The Most EYE OPENING Speech On Success & Happiness NOBODY SHARES! | Elizabeth Day

She says her definition evolved after doing her podcast: failures range from everyday plans going awry to life-shaping events, and the key is allowing grief while eventually learning what the experience can teach you.

She argues that many people feel like failures because they’re measuring themselves against socially conditioned expectations (including commercial messaging) rather than personal values, and that quiet and stillness help people hear what they actually want.

Both speakers describe how saying the hard thing out loud (or writing it) reduces isolation and helps others feel less alone; she adds that shame depends on silence and dissipates when you choose not to be silent.

She describes learning (with help from a close friend) that she often labeled anger as sadness because anger felt socially unacceptable, especially for women, and she connects appropriately expressed anger to positive social change.

She explains that people-pleasing can become “outsourcing” your identity to others’ opinions, leading to relationships and work dynamics that don’t serve you; both note it can also function as a (sometimes unconscious) attempt to control others’ responses.