Simon Sinek: "I FEEL LONELY!" How To Deal With Loneliness! | E230

When my friends are struggling, I don't say, "Take your time." When my friends are struggling, I say, "Go on." When my friends are crying, I say, "Go on." I live my life by that code. He's back! Simon Sinek.

Leadership and communication expert.

Author. TED speaker. His unconventional views have made him one of the most sought-after speakers on the planet.

There's no one quite like him. Simon, how are you doing?

I am actually feeling quite lonely. I'm struggling to communicate or present myself in a way that people will get who I am. Feel like nobody can help you, and the first thing that a lot of us should do is reach out to a friend and say, "I'm struggling." You should never cry alone. We live in a world where most people are ill-equipped on how to be there for a friend who's struggling. The first mistake people make is they try and fix. Don't need them to fix me, I just need them to sit in the mud with me so I don't feel alone when I'm sitting in the mud. The fact that it's such a loud conversation about mental health is a spotlight on the fact that we do not know how to build deep, meaningful relationships. But the way I manage it, which is different than most, is I... You know? I wish I had these skills 10 years ago.

Is the design of the modern world making it more difficult for us to find love and to keep it?

The problem with it is, is it's, grass is always greener because it's so easy to just go swiping. Something's out of balance and as, I, I, I'm gonna say this over and over and over again, which is successful relationships are

Simon, congratulations, you are the Diary of a CEO record holder.

(laughs)

You've been (laughs) invited back more than any other guest and it's not for, it's for a very, very good reason which is that your episodes are always the most adored that we have on this, on this podcast. They are, um, the two episodes, the conversations we've had are both in the top 10 of all time on the show and I always feel after our conversations end that they could've gone on longer, so (laughs) here we are. Um-

Well, thanks for having me back. I enjoy coming.

My first question for you today is, and I, you know, this question's often asked quite flippantly, but I wanna, I'd really like the real answer which is, how are you doing?

Um, you know, I think when somebody says, "Fine," they're lying. (laughs)

(laughs)

And so my instinct is to say, "I'm fine."

(laughs)

Um, I am going through, uh, I'm going through some ups and downs. Um, I'm in a period of, uh, flux which doesn't, which is fine. That, that genuinely is good. Um, I like a little bit of chaos in my life. It's where creativity comes from and if I look back at my career, you know, I would take a job, I'd have a fast-moving career, it'd get to a, a great point, it would plateau and then I'd quit. And I'm sort of at that point. You know? Um, I love a steep learning curve. I love a difficult situation and I like trying something new and building something. And, um, so there's, I'm, I'm shifting away from in-person public speaking which I think surprises a lot of people. Um, but recognize that I never considered myself a public speaker in the first place. It's just something I did to advance my cause, it was never my chosen career, so not doing it, as much as I enjoy it and as, and I know, uh, is f- is not that difficult. So what next is a little bit of an unknown. I have some ideas and I'm testing some things out, but I don't actually know where I'm gonna go.