Simon SinekWhat Is Your Team Afraid to Tell You? | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 3
Episode Details
EPISODE INFO
- Released
- July 28, 2026
- Duration
- 57m
- Channel
- Simon Sinek
- Watch on YouTube
- ▶ Open ↗
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
*Giving and receiving feedback is one of the hardest things we do at work and most of us just... avoid it.* But avoiding feedback has a cost. Everything you need to grow is already in the room and it's just sitting in your blind spot. Your colleagues can see it. Your boss can see it. And nobody will tell you, unless you learn to ask. *Feelings at Work* is a special five-part series from *A Bit of Optimism,* where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, Alex and Simon take on feedback: how to give it, how to take it, and how to ask for it. You’ll discover ways to give feedback people can actually hear, receive criticism without taking it personally, and build a feedback culture on any team. Alex and Simon share practical techniques like the one-word ritual Simon borrowed from the Air Force that made his whole company crave critiques, the “FBI” method for delivering hard feedback without blowing up relationships, and questions Alex asks her team to surface everything left unsaid, like "What are you afraid to tell me?" *In this episode you'll learn:* ➡️ Why we avoid giving feedback + what that avoidance quietly costs our teams ➡️ "Spears": the Air Force ritual that turns criticism into something people actually want ➡️ The “FBI” (Feelings, Behavior, Impact) method for giving feedback people can actually hear ➡️ The Army Rangers' peer assessment’s "foxhole question" + what it reveals about character ➡️ How to think of feedback as preventative care and build that muscle ➡️ Why everyone receives feedback differently (+ how to give people what they need) ➡️ When to give feedback (hint: never the moment you think of it) ➡️ The four-word habit that builds a thick skin: "What can I do better?" Whether you're leading a team, managing up, or just tired of side-texting about a problem no one will name out loud, feedback is one of the most valuable skills you can build. And remember: feedback is kind, even when it’s not nice. *This... is A Bit of Optimism.* + + + *CHAPTERS* 00:00 The Spinach in Your Teeth Problem: Why We Avoid Giving Feedback 02:33 The Feedback Technique That Changed Everything 03:26 What to Do When Feedback Goes Wrong 06:08 What a Strong Feedback Culture Looks Like 08:05 The "Nice" Company That Was Actually Cruel: Feedback Avoidance 10:35 The Army Rangers' Three-Level Evaluation System 14:24 Why Giving Feedback Feels So Hard 16:46 Spears: The Culture-Changing Feedback Mechanism 22:28 FBI: The Three-Part Formula for Giving Difficult Feedback 27:16 Recognition Languages: How Different People Want to Be Celebrated 34:10 How to Schedule Feedback into Your Routine 39:52 The Collaboration Meeting: Preventing Problems Before They Start 42:34 The Air Force Commander Who Learned When NOT to Give Feedback 49:08 Building the Feedback Muscle: From Painful to Empowering 52:57 One Simple Question: What Can I Do Better? + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + + *About Alex Simon* Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created *The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice,* one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.
SPEAKERS
Alex Simon
hostLeadership and workplace-culture practitioner who teaches emotional intelligence at Yale and discusses building feedback systems in teams.
Simon Sinek
hostAuthor and leadership speaker; host of A Bit of Optimism with Simon Sinek.
EPISODE SUMMARY
In this episode of Simon Sinek, featuring Alex Simon and Simon Sinek, What Is Your Team Afraid to Tell You? | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 3 explores build a feedback culture with spears, FBI, and better timing They frame feedback avoidance as the “spinach in your teeth” problem—teams vent sideways instead of telling the person who can actually fix the issue.
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