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Dr. Shadé ZahraiDr. Shadé Zahrai

Why You're Miserable at Work... & What to Do About It! | Shadé Zahrai

If you’re unhappy at work, it comes as no surprise. A survey from Monster found that 95% of respondents were thinking about quitting their jobs — and burnout is the number one reason. Why do we work so hard, only to end up miserable? We seem to be operating on untruths. We have a collective belief that if we work hard and ‘do our time’, we’ll eventually be happy. We’ll eventually reach the destination we’re working so hard to get to. Then, all of our worries will disappear. Yet this elusive quest for happiness only leads to misery, damaging our mental health, our relationships and our hope for the future. And the most ironic part of it all? Many of us know this, yet we still prescribe to it. In this episode I share two of the most common ‘mistruths’ I've come across that keep so many of us distracted and miserable. Then I share 4 evidence-based practices you can implement immediately to be your ‘circuit breaker’, help you step off the hedonic treadmill and experience happiness, now. Research: • Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., Proulx, J., Lok, I., & Norton, M. I. (2020). Does spending money on others promote happiness?: A registered replication report. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(2), e15. • Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2014). Prosocial spending and happiness: Using money to benefit others pays off. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23(1), 41-47. • Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T., & Peterson, C. (2005). Empirical validation of interventions: Positive psychology progress. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421. Seppälä, E. M. M. A. (2016). Happiness Track. According to the American Institute of Stress (...), 48, 40. Monster Survey: • https://learnmore.monster.com/job-index-in-the-time-of-coronavirus Article Links: https://hbr.org/2015/08/the-research-is-clear-long-hours-backfire-for-people-and-for-companies https://hbr.org/2015/04/why-some-men-pretend-to-work-80-hour-weeks ______________________ 🚀FREE TRAINING– Career Clarity: https://www.shadezahrai.com/cct-registration To find out more about Shadé, visit the website: https://www.shadezahrai.com FOLLOW ON SOCIAL: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai/ • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shadezahraispeaker • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai

Dr. Shadé Zahraihost
May 22, 20227mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Work misery comes from flawed success beliefs and chronic overwork

  1. Work occupies roughly 91,000 hours for many people, making persistent job misery a major life cost worth addressing.
  2. A key cause of unhappiness is the success–happiness fallacy, where people postpone happiness until a future milestone that rarely delivers lasting fulfillment.
  3. Another major driver is overwork and “productivity guilt,” intensified by always-on digital connectivity, which reduces well-being without reliably increasing output or recognition.
  4. She recommends four practical interventions—emotional labeling, simplification, benefit-seeking gratitude, and service to others—to improve mood and mindset immediately.
  5. The core message is that attitude and expectations about success and happiness are controllable, enabling intentional change at work and in life.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Stop making happiness conditional on future achievements.

The “I’ll be happy when…” mindset fuels the arrival fallacy: you hit the goal, feel little change, then chase the next milestone, keeping fulfillment out of reach.

Overwork often backfires and doesn’t reliably improve visibility or output.

Research cited (HBR and Boston University) suggests long hours don’t necessarily increase productivity and managers may not distinguish extreme hours from reasonable ones, while stress undermines performance and health.

Replace self-judgment with emotional awareness and labeling.

Giving yourself permission to feel—including negative emotions—and naming them reduces amygdala reactivity and supports more rational, choiceful responses.

Simplify by doing less and focusing on one thing at a time.

Infomania and FOMO can create overload, procrastination, and constant consumption; prioritizing a single next step restores focus and helps you stay present in life outside work.

Actively train attention toward what’s going right.

Benefit seeking—such as writing down three good things daily—has evidence for increasing gratitude and happiness while reducing depressive symptoms over time.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Life is too short to be unhappy.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

That's a career that spans 44 years. If we assume a 40-hour working week, that's over 91,000 hours. That's a lot of hours to be miserable.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

This belief that we'll finally be happy when, fill in the blank, is a complete myth.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

Do you ever feel guilty when you're not productive? It actually has a name. It's called productivity guilt, and it's a mindset of feeling bad when you're not creating, achieving, producing, or working hard.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

You control your attitude. You control the expectations that you hold around success and happiness. It's up to you to make a difference.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

91,000-hour career perspectiveSuccess–happiness fallacyArrival fallacy and achievement treadmillAlways-on culture and overstressProductivity guiltEmotional labeling (“name it to tame it”)Simplifying, single-tasking, and infomania/FOMOBenefit seeking and “three good things” practiceService, generosity, and oxytocin ripple effect

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