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What Now? With Trevor NoahIf You Ruled the World: Listener Grab Bag | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast
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Chapter summaries
Thanksgiving Intro and the Listener Edition Setup
Trevor explains the If I Ruled the World game and introduces a listener-submitted edition with Christiana and Josh. He then shares his thoughts on keeping holiday table conversations connecting rather than divisive.
- •Rules of the game: pitch a change, make your case, and the group votes
- •Listener suggestions will be judged by Trevor, Christiana and Josh
- •Trevor says South African family gatherings began with shared memories rather than politics
- •Starting with fond memories connects people and leaves less room for divisive politics
- •He suggests asking parents for funny or embarrassing stories from your childhood
Airplane Boarding and Wi-Fi on Planes
The panel debates boarding planes back to front and removing in-flight Wi-Fi. They disagree on Wi-Fi, and Trevor describes the more complicated boarding method he has heard is actually best.
- •Business-class flyers like boarding late and spending more time in the lounge
- •Christiana wants Wi-Fi to scroll social media and use the family WhatsApp group
- •Trevor likes being unreachable on a plane and mentions Justine Sacco
- •Josh argues back-to-front boarding would avoid the current chaos over seats and space
- •Trevor says the best method alternates rows and sides, but it's impractical, so the idea is voted down
Letting Employees Vote for Their Bosses
The panel rejects choosing bosses by employee vote, as likability doesn't equal effectiveness. One panelist proposes radical salary transparency and voting on pay, which Trevor says would cause murders.
- •Being likable doesn't make someone an effective boss
- •A boss who never says no to PTO could bankrupt the company
- •Josh proposes full salary transparency and voting on others' salaries
- •Trevor jokes it would create an office of murderers and many true-crime documentaries
- •The proposal gets two nos and one yes and is rejected
Banning Single-Ply Toilet Paper
The proposal to ban single-ply toilet paper sparks a heated argument. Trevor recalls using newspaper and his hand and compares one-ply to flying coach. The idea loses two to one.
- •One panelist would rather have no toilet paper than see-through one-ply
- •Trevor says he wiped with newspaper for years and calls the opinion first-world
- •He compares one-ply to flying coach: the least good option, but still better than the alternatives
- •Christiana votes no, thinking one-ply is better for the planet since it uses less paper
- •The ban is voted down
High Schools Starting No Earlier Than 9:00 AM
A later high school start time becomes the first idea to pass. The panel discusses teenagers' sleep needs, pre-school extracurriculars and Quiz Bowl. Trevor calls it responsible but not very creative.
- •Teenagers need a great deal of sleep for their brains and bodies
- •Tired students are taught and tested, then fail and move on to harder material
- •Josh explains Quiz Bowl, which he did before school at 7:00
- •Trevor argues extracurriculars shouldn't come before the regular school day
- •The idea passes with yes votes all around
Everyone Shadowing a Service Employee Monthly
The panel first debates what shadowing means, with Josh describing doing a mini version of the job. They question the proposal's goal of building empathy and vote it down.
- •Josh's idea of shadowing involved doing the work, which Trevor calls unpaid work
- •Shadowing means observing the person do the job
- •The proposal aims to build empathy for service workers
- •Watching someone work up close might reduce empathy because the job looks easy
- •All three vote no
Soundproof Public Toilet Stalls
The final suggestion would make all toilet stalls soundproof. Trevor opposes it, arguing the sounds are part of the shared experience, and panelists share stories about asking for toilet paper. Gossip and camaraderie in the ladies' room sway the others to vote no.
- •Trevor argues a silent public toilet would be creepy and isolating
- •Someone who fell in a stall was only helped because the others could hear
- •Trevor and another panelist recount getting toilet paper from strangers
- •Christiana changes her vote to no because she values the gossip heard in ladies' rooms
- •The proposal is unanimously rejected
Wrap-Up and Listener Invitation
Trevor recaps that only the 9:00 AM school start passed and jokes that listeners focus on toilets. He invites more submissions by email or voice memo and wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving.
- •Only the later high school start time was approved
- •The panel jokes about the toilet-heavy proposals and says people don't think big enough
- •Listeners can email whatnow@dayzeroproductions.com with comments and ideas
- •Trevor encourages sending voice memos with name and location so they can be played on air
- •He closes with a Thanksgiving wish about smooth boarding and two-ply toilet paper
