The Love Expert: Why Women Are Addicted To Toxic Men,"Have A Boring Relationship Instead!" Logan Ury

Most people want to find love. But the truth is, you think you know what you want, but you're wrong. But there's a lot of great relationship science out there, and this might be the number one thing that I want people to take away. So if you're-

Logan Ury. Hinge's dating scientist from Harvard. She's renowned for her data-driven approach- To help millions of people find love.

Big things in my work are fuck the spark, the post-date eight, and the three dating tendencies. So let's go through that. The spark is this idea that we go after initial chemistry, the fireworks, but the spark often leads to relationships that burn out. Fuck the spark. The post-date eight are eight questions to ask yourself after a date, training your brain to a new way of dating. And finally, most people suffer from one of these three dating tendencies, and that's what's holding them back from finding love.

And can you change it?

Yeah. So the first type is Ditch Me. People in great relationships have made a bunch of good choices, and the truth is, the person that ends up making them happy in the long term is very rarely who they thought they should be with. If you are single and you don't want to be, at some point you have to realize, you are choosing a set of problems. Why do I keep falling for dickheads? Or people often confuse pet peeves, the ick, for deal breakers. Like, "He has a Velcro wallet."

(laughs)

I can buy you a new fucking wallet. And they say to me, like, "I don't want to meet on an app, it's not romantic," but the number one way that couples are meeting is online. And so, because I want to help so many people find love, these are the top tricks for a great Hinge profile. First of all, your bio.

I think this is fascinating. I looked at the back end of our YouTube channel, and it says that since this channel started, 69.9% of you that watch it frequently haven't yet hit the subscribe button. So, I have a favor to ask you. If you've ever watched this channel and enjoyed the content, if you're enjoying this episode right now, please, could I ask a small favor? Please hit the subscribe button. Helps this channel more than I can explain, and I promise, if you do that, to return the favor, we will make this show better, and better, and better, and better, and better. That's a promise I'm willing to make you if you hit the subscribe button. Do we have a deal? Logan, why does your work matter?

My work matters because most people, almost everyone, wants to find love, and it's really hard. And I meet people and I see how badly they want it, I see how long they've been trying to get it, and they're getting in their own way. And so, I do the work that I do because I want to help people understand the blind spots that are holding them back from finding love, and I want to help them get out of their own way, develop new patterns, new habits, and find love.