The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck: Mark Manson | E111

I always felt like an outcast. I was bullied. My big goal in life was like, I want to be a best-selling author. And then it happens, and it really fucked with me. (dramatic music) We're wired to want status. We're wired to want to be beautiful and sexy and to want to impress others. Like, that's never going to go away. The question is, is like, what do you want once that is kind of removed from the equation? (dramatic music) You can always choose in every moment to see things in a way that, that makes you feel better. It's not easy. It's actually really, really hard, but in that sense, happiness can be a choice. It's just a question of do you know how to access it? (music)

Mark Manson, the author of one of the best-selling self-development books of the decade, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I read this book many, many years ago, and I learned so much from it. So when they told me that Mark Manson was in London, we got in touch with him quickly, and I think this conversation is going to prove why. He is one of the most wise, honest, open individuals I have ever met, and one of the most remarkable things he says in this conversation was this smash hit book, which has sold more than 10 million copies, and I know you've seen everywhere, when that became a success, he lost orientation in his life. Mark's complete story, the story you've probably never heard, is immense. He used to be a pickup artist. He then became an entrepreneur, which led him to become a blogger, which led him to become an author, and he draws on all of those experiences in one of the most self-aware ways I've ever seen on this podcast to deliver actionable insights to live a better life. He's a guest that you requested time and time again, and I'm so glad you did. So without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. (music) Mark, take me back to Austin, Texas in the 1980s-ish time when you were born.

Oh, God. (laughs)

What was life l- what, what was life like for you?

I mean, when I was really young, it was, it was nice. You know, so I grew, I grew up, I had a very kind of conventional suburban American childhood, um, especially when I was younger. You know, so, um, I had the house with the yard and all the kids on the street and, you know, playing soccer and, or football or whatever. Um, so, so that was nice. I think, um, where things started to kind of go off the rails, so to speak, um, when, you know, when you start hitting that age, 11, 12, 13, and you s- you start, your brain develops a little more and you, you start becoming a little bit more aware of, um, norms, and, and culture, and people's expectations of you, and things like that. Um, I grew up in a very, I grew up in the American South, um, so I grew up very religious, very conservative, uh, and I'm neither of those things. (laughs)