What They Don’t Tell You About Money and Marriage (feat. Bill Perkins)

Codie Sanchez argues that divorce is often treated as a statistic or inevitability, but in lived reality it is emotionally brutal, time-consuming, and financially disruptive, with ripple effects into work, friendships, and identity. She frames “avoid marrying the wrong person” and “avoid divorce” as two separate but related goals.

Codie discusses divorce-related numbers she researched (including the idea that the commonly cited “50%” rate may be off), and shares several correlations mentioned in tweets and charts—while repeatedly emphasizing correlation vs. causation. Her focus is on understanding “odds” and risks that may stack against a marriage.

Bill Perkins describes his divorce as the biggest failure of his life, and recounts how blame and loss of identity showed up after the marriage ended. He says the process forced him to unpack his role, reassess priorities, and rediscover what he liked and needed in partnership.

Bill argues that “nobody does anything great alone,” extending the logic of coaching in sports/business to marriage; he recommends a relationship coach even when things seem good. Codie echoes this by saying she and her husband have weekly coaching and see it as setting the priority for the week.

Codie describes a daily practice she and her husband use called TEAM: Touch, Education, Appreciation, and Metrics. She says it reduces “tiny nags” that otherwise boil over, preserves intimacy, creates novelty through daily sharing, and makes hard feedback easier because it happens when emotions are lower.