Fearne Cotton: THIS Is How To Build Confidence & Set Yourself Free | E116

I wanted to be liked, and I wanted people to think I was interesting, and so I had to pretend. And the voice in my head, this ego, kept saying I'm a piece of shit. That I still really have a problem with, and I've got to get better at. When you're in that headspace, not much makes sense anymore, and you have to start questioning everything. Otherwise, you just get stuck. The new path that I've forged, which isn't necessarily as mainstream and isn't as shiny or celebrated or whatever, but I can be truly me, and there's room to move, and there's room to change. It feels liberating.

Quick one. Can you do me a favor if you're listening to this and hit the subscribe button, the follow button, wherever you're listening to this podcast? Thank you so much. Fearne Cotton. To me, she's the definition of authenticity, and she absolutely exudes self-awareness and wisdom because she's spent the last 10, 20 years understanding herself. She went through this remarkable journey of entering the public spotlight at just 15 years old, where she started working on TV. And up until her 30s, where she worked on BBC's Radio One, she remained front and center in British media. But behind the scenes, something else was going on, feeling like she wasn't being true to herself, and she was living someone else's life, like she was wearing a mask. It all came to a head in her early 30s, where she realized that something had to change. If her panic attacks and her depression was to end, she had to make big life changes, and this meant leaving her job and pursuing a completely different, uncertain, unknown path. Her story is remarkable, but this conversation was so incredibly valuable because Fearne is wise. She's done the work. And as she sits here today, she's able to tell us, to tell me, to tell you, the listener, how to avoid making some of the mistakes that she made in her life so that we can all get to our own very happy place. Without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is The Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. (upbeat music) Fearne, I... One of the things that I got from reading about you, reading about, um, your story and reading your books was how self-analytical and self-aware you've become as the years have gone by, and it's pretty much central to a lot of what you do is, is really understanding yourself, having these conversations on Happy Place, and understanding others, which becomes a bit of a mirror sometimes when you have a, a podcast. So, when you look back at the, the start of your life, what were the things that were really formative to you that you've noticed in hindsight?

I guess like most people, it's my parents and their work ethic and their outlook on life, and they're very, very different people. So, I've picked up very different things from both of them. So, my mum is tenacious, very honest. She gets things done. She's been very dynamic over the years, but her work ethic has been amazing. Like, when I was growing up, she had anywhere between one and four jobs at any one time, having to just sort of juggle life and get money on the table. So, I had that sort of, like, tenacious force in my life. But and then I also had my dad, who's so laid back, really super chilled, super creative. He only retired a couple of years ago, although he's sort of started working again. But he was a sign writer throughout his whole working life. So, I would go and watch him paint these beautiful signs by hand, obviously back in the day, and he was always drawing and painting at home, and I would do the same. So, I've always had a huge love of, of art and creating. And my dad's a really good storyteller, and he's very funny. And my mum's really social and really brilliant at talking to people. So, I, I kind of just observed them. You know, I wasn't actively doing it as a kid, but by osmosis, you, you take in all of this information and, and just what you're seeing as a, as a child growing up. So, I have my mum and dad to thank for everything really. You know, they, they gave me the sort of stability and love to do what I wanted, but also they showed me work ethic, which I've always really held on tight to, because I wanna do well, and I'm not scared to say that. I, I want to, to succeed and do well in what I'm doing, and I know that requires a lot of work.