World Leading Life Coach: 3 Steps To Figuring Out ANYTHING You Want: Marie Forleo | E184

The most game-changing work that I've ever done is... (tense music)

Marie launched a multimillion-dollar life coaching business. Star of the award-winning Marie TV... An international best-selling author...

Can I get a "woo woo"?

Marie Forleo.

Track your time meticulously for seven days. You will be shocked at how much time flitters away that don't create a ton of value for you, and you'll get an idea, like, "I would have never thought of that" if your face was stuck in Netflix or TikTok for, you know, the seven hours a day that you're not working.

Your book is full of solutions to the most important challenges. What are you struggling with?

I'm someone who has ADHD, so I can have a very overactive brain. Well, I found myself over-performing and overworking, wanting to control everything so I could have a sense of safety. That's where the real cost came in for me. I started dreading waking up in the morning. Like, "I wish I could just disappear." Like...

Wow.

Yeah. See, these were scary thoughts, and it almost destroyed my relationship.

In the book, you talk about these three rules that underpin this figureoutable mindset.

Yes, and it's just helped me in every different facet: my relationships, my mental health, my business.

What are those?

So rule number one is that... Rule number two... Rule number three...

That's super important-

Yes.

... point number three. It's the one we don't talk about.

You have to be willing to just... (music stops)

Before this conversation starts, I've got a favor to ask from you. 74% of people that watch this podcast frequently haven't yet hit the subscribe button, and 9% of people haven't yet hit the bell to turn notifications on. The bigger this platform gets, the bigger the guests get. So if you could do me one favor, if you've ever enjoyed this podcast, please hit the subscribe button and turn notifications on. Without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. (upbeat music) Marie, when I was reading your book, you talk about how experience is one of the things that ends up shaping the beliefs we have in the world.

Yes.

What were the experiences that you had at the very earliest of ages that end up shaping the beliefs you had about the world?

One of the biggest ones was actually a memory I had when I was about seven or eight years old. So my parents had just gotten a divorce, and I remember being in the kitchen in my house in New Jersey with my mom, and I'm looking at her. And she has one of the old school phones with a cord, like, wrapped around her hand, and it was wrapped around so tight that her hand was kind of turning white 'cause she was cutting off the circulation. And she was on the phone with her mother, who was in Florida at the time, and she was crying unconsolably. And I'm watching my mom with tears running down her face, and her... everything looked drawn, and she was saying, "I have nothing. I have nothing. Do you understand? I have nothing. I don't know what I'm gonna do." And so, you know, there's tears coming down, and I'm just frozen in fear. She hangs up the phone, and she bends down, and I just see, like, her makeup running down her face and the tears running down her face, and she puts her hands on my shoulders, and she puts her face right next to mine up to my nose, and she shakes me. And she says, "Do you see what I'm going through right now? I have nothing. Do not be stupid like I was. Don't ever let a man, don't ever let anyone control your money. I need you to grow up. I need you to be your own woman. I need you to be independent. Don't be stupid like me." And Steven, I was just, like, you know, as a seven or eight year old, like, in shock. Of course, I love my dad, my dad's an amazing man, and I love my mom. And that experience, like, in a few seconds, I made all of these equations in my mind, and I made all these decisions, and I made all these promises to myself, and I'll tell you what those were. One of the decisions was that the lack of having enough money equaled the loss of love, the destruction of family, and so much pain and suffering. Like, seeing my mom in pain, knowing my dad wasn't there, knowing my family us- unit wasn't okay, and I just... everything felt unsafe. And I made this promise and this decision, I said, "Okay, when I grow up, I'm gonna somehow make so much money that I am going to take care of the people I love, and if anyone around me needs money to s- to, to handle the pain, I'm gonna be able to take care of them." Now looking back, I'm in my 40s now, I can see how much that fear and how much that desire to have love be healed has driven almost every part of my career.