The psychology of compatibility with Malcolm Gladwell

On tour for his new book, Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World, Adam sits down for a crackling live event with journalist and author Malcolm Gladwell. They discuss and debate the building blocks of compatibility. Adam and Malcolm reflect on why our first impressions of people are often wrong, why people are so drawn to astrology, and how we can fix dating apps. They also explore which relationships are actually toxic, how parent-child bonds change as kids grow, and what it means to be a nerd. Follow our podcasts! ReThinking with Adam Grant: https://link.mgln.ai/kdYcyx The TED Podcasts is a collection of podcasts for the curious. The TED Podcasts videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organiz...). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com.

Adam GrantguestMalcolm Gladwellhost

Oct 23, 202655mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: October 23, 2026
Duration: 55m
Channel: Re:Thinking with Adam Grant
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

On tour for his new book, Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World, Adam sits down for a crackling live event with journalist and author Malcolm Gladwell. They discuss and debate the building blocks of compatibility. Adam and Malcolm reflect on why our first impressions of people are often wrong, why people are so drawn to astrology, and how we can fix dating apps. They also explore which relationships are actually toxic, how parent-child bonds change as kids grow, and what it means to be a nerd. Follow our podcasts! ReThinking with Adam Grant: https://link.mgln.ai/kdYcyx The TED Podcasts is a collection of podcasts for the curious. The TED Podcasts videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organiz...). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com.

SPEAKERS

Adam Grant
guest
Organizational psychologist and Wharton professor, host of the Re:Thinking podcast and author of books on work and relationships.
Malcolm Gladwell
host
Journalist and bestselling author known for exploring social science and human behavior (e.g., Outliers, Blink).

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Re:Thinking with Adam Grant, featuring Adam Grant and Malcolm Gladwell, The psychology of compatibility with Malcolm Gladwell explores why connection depends on roles, dynamics, and shared experiences Adam Grant introduces a three-part framework for relationships—allies (shared goals), pals (shared fun), and companions (shared vulnerability/confiding)—and explores how roles can be fluid rather than hierarchical.

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