The Mel Robbins Podcast

Want to Be Happier Right Now? Don’t Make This Mistake (New Surprising Science)

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — What is the secret reason you might not be #happy? Did you know that there are common things that steal #fulfillment and #joy from your life? Today, Mel is diving into the 3 research-backed #habits that can make your life better. Because happiness is not only possible; it is an option for you. This conversation is not only comforting and impactful; it is also packed with practical and proven tools that can be put to work in your life immediately. Mel is thrilled to introduce you to the incredible Dr. Judith Joseph, MD (@drjudithjoseph) Dr. Joseph is a renowned double-board-certified psychiatrist who trained at and is affiliated with Columbia University and New York University. Dr. Joseph is also a pioneering researcher and the founder and principal investigator of her research institute, Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, where she has conducted over 60 clinical research trials, and today she is sharing her innovative work with you. This interview took a surprising turn. In this hour-long conversation, Mel goes deeper than ever, discussing her struggle with the lingering feeling of “blah” she’s had for the past couple of years. In this episode, you’ll also learn: - Why you need to throw your idea of what happiness is out the window. - The ONE thing you need to know if you want to achieve a happier life. - What “anhedonia” is and what are the signs of struggling with it are. - Learn if you have anhedonia (and Mel’s shocking results to Dr. Joseph’s quiz). - Dr. Joseph’s ONE recommendation for anyone who wants more daily enjoyment in life. - How long it will take you to be happier with Dr. Joseph's techniques. - 3 simple steps to taking better care of yourself this year. - The real reason the lack of joy is so common right now. - Why you don’t remember as much anymore. - The common mistakes you might be making that block joy. - The connection between slowing down and increased meaning and happiness. - The ONE thing Dr. Joseph will NEVER do to keep joy and happiness in her life. For more resources, including links to Dr. Joseph’s work, studies, and quizzes to find out if you have anhedonia, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-143 I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. Dr. Judith Joseph's resources: https://www.drjudithjoseph.com/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast In this episode: 00:00 Intro 05:28: Why you need to throw your idea of what happiness is out the window. 08:55: What is anhedonia, and what are the signs you are struggling with it? 11:04: The connection between labeling feelings and overall happiness. 18:24: Why you may be forgetting your COVID pandemic memories. 23:52: Is secondhand stress really possible? 30:24: The mistakes you might be making if you feel like joy is out of reach or not a priority anymore. 31:12: The quiz Mel took to reflect on her symptoms of high-functioning depression: https://www.drjudithjoseph.com/anhedoniaquiz 35:32: A psychiatrist's ONE recommendation for anyone who wants more daily enjoyment in life. 42:04: What the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is and why you need to try it tomorrow. 47:37: The connection between slowing down and increased meaning and happiness. 55:19: The ONE thing as a psychiatrist Dr. Joseph will NEVER do to keep joy and happiness in her life? 58:17: The small ways to insert joy into your life to be more successful. 1:01:42: What really happened when Mel stopped doing the small things that truly made her happy. 1:03:32: How long it will take you to be happier with Dr. Joseph’s techniques. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Judith Josephguest

Feb 1, 20241h 8mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Redefining Happiness: Healing Post-Pandemic Numbness With Small Joys

Mel Robbins interviews psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Judith Joseph about why so many high-functioning people feel empty, numb, and “meh” despite outward success. Dr. Joseph argues that our cultural idea of constant, peak “happiness” is unrealistic and actually fuels dissatisfaction, especially after years of unprocessed collective trauma from the pandemic and social upheaval. She introduces anhedonia—a clinical term for lack of joy—as a widespread, under-acknowledged condition now affecting many otherwise functioning adults. Together, they explore a science-backed shift from chasing big happiness milestones to deliberately creating small, daily “points of joy” through presence, sensory awareness, and emotional validation to slowly bring feelings back online and become happier overall.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Stop chasing a fixed state of ‘being happy’; aim to become happier through daily moments of joy.

Dr. Joseph explains that the culturally idealized, constant-happiness state is unattainable and sets people up for chronic dissatisfaction. Shifting focus to accumulating small, attainable “points of joy” each day is more realistic and effective for overall well-being.

Recognize anhedonia—feeling blah, numb, or joyless—even if you’re still ‘high-functioning.’

Anhedonia is a clinical term for lack of pleasure, and many people experience it as feeling on autopilot, empty, or disconnected while still working, parenting, and performing. Naming it (affect labeling) reduces stress and is the first step toward change.

Unprocessed collective trauma from recent years is silently driving widespread numbness and burnout.

Using a biopsychosocial lens, Dr. Joseph links the pandemic, social unrest, financial uncertainty, isolation, and digital overuse to a sustained fight-or-flight state where people coped by overworking, consuming, and numbing instead of processing their experiences.

Your environment and leaders can spread numbness—or joy—throughout systems and families.

Corporate and family cultures that reward nonstop productivity and emotional suppression make anhedonia ‘contagious.’ Conversely, when leaders, parents, or partners intentionally cultivate small joys and presence, that joy is also contagious and reparative.

Use structured sensory grounding to bring feelings back online safely.

Practices like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method—slowly noticing five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste—interrupt autopilot, anchor you in the present, and gently retrain your nervous system to feel again.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Happiness is not a state. It’s about increasing the points, the moments of joy.

— Dr. Judith Joseph

People are walking around feeling blah or meh or just feeling numb, and then to give them this impossible idea of happiness to obtain, it’s just not right.

— Dr. Judith Joseph

If we don’t know how we feel, how can we identify what to do with this feeling?

— Dr. Judith Joseph

If you are not true with yourself, how can you fix things? How can things get better?

— Dr. Judith Joseph

Tomorrow is not promised. How do we improve the points of joy today?

— Dr. Judith Joseph

The myth of happiness as a permanent, peak emotional stateAnhedonia: what it is, why it’s rising, and how it feelsCollective trauma from the pandemic and its biopsychosocial impactHow high-functioning, successful people can still feel empty or numbDr. Joseph’s anhedonia rating scale and the “points of joy” frameworkGrounding and sensory practices (5-4-3-2-1) to restore joyRedefining self-care and boundaries in a productivity-obsessed culture

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