Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Your Sex Will Feel Brand New!
Susan Bratton (guest), Steven Bartlett (host), Narrator, Narrator, Guest questioner (Eliza) (guest), Guest questioner (male audience member) (guest), Guest questioner (male audience member) (guest)
In this episode of The Diary of a CEO, featuring Susan Bratton and Steven Bartlett, Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Your Sex Will Feel Brand New! explores transform Your Sex Life: Slow Down, Communicate, Explore Twenty-Plus Orgasms Sex expert Susan Bratton explains how most people’s sex lives suffer from lack of knowledge, rushed intercourse, shame, and poor communication, not from being ‘broken’.
Transform Your Sex Life: Slow Down, Communicate, Explore Twenty-Plus Orgasms
Sex expert Susan Bratton explains how most people’s sex lives suffer from lack of knowledge, rushed intercourse, shame, and poor communication, not from being ‘broken’.
Drawing on her own journey from a sexless, trauma-laced marriage to a multi-decade open relationship, she lays out practical frameworks: heart-connected lovemaking, the ‘sex life bucket list’, erotic playdates, and techniques that enable 20+ kinds of orgasms and expanded, hour-long pleasure.
She emphasizes key differences in male vs female arousal timelines, the importance of slow yoni massage and full-body engorgement, and the role of safety plus novelty in sustaining desire long-term.
Throughout, she offers concrete scripts and practices for couples who feel like ‘ships passing in the night’, are stuck in sexual routine, or grappling with performance anxiety, body image, porn, or non-monogamy.
Key Takeaways
Slow Down: Female Arousal Needs 20+ Minutes of Warm-Up
Bratton explains that men can become erect in 1–2 minutes because of straight ‘blood chutes’ in the penis, but women have the same amount of erectile tissue distributed around the vulva and vagina (clitoral bulbs, legs, shaft, sponges). ...
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Redefine Sex Beyond “Foreplay” and Intercourse
The foreplay/sex split comes from a procreation-only, religious model where only penetration ‘counts’. ...
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Use Communication Pacts and ‘Small Offers’ to Rebuild Intimacy
For couples like Eliza and her husband who feel like ships passing in the night, Bratton recommends starting with holding each other, not with sex. ...
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Safety + Novelty = Sustained Desire
Bratton frames good sex as an equation: half safety and security (trust, STI safety, emotional safety, reliability), half variety and novelty (new positions, locations, toys, fantasies, partners if consensually non-monogamous). ...
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Healing Trauma and Dissociation Unlocks Deeper Connection
Bratton describes how childhood sexual trauma led her to dissociate during sex—‘checking out’ emotionally while going through the motions physically. ...
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Performance Anxiety and “Premature Ejaculation” Are Trainable, Not Fixed
For men like Kit who climax in 2–3 minutes and worry their partners are faking enjoyment, Bratton recommends body-based training for ejaculatory choice. ...
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Radical Honesty and Optional Non-Monogamy Can Save (and Evolve) Relationships
When Bratton and her husband Tim hit a sexless plateau, he began seeing another woman in a sexless marriage. ...
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Notable Quotes
“If something isn’t good, you just haven’t had it good yet.”
— Susan Bratton
“Sex is an equation: half safety and security, half variety and novelty.”
— Susan Bratton
“We were the blind leading the blind. Everybody’s the blind leading the blind.”
— Susan Bratton
“Foreplay and sex is a myth. Sex is everything—kissing, touching, talking, toys, all of it.”
— Susan Bratton
“That’s why sex is repressed—because if you felt God in your lovemaking, why would you need to go to God in a church?”
— Susan Bratton
Questions Answered in This Episode
You describe expanded orgasms as a pathway to ‘touching source’—what concrete, step-by-step practice would you recommend a couple try this week to begin moving from single orgasms to extended and then expanded states?
Sex expert Susan Bratton explains how most people’s sex lives suffer from lack of knowledge, rushed intercourse, shame, and poor communication, not from being ‘broken’.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
For someone in a long-term monogamous relationship who is curious about ethical non-monogamy but whose partner is resistant, what exact language and sequencing of conversations would you suggest so that curiosity doesn’t feel like a rejection of the current bond?
Drawing on her own journey from a sexless, trauma-laced marriage to a multi-decade open relationship, she lays out practical frameworks: heart-connected lovemaking, the ‘sex life bucket list’, erotic playdates, and techniques that enable 20+ kinds of orgasms and expanded, hour-long pleasure.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
In situations like Ethan’s, where a partner insists on the same position, time, and conditions every week, how do you distinguish between healthy respect for their nervous system and enabling an increasingly rigid, fear-based sexual pattern?
She emphasizes key differences in male vs female arousal timelines, the importance of slow yoni massage and full-body engorgement, and the role of safety plus novelty in sustaining desire long-term.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
You argue that porn often models degrading, friction-only sex; if a couple wants to use visual erotica as part of their sex life, what specific criteria or examples would you give them for selecting content that reinforces the heart-connected, passionate lovemaking you advocate?
Throughout, she offers concrete scripts and practices for couples who feel like ‘ships passing in the night’, are stuck in sexual routine, or grappling with performance anxiety, body image, porn, or non-monogamy.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Many men feel that suggesting toys or new techniques implies their partner is ‘not enough’ or that they themselves are inadequate—what are three scripts men (and women) can use to introduce toys or your sex life bucket list in a way that frames it as a shared adventure rather than a critique?
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Transcript Preview
(instrumental music plays) Nobody even knows there's over 20 kinds of orgasms that you can have. There's... Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. That's a one-and-done. But then there's... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, oh. Oh, oh, oh (censored) . That's the queen of orgasms and to achieve that, there are very specific techniques that work, and it's not what you see on porn.
Dr. Susan Bratton is a world-renowned sex specialist and best-selling author of over 30 books and programs.
And for over two decades, her expertise has empowered millions to master pleasuring techniques, bedroom communication, and unlock their true sexual potential.
Why did you focus on sex as a career?
Well, I was 12 years into our marriage. We had a beautiful daughter, gorgeous home, but I never had an orgasm from intercourse, and we thought there was something wrong with me. But this is not unique. So many of us have had problems with sex. And once we got some skills, it just, pooh, lit our sex life on fire. So here are 48 of my best sex techniques. Number one... Number two, you have to... Number three, it's something that I love to teach men. And then there's these toys that I wanna show you.
What is that?
This is a device that no one's ever seen before. (drum roll)
Wow.
Doesn't that feel so good?
Susan, this is the first time we've ever done this. We reached out to some of our audience to send us their questions.
Okay, let's unpack this. And let's start with... (music stops)
This has always blown my mind a little bit. 53% of you that listen to this show regularly haven't yet subscribed to this show. So could I ask you for a favor before we start? If you like this show and you like what we do here and you wanna support us, the free, simple way that you can do just that is by hitting the subscribe button. And my commitment to you is, if you do that, then I'll do everything in my power, me and my team, to make sure that this show is better for you every single week. We'll listen to your feedback, we'll find the guests that you want me to speak to, and we'll continue to do what we do. Thank you so much. (instrumental music plays) Susan, what do you do and why do you do it?
Well, I teach passionate lovemaking techniques by publishing books and programs and audios, and, uh, I do it because my passion is passion. Uh, I like to say that, uh, my brand of sexual education is heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking, which is very different than transactional sex or sex that looks like pornography.
If, if someone comes to you and they say, "I'm struggling with my sex life in some way," or, "I'm not at my sexual potential. What can you do for me?" How would you answer that question?
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