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ADHD Chatter PodcastADHD Chatter Podcast

Rox Pink (ADHD LOVE) confronts psychologist over childhood trauma

Rox Pink, one half of ADHD Love, is back! …but this time, she’s joined by renowned psychologist Jo Perkins to dissect her ADHD and help understand the root of her complex behaviours.

Dr. Jo PerkinsguestAlex Partridgehost
Jan 7, 20252h 0mWatch on YouTube

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At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

ADHD, trauma, masking, and validation—Rox and Dr. Perkins unpack

  1. The host, Alex Partridge, and psychologist Dr. Jo Perkins discuss why ADHD can look “obvious” in some settings but may be hidden by masking and context.
  2. Dr. Jo Perkins and Roxanne Pink explore how lifelong negative messaging can fuel low self-worth, difficulty receiving compliments, and imposter-syndrome-style explanations for success.
  3. The conversation tackles the trauma–ADHD debate, with Roxanne Pink rejecting a simple “trauma caused ADHD” story while Dr. Jo Perkins describes how repeated invalidation and hypervigilance can be experienced as trauma.
  4. Roxanne Pink describes family dynamics—especially her relationship with her father—and how seeking withheld validation shaped people-pleasing, self-silencing, and later patterns of self-destruction and recovery.
  5. They cover ADHD-linked experiences including creativity as a survival mechanism, the neuroscience and unpredictability of hyperfocus, misdiagnoses (like anxiety disorders), masking costs, and relationship misunderstandings such as RSD.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

ADHD can look “obvious” in some contexts, but visibility depends on masking and situation.

Dr. Jo Perkins says it’s hard to call ADHD “obvious” outside an assessment setting because context and masking matter, and people may show more signs when anxious and unguarded.

Many “tell-tale signs” of ADHD are patterns of behavior rather than single traits.

Dr. Jo Perkins describes common patterns that can show up in ADHD (while noting they’re not exclusive): starting conversations abruptly, fidgeting, chronic lateness/fluster, people-pleasing, high empathy, and strong sensitivity to others’ needs.

Difficulty accepting compliments is linked to internalized negative narratives and self-esteem wounds.

Dr. Jo Perkins explains that repeated negative messaging across life can make compliments feel uncomfortable or unbelievable, leading people to dismiss achievements as flukes or “obvious.” Roxanne Pink describes using self-degradation to “even the scale” after praise and intentionally changing her language to stop bullying herself.

The episode treats trauma as often intertwined with ADHD—frequently as a consequence of lived experience, not a simple cause.

Roxanne Pink says she wouldn’t claim trauma caused her ADHD, but describes being a sensitive child in a non-sensitive household and carrying deep scars. Dr. Jo Perkins frames trauma as something that can arise from living with ADHD in an invalidating environment, including chronic hypervigilance and “not good enough” messaging.

Withheld parental validation can lock someone into lifelong “chasing” patterns that affect identity, relationships, and coping.

Roxanne Pink shares how her drive to please her emotionally withdrawn father shaped her behavior and self-worth, including chasing validation through achievement and later through self-destruction. Dr. Jo Perkins explains how pursuing withheld validation can become a powerful loop, reinforced by occasional “reward” moments.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Anyone with ADHD will know, the amount of negative messages someone receives across their lifespan, it kind of makes sense that you don't believe the compliment, let's say.

— Dr. Jo Perkins

Well, first of all, the thing about just growing up with the negative messages... you just believe you're a piece of shit.

— Unattributed

I've been silenced for so long, a, a seething bag of resentment and silence, and I'm just now, at 40, 25 years later, starting to feel anger and rage, and it's really scary to allow it to come back into your body, 'cause it can feel like it can take over.

— Unattributed

So that isn't the barometer. It's how you showed up, and we can always learn something. We're not built to be perfect.

— Dr. Jo Perkins

I let people know I'm a bit of a messy motherfucker. I might be a bit late. I might forget an email, but I'm bang on it. I'm right here with you.

— Unattributed

Read the available transcript
ADHD “tells” and maskingPeople-pleasing, empathy, sensitivityCompliments, self-esteem, imposter feelingsTrauma debate and hypervigilanceFamily validation and father–child dynamicsCreativity and hyperfocus neuroscienceMisdiagnosis (anxiety, bipolar, addiction, insomnia) and overlap

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SPEAKERS

  • Dr. Jo Perkins

    guest

    Psychologist and clinical ADHD/trauma-focused commentator providing therapy-based explanations and guidance.

  • Alex Partridge

    host

    Host of the podcast ADHD Chatter with Alex Partridge.

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

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