becoming ‘Monrovia’: reclaiming origin, purpose, and survivor’s guilt as opportunity
Mon shares why he changed his artist name from JonJai to Monrovia in 2019: to stay grounded in where he’s from and make it ‘not about me.’ He then reframes survivor’s guilt from blame to ‘claiming the gift,’ shifting guilt into growth and service.
- •Name change as identity reclamation and moral compass
- •Survivor’s guilt reframed: from blame/penance to gift/opportunity
- •‘Guilt to growth’: small changes accumulate into freedom
- 50:30 – 1:00:17
Finding the sound and the audience: ukulele, TikTok, and accepting encouragement
Mon traces the winding path into music—writing early, resisting visibility, experimenting with beats due to identity expectations, then returning to ukulele songwriting. A friend/manager’s push to post originals on TikTok catalyzed rapid community growth and validated that emotions connect everyone.
- •Resistance to being seen; ‘watcher’ identity persists
- •Identity and genre expectations shaped early musical choices
- •TikTok originals + ukulele created a daily ritual and global community
- 1:00:17 – 1:13:13
Belonging, gifts meant to be given, and a live performance of ‘Crooked the Road’
Mon answers ‘Who am I?’ with a grounded lineage statement and encourages listeners not to stop before they find their people. He explains ‘Crooked the Road’ as leaving suffering and accepting help, then performs it live—closing with reflections on keeping songs meaningful.
- •Identity claimed: ‘son of Maria from Liberia’
- •Belonging is found by continuing; belief opens the world
- •Song meaning: stop pushing helpers away; accept the hand
- •Live performance and closing gratitude/encouragement
