The Internet is Clueless About Relationships - Dr Max Butterfield

Dr. Max Butterfield is an experimental psychologist and professor who studies relationships and decision-making. Why does love make us do crazy things? Rom-coms make relationships look easy, but real love is far more complicated. So what actually makes a relationship work—and why does love make us act irrationally? Expect to learn what science says about what people should do to recover from a breakup, if the Norwegian skier who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend was doing more harm than good to his relationship, what Dr Max wished more men and women knew about how to signal interest, why we ruminate so much and how to ruminate less, what healthy communication actually looks like and much more… - 0:00 Did This Declaration of Love Backfire? 7:37 Why Grand Gestures are a Bad Idea 14:03 The Science of Bouncing Back After a Breakup 18:58 Is a Breakup Really Like Losing Someone? 20:31 Why Do We Ruminate So Much? 31:01 How Rejection Shapes US 32:32 How Can We Better Signal Interest? 37:52 Why Women Signal Beauty Through Clothing 44:30 Is She Actually Out of His League? 47:02 The Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore 50:32 Why the Evolutionary Approach to Relationships is So Fascinating 56:36 The Green Flags to Look For in a Partner 01:03:51 The Power of a Psychological Reset 01:11:18 Why We Need to Be Direct in Our Communication 01:16:27 The Hidden Role of Indirect Aggression 01:21:36 Why is Intrasexual Competition Such a Controversial Topic? 01:27:12 Why Healthy Communication is So Important 01:38:33 What’s Next For Ben - Get 10% discount on all Gymshark products at https://gym.sh/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM10) Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get up to $50 off the RP Hypertrophy App at https://rpstrength.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostDr. Max Butterfieldguest

Mar 9, 20261h 39mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: March 9, 2026
Duration: 1h 39m
Channel: Modern Wisdom
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Dr. Max Butterfield is an experimental psychologist and professor who studies relationships and decision-making. Why does love make us do crazy things? Rom-coms make relationships look easy, but real love is far more complicated. So what actually makes a relationship work—and why does love make us act irrationally? Expect to learn what science says about what people should do to recover from a breakup, if the Norwegian skier who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend was doing more harm than good to his relationship, what Dr Max wished more men and women knew about how to signal interest, why we ruminate so much and how to ruminate less, what healthy communication actually looks like and much more… - 0:00 Did This Declaration of Love Backfire? 7:37 Why Grand Gestures are a Bad Idea 14:03 The Science of Bouncing Back After a Breakup 18:58 Is a Breakup Really Like Losing Someone? 20:31 Why Do We Ruminate So Much? 31:01 How Rejection Shapes US 32:32 How Can We Better Signal Interest? 37:52 Why Women Signal Beauty Through Clothing 44:30 Is She Actually Out of His League? 47:02 The Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore 50:32 Why the Evolutionary Approach to Relationships is So Fascinating 56:36 The Green Flags to Look For in a Partner 01:03:51 The Power of a Psychological Reset 01:11:18 Why We Need to Be Direct in Our Communication 01:16:27 The Hidden Role of Indirect Aggression 01:21:36 Why is Intrasexual Competition Such a Controversial Topic? 01:27:12 Why Healthy Communication is So Important 01:38:33 What’s Next For Ben - Get 10% discount on all Gymshark products at https://gym.sh/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM10) Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get up to $50 off the RP Hypertrophy App at https://rpstrength.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

SPEAKERS

Chris Williamson
host
Dr. Max Butterfield
guest

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring Chris Williamson and Dr. Max Butterfield, The Internet is Clueless About Relationships - Dr Max Butterfield explores evidence-based relationship science: breakups, signaling interest, and online advice pitfalls The conversation opens with a viral example of a public “grand gesture” (an Olympian confessing infidelity on camera) to illustrate how dysregulation and shame can drive misguided attempts to repair relationships.

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