The Emotion Few Talk About, But Many Feel

From classrooms and locker rooms to workplaces and social media, Adam and Brené trace how shame and humiliation are used to control behavior and even fuel violence. They explore what causes shame, why our self-protective responses backfire, and how we can handle it more effectively. They also unpack the messy overlap between imposter syndrome and cultural pressures toward self-doubt. You can find The Curiosity Shop on ⁠YouTube⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ (@thecuriosityshop). 0:00 - Introduction 2:10 - The One, Two, Threes of Shame 8:52 - The New Research on Humiliation 14:04 - What Is Humiliation? 18:30 - Why Don’t People Outgrow Shame? 29:09 - How to Help People Out of Shame? 38:05 - Reconnecting Your Prefrontal Cortex Post-Shame 42:55 - How Does Shame Relate to Imposter Syndrome? 50:10 - Biggest Takeaways About Shame, Guilt, Humiliation, and Embarrassment Why Feelings of Guilt May Signal Leadership Potential - Marina Krakovsky, 2012, Insights by Stanford Business (Introducing the work of Schaumberg) https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/why-feelings-guilt-may-signal-leadership-potential Unwanted identities: A key variable in shame-anger links and gender differences in shame - Ferguson et al., Sex Roles https://www.researchgate.net/publication/226845367_Unwanted_Identities_A_Key_Variable_in_Shame-Anger_Links_and_Gender_Differences_in_Shame Humiliation: Causes, correlates, and consequences - Elison & Harter, 2007, from The self‑conscious emotions: Theory and research https://www.researchgate.net/publication/312630733_Humiliation_Causes_correlates_and_consequences Healing Humiliation: From Reaction to Creative Action - Hartling & Linder, 2016, Journal of Counseling & Development https://www.humiliationstudies.org/documents/hartling/HealingHumiliation2016.pdf Shame and Humiliation: From Isolation to Relational Transformation - Hartling et al., Stone Center for Developmental Services and Studies https://www.humiliationstudies.org/documents/hartling/HartlingShameHumiliation.pdf Strengthening resilience in a risky world: It’s all about relationships - Hartling, 2003, Women & Therapy https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233230821_Strengthening_Resilience_in_a_Risky_World_It's_All_About_Relationships Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome - Ruchika Tulshyan & Jodi-Ann Burey, 2021, Harvard Business Review https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-impostor-syndrome How imposter syndrome can be your superpower - MIT Sloan Office Of Communications, 2025 (Introducing the work of Basima Tewfik) https://mitsloan.mit.edu/press/how-imposter-syndrome-can-be-your-superpower Unmasking the Impostor - MIT Sloan Office of Communications, 2025 (Tewfik, Debunking 4 myths) https://mitsloan.mit.edu/press/unmasking-impostor Listening to shame, Brené Brown, 2012, TED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0 The Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown, 2011, TED https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o