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The Cost of Compliance for Our Kids

We often think of “good” kids as those who listen and follow rules, but what if constant compliance comes with a long-term cost? Dr. Becky talks with Dr. Sunita Sah, author of *Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes*, about rethinking defiance, the downsides of over-compliance, and helping kids balance cooperation with self-respect. Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk Your Good Inside membership might be eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement! To learn more about how to get your membership reimbursed, check out the link here: https://www.goodinside.com/fsa-hsa-eligibility/ Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast Thank you to our sponsor Hot Wheels. Check out our full series with Hot Wheels at hotwheels.com/challengeaccepted Thank you to our sponsor, Airbnb — because during the holidays, it’s nice to love your family *and* have your own space. Find your getaway or host your home at airbnb.com/host Thank you to our sponsor DREO. Check out the DREO Baby Humidifier at https://bit.ly/3WtcliS and use code Becky20 for 20% off. Ever feel like you love your kid but don’t really *like* them right now? Join Dr. Becky’s live workshop, “Why Is Everything a Battle?”, on Wednesday, November 19th, to learn why your “resilient rebel” acts the way they do—and get real strategies to make power struggles easier. Visit goodinside.com/defiance At Good Inside, we’re shifting the narrative - away from instinct and toward education - because parenting isn’t something that just comes naturally. And the first step to real, cycle-breaking change? Understanding yourself—and the patterns you fall into. I’ve said it before: every parent has a pattern. But have you ever stopped to ask… what’s yours? Take the free quiz at goodinside.com/better to discover your parenting pattern.

Dr. Becky Kennedyhost
Nov 11, 202535mWatch on YouTube ↗

Episode Details

EPISODE INFO

Released
November 11, 2025
Duration
35m
Channel
Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Watch on YouTube
▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

We often think of “good” kids as those who listen and follow rules, but what if constant compliance comes with a long-term cost? Dr. Becky talks with Dr. Sunita Sah, author of *Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes*, about rethinking defiance, the downsides of over-compliance, and helping kids balance cooperation with self-respect. Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk Your Good Inside membership might be eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement! To learn more about how to get your membership reimbursed, check out the link here: https://www.goodinside.com/fsa-hsa-eligibility/ Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast Thank you to our sponsor Hot Wheels. Check out our full series with Hot Wheels at hotwheels.com/challengeaccepted Thank you to our sponsor, Airbnb — because during the holidays, it’s nice to love your family *and* have your own space. Find your getaway or host your home at airbnb.com/host Thank you to our sponsor DREO. Check out the DREO Baby Humidifier at https://bit.ly/3WtcliS and use code Becky20 for 20% off. Ever feel like you love your kid but don’t really *like* them right now? Join Dr. Becky’s live workshop, “Why Is Everything a Battle?”, on Wednesday, November 19th, to learn why your “resilient rebel” acts the way they do—and get real strategies to make power struggles easier. Visit goodinside.com/defiance At Good Inside, we’re shifting the narrative - away from instinct and toward education - because parenting isn’t something that just comes naturally. And the first step to real, cycle-breaking change? Understanding yourself—and the patterns you fall into. I’ve said it before: every parent has a pattern. But have you ever stopped to ask… what’s yours? Take the free quiz at goodinside.com/better to discover your parenting pattern.

SPEAKERS

  • Dr. Becky Kennedy

    host

    Clinical psychologist and parenting expert; host of the Good Inside podcast.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Good Inside with Dr. Becky, featuring Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dr. Sunita Sah, The Cost of Compliance for Our Kids explores rethinking kids’ “defiance” as vital practice for lifelong agency skills They challenge the common parenting label of “defiant kid,” arguing that society trains children to equate being “good” with obedience and compliance.

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