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Re:Thinking with Adam GrantRe:Thinking with Adam Grant

What if Anna from Frozen set strong boundaries?

You probably know Kristen Bell as the star behind characters like Veronica Mars, Princess Anna from Frozen, and Eleanor from The Good Place. In this episode, Adam sits down with Kristen live at BetterUp’s Uplift leadership summit to examine how she’s learning to overcome her people pleasing tendencies and stop internalizing other people’s emotions. Kristen gets in character to demonstrate how to be honest without being unkind. She also makes the case that compliments are underrated, opens up about her strategies for dealing with envy, and offers a surprising theory of why we overexplain. Join us in person at a TED conference: https://tedtalks.social/events Become a TED Member to support our mission: https://ted.com/membership Subscribe to a TED newsletter: https://ted.com/newsletters Follow our podcasts! Podcasts: https://www.ted.com/podcasts Fixable: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/fixable How to Be a Better Human: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/how-to-be-a-better-human ReThinking with Adam Grant: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/rethinking-with-adam-grant TED Talks Daily: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/ted-talks-daily TED Business: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/ted_business TED Health: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/ted-health TED Tech: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/ted-tech The TED Audio Collective is a collection of podcasts for the curious. The TED Audio Collective videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organiz...). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com.

Adam GranthostKristen Bellguest
May 9, 20261mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 0:00 – 0:26

    Scenario setup: Elsa vents, Anna needs to set a boundary

    Adam Grant sets up a role-play: Elsa is repeatedly dumping heavy problems and complaining, and Anna needs to respond with a healthy boundary. Kristen Bell agrees to take on Anna’s role.

    • •A close relationship is strained by constant venting/complaining
    • •The goal is to practice boundary-setting without abandoning the person
    • •Adam frames the exercise as a Frozen role-play (Adam as Elsa, Kristen as Anna)
  2. 0:26 – 0:36

    Kristen Bell’s honesty: why boundary-setting is hard as herself

    Before answering, Kristen explains she would struggle to respond as “Kristen” because she doesn’t know how to set that kind of boundary with someone. She pivots to answering as Anna, a character who can model a clearer response.

    • •Admits discomfort and uncertainty about setting boundaries in real life
    • •Highlights how role-play/characters can unlock healthier scripts
    • •Transition from personal self to character-based problem-solving
  3. 0:36 – 1:03

    Anna’s boundary script: stay connected while not carrying the burden

    Kristen delivers Anna’s response: affirming love and loyalty while naming a limit on emotional capacity. She proposes placing the problems “in between us” so she can remain present without taking full responsibility for holding them.

    • •Affirms the relationship (“best friend and sister”) before setting the limit
    • •Names current capacity: not strong enough to carry heavy problems right now
    • •Offers an alternative: share the burden by setting it down together
    • •Maintains support and presence while refusing emotional overload

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