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Good Inside with Dr. BeckyGabby Bernstein Helps Dr. Becky With Her Anxiety
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Dr. Becky learns anxiety tools using IFS, compassion, and tapping
- Gabby Bernstein reframes anxiety as a protective “part” that tries to prevent access to unresolved emotions or trauma, and she emphasizes compassion and curiosity instead of self-criticism.
- They connect anxiety to unprocessed experiences (big-T and small-t trauma), describing how the body’s threat system can create an urge to “run away from yourself.”
- Gabby teaches a simple “Self-to-part” practice (greeting anxiety, asking what it needs) plus a physical heart-and-belly hold to create felt safety and co-regulation.
- The episode includes a live Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/tapping) demonstration where Dr. Becky reduces her anxiety from about 6.5 to 2 by tapping through validating and safety statements.
- Both highlight “reparenting yourself” as foundational for parenting effectively—regulating your own nervous system first so you can help your child regulate.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasTreat anxiety like a well-intentioned protector, not an enemy.
They argue anxiety often escalates when ignored or shamed; “greeting” it with curiosity can reduce its intensity and reveal what it’s trying to protect you from.
Anxiety often signals unresolved emotional material, not personal failure.
Gabby links chronic anxiety to unprocessed trauma or distress (big-T or small-t), and Dr. Becky frames it as the body’s threat system urging escape from internal sensations.
Use “Self energy” to co-regulate your anxious part.
In IFS terms, Self (the resourced, compassionate internal adult) can bring calm, connection, and curiosity to anxious protectors so they don’t take over your “command center.”
A simple heart-and-belly hold can establish felt safety quickly.
Placing one hand on the heart and one on the belly while breathing and offering kind internal language is presented as a direct way to settle the nervous system and reduce aloneness in feelings.
Personalized wording matters more than “perfect” wording.
If phrases like “I love you” don’t land, they encourage experimenting with language that fits (e.g., “You’re a good part having a hard time”) to create genuine self-compassion.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesAll the while, I was a spiritual teacher studying yoga modalities, teaching meditation, using my meditation practice as, like, the lifeline because- ... instead of living without anxiety, I was managing my anxiety with my spiritual practice.
— Gabby Bernstein
So when folks- when we as the collective suffer from anxiety, it's our body saying that there's an unresolved emotional disturbance that is in the way of our natural ability to regulate.
— Gabby Bernstein
I think if you can see anxiety first and foremost with tremendous compassion and curiosity and just say, "Oh, wow, you've been there trying to help me. I'd like to learn more about you. What are you protecting? And what do I know about you?"
— Gabby Bernstein
It's like you're trying to run away from yourself in that moment, and to me, that is so much anxiety.
— Dr. Becky
Anything new feels awkward and uncomfortable because it's my body carving out some totally new circuit, right? It's going down a totally different path on a snowy mountain.
— Dr. Becky
SPEAKERS
Dr. Becky
hostClinical psychologist and parenting expert; host of the Good Inside podcast.
Gabby Bernstein
guestMotivational speaker and author (including “Happy Days”); host of the “Dear Gabby” podcast.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
