The Rise, The Fall & The Rebuild Of True Geordie | E87

... feel like I'm struggling to breathe. It blew my fucking mind. I don't know whose dick I've gotta suck to get fucking respect round here.

True Geordie went through incredible adversity to get to where he is today: depression, anxiety. And he's one of the few people that's willing to tell you about it.

My ego was just going fucking crazy. "I'm the man." All the worst parts of me amplified. It was, it was better than a drug. It was better than anything. It was like, "Wow." I would have carried on doing that, probably, if I hadn't have had a moment of like, boom. It just felt like everything I'd been building to had been, like, really, like, fucked up. I know I needed humbled, but it was brutal. I literally wanted to kill myself, like. You know, I really, really did. When you love someone more than anything else in this world, that matters more than anything. And where others would have capitalized on a sob story, she was far too precious for me to share. She was mine. She wasn't there for anyone else. She was just my mum. And I miss her every fucking day, bro. But once you give it, there's no taking it back. The day I don't need money anymore, that's gonna be a scary day for the rest of me. And I... I don't, I don't wanna let the fans down and, and I don't wanna stop doing what they, they love me for, but...

True Geordie, Brian. He's one of the real pioneers in the YouTube space. He runs one of the biggest football shows, the biggest podcasts, the biggest boxing shows, and much, much more. But he is, at heart, not the guy you see on screen. He is a gentle giant, one born in a council estate who went through incredible adversity to get to where he is today. Billions of views. His conversations seem to sway cultural conversation, but he's still not getting what he deserves, in his opinion and in mine. When you see True Geordie, what you see is this big, six-foot-five guy with tattoos and huge muscles. But when you peel the layers back, you find the total opposite. You find a small kid in there, one that's still living in the council estate in his mind, and one that's missing his mother after her tragic death a few years ago. He's been to rock bottom: depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. And he's one of the few people that's willing to tell you about it, and tell you about it with full honesty and vulnerability. I've known Brian a long time, and I've been so fascinated by him because he appears to be this contradiction. He appears to be someone that does not give a eff, but at the same time, he's incredibly, incredibly sensitive. To me, he's the ultimate reminder that we are all a contradiction, and that you should never judge a book by its cover. What you're gonna hear today are some stories that Brian has never told, stories that will move you, some that might move you to tears, but also stories that will inspire you and teach you some important life lessons about what it really is to be a human being, scars and all. Without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. How would you define and describe the rise of True Geordie? And when I say that, I'm talking about ... Take me back-