FBI’s Top Hostage Negotiator: The Art Of Negotiating To Get Whatever You Want: Chris Voss | E147

Two of the three remaining hostages were killed, and they were shot by friendly fire. That was the first time that I'd worked anything where people had gotten killed. (music) Former FBI kidnapping negotiator.

Best-selling co-author, and the founder and principal of the Black Swan Group.

I'm Chris Voss.

How important is it generally in negotiations to listen?

Whether it's business or law enforcement, if I take the time to, to really hear somebody out in our first deal, then every deal after that will come to me faster. It's critical.

I'm so compelled to ask you, like, what is the cost that we don't get to see of your job?

You know, you get, you get really wrapped up in your work, and I think you tend to become distant in your personal life. The closer you are to someone, sometimes you just... It's really harder for you to see things from their perspective. The truth sometimes is a knife to the heart, right? Like, you go through a traumatic event. Are you traumatized by it, then never recover? Or is there post-traumatic stress growth, where you took that and decided to be better than you ever were before because you never wanna let that happen again?

So without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO, USA Edition. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. (music) Chris, you've lived a extraordinary life for many, many reasons, which I'm sure we're gonna go into. But, um, I guess my first question is, what do I need to know about your upbringing, your early years, if I am to understand the man you are today?

I, uh, I think really that my father just required that, that we work hard and that we figure stuff out. Like, my father was an entrepreneur. And then no matter how old you are, even... And I started working for him probably when I was about 11, but the downside of working for a guy that would never ask you to do anything he wouldn't do himself, if there isn't anything that he wouldn't do himself just 'cause it needed to be done, then, like, you get asked to figure out some crazy stuff. Like, you know, middle, middle-class entrepreneur, you know, little- blue, blue-collar, you know, guy. And I remember, I think I was about 11, he decided he wanted a, a new garage in the backyard, and we had to get rid of the old garage. And, you know, he handed me and my 13-year-old sister crowbars and said, "Go out and tear down the old garage." (laughs)

Hmm.

So you just gotta, you know, you just gotta figure stuff out. And so I really grew up in an environment of working really hard. It, he never preached to us ethics, but we were, you know, very ethical, you know, honest, hardworking, and figure stuff out, which is, if that's your attitude, there isn't that much you can't do. And that was kind of drilled into me at an early age. Figure it out, work hard, be honest.