Chris Kamara: The Untold Heartbreaking Story Of A Football Legend!

Every day I wake up, the first thing I think, "Am I gonna be able to talk today?" There's been a red card, but for who, Chris Kamara? I don't know, Geoff Hazlett. One of Britain's best-loved football pundits- (buzzer) It's been a cracker, Geoff. You beauty! (laughs) Unbelievable, Geoff. What a cracking game! As a young Black kid, thinking that one day I'll play for Middlesbrough and for Leeds, ambition and dream achieved.

The story of your mother I found really difficult to read.

It was difficult in those days. Men, uh, were physical towards women. I made the mistake of telling my dad on his deathbed that it was wrong. I should've kept it to myself, hmm.

Why?

(sighs)

For someone that has never experienced apraxia, what does it feel like for you in your head?

I feel a fraud now in terms of broadcasting.

You feel a fraud?

Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. I was gonna quit everything.

Without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is The Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. Chris, what do I need to know about your earliest years to understand the man that you are today?

(smacks lips) Ooh. (sighs) I don't know really. Um, my childhood is slightly clouded, um, so I wouldn't change anything, 'cause you can't change the course of history, but life was difficult growing up, very difficult. Um, so, yeah, uh, I d- I wouldn't change anything, to be honest, yeah.

When you say clouded...

Well, good days, bad days. We had, uh, terrible racism at the time, uh, when I was growing up. I was born in '57, so in the '60s it wasn't good. We were the only Black family on our estate, so anything happened and the police would come knocking on our door, take our dad away and he'd have to get cleared and come home and it, the whole process would start again. "It's that Black family there who are causing all the problems." And occasionally, uh, not all the time, my dad w- liked to bet, so he would, on a Thursday, he, when he got paid, they got paid in cash then, brown envelopes, uh, would occasionally go to the bookies, and so we'd end up, you know, struggling for food. So, it's clouded in those ways. Um, I'm looking through those clouds now, but, you know, uh, thinking it didn't do me any harm. But it happened, you know?

Your, your mother and your father's relationship?

Uh, Mum was the most loyal wife you could ever have. Absolutely. Even if her and Dad had arguments or fights or whatever, she would vehemently stick up for him, you know, when anybody called him, you know, the N-word was vibrant back in those days, and, you know... I hear these stories now that it's impossible to understand, uh, racism if you're not Black. It's not true. It's totally not true. My mum got called a N-lover, uh, throughout, you know, the '60s, when I was aware of it, uh, and she came through it, so she knew exactly what racism was about. Hmm.