The Diary of a CEOWhy monogamy fights how your limbic brain picks partners
How unconscious attraction starts deep inside the limbic brain; dopamine and oxytocin quiet your fear before you cross a crowded room to say hello.
Episode Details
EPISODE INFO
- Released
- July 3, 2025
- Duration
- 2h 20m
- Channel
- The Diary of a CEO
- Watch on YouTube
- ▶ Open ↗
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
World Renowned Fatherhood Expert Dr Anna Machin reveals the #1 lie about monogamy, how cheating hijacks human brains, and the evolutionary truth behind love, trust, and fatherhood! Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist and relationship scientist known for her groundbreaking research on human connection, love, fatherhood, and attachment. She is also the author of Why We Love: The New Science Behind Our Closest Relationships. What you’ll learn: ◽️ How cheating hijacks the brain like an addictive drug ◽️ The evolutionary lie about monogamy & true love ◽️ Why modern fatherhood is more important than ever ◽️ The real reason we fall for the wrong person ◽️ How oxytocin, dopamine & DNA shape who we love and trust — ⏱ Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:15 Why Love Is the Core of Being Human 07:13 The Forgotten Role of Fathers 09:10 Individualism and the Current State of Love 14:44 Women Find Their Right Partner by Smelling Them 20:22 Testosterone Is Linked to Success in Men 21:51 How to Increase Your Attractiveness (Backed by Science) 26:23 Never Say This on a Date 27:36 Are “Icks” Red Flags We Should Listen To? 29:58 We’ve Got Too Many Dating Options 33:45 Monogamy and Polyamory 40:07 Why People in Polyamorous Relationships Hide It 41:49 Are We All Pretending to Be Monogamous? 43:09 Why the First 1000 Days Are Critical for a Baby 48:54 Rough and Tumble: The Parenting Technique Every Parent Should Teach 51:50 How Your Brain and Body Change When Becoming a Dad 54:25 Why Some Dads Don’t Instantly Bond With Their Kids 58:22 Mental Health Issues From Lacking a Father Figure Early On 1:02:00 Implications of an Absent Mother 1:11:08 Biological Fathers vs. Father Figures 1:12:42 Father Figures in Lesbian Couples 1:14:48 Are Parents Needed in the First Two Years? 1:21:11 The Optimal Scenario to Raise a Child 1:26:03 How Dads Can Bond With Their Newborns 1:29:46 Love Drugs 1:38:35 Understanding Attachment Styles 1:42:58 Is Modern Society Pushing Us Toward a Specific Attachment Style? 1:44:20 Doomscrolling on Dating Apps? This Is Your Attachment Style 1:47:27 How to Change Your Attachment Style 1:51:26 How ADHD May Impact Your Love Life 1:57:32 Do People With ADHD Cheat More Often? 2:01:43 How to Contain Your Impulses 2:03:02 Sex Life and Neurodivergence 2:03:48 Relationships as the Biggest Factor in Health and Longevity 2:10:04 What Happens to the Brain When It's in Love 2:14:07 When Did You Feel Like You’d Made It? The Diary Of A CEO: ◽️ Join DOAC circle here - https://doaccircle.com/ ◽️ Buy The Diary Of A CEO book here - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook ◽️ The 1% Diary is back - limited time only: https://bit.ly/3YFbJbt ◽️ The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards (Second Edition): https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb ◽️ Get email updates - https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt ◽️ Follow Steven - https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Dr Anna: ◽️ Instagram – https://bit.ly/45ElU4p ◽️ Website – https://bit.ly/3GcTT9S ◽️ You can purchase Dr Anna’s book, ‘Why We Love: The New Science Behind Our Closest Relationships’, here: https://bit.ly/3GjfOfo ◽️You can purchase Dr Anna’s book ‘The Life of Dad: The Making of a Modern Father’, here: https://bit.ly/4lbtE2A — Sponsors: KetoneIQ - Visit https://ketone.com/STEVEN for 30% off your subscription order Shopify - https://shopify.com/bartlett
SPEAKERS
Dr Anna Machin
guestSteven Bartlett
hostNarrator
other
EPISODE SUMMARY
In this episode of The Diary of a CEO, featuring Dr Anna Machin and Steven Bartlett, Why monogamy fights how your limbic brain picks partners explores love, Monogamy, and Fathers: The Neuroscience Reshaping Modern Relationships Oxford evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin explains how human love is wired in the brain, why strict sexual monogamy is a cultural construct, and why polyamory can be just as satisfying as monogamy. She details the unconscious and conscious stages of attraction, including how women literally smell genetic compatibility and why body ratios matter. A major focus is her decades of research on fatherhood, showing that engaged fathers – biological or not – are neurologically primed to parent and are critical for children’s social, emotional, and mental health outcomes. The conversation also explores attachment styles, neurodiversity (ADHD/autism) in relationships, emerging “love drugs,” and the risks of outsourcing intimacy to AI.
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