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Why Kids Want to Be Influencers (And How Parents Should Respond)

The majority of kids today say they want to be influencers. What happens when that shows up in your own home? When your child isn’t just playing or performing… but actively trying to be seen, followed, and validated online? In this episode, a mom of a 10-year-old shares a tension so many parents feel but don’t always say out loud: *I’m proud of her confidence… and I’m scared of what she’s chasing.* Dr. Sheryl unpacks what’s really driving this desire to be “famous,” why it makes so much sense developmentally, and how to respond without shutting your child down — or leaving them unprotected. New episodes drop every Wednesday; follow the show on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-in-between-years/id1883164211 or Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/11zHzFPVMQEqVPETjAkCOh?si=177f2355e366401b so you don't miss a single one! Follow Dr. Sheryl on Instagram: @drsherylatgoodinside Get the Good Inside app: Good Inside Teen: https://www.goodinside.com/lp/teen-parenting/?utm_source=shownotes&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=evergreen&utm_content=utm_content%20=%20shownotes_20260201_expert_sheryl Thank you to our partners for making this episode of The In-Between Years possible! -Equip: https://equip.health/goodinside: Learn about Equip's at-home eating disorder treatment at equip.health/goodinside

Dr. SherylhostMom of a 10-year-oldguest
Apr 15, 202639mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Helping kids dream big online while setting safe social boundaries

  1. Dr. Sheryl reframes “I want to be famous” as a developmentally normal search for competence, identity, belonging, and peer validation—now happening largely through screens.
  2. The episode emphasizes leading with curiosity (“show me what you’re making”) to reduce shame, understand a child’s digital world, and keep communication open.
  3. Parents are guided to treat public posting like real-world access to strangers, using IRL analogies to clarify risks and justify tighter supervision.
  4. The core parenting stance is “support the dream, not the unsafe version of the dream,” by adding guardrails (monitoring, consent rules, privacy settings) rather than banning outright.
  5. The parent is coached on holding boundaries with empathy, anticipating pushback and secrecy, and building trust through follow-up conversations and clear expectations.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Wanting to be an influencer is often a modern form of normal childhood dreaming.

Dr. Sheryl frames kids’ online creation as the current “play world” where they explore skills and identity, similar to earlier generations’ imaginative play—just with a larger audience and faster feedback.

Start with curiosity to stay connected and gather real information.

Asking to see drafts, ideas, and how content is made builds trust and gives parents the context needed to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting from fear or contempt.

Translate digital activity into a real-life equivalent to make safety decisions clearer.

Comparing public posting to “sneaking out to talk to strangers” helps parents calibrate supervision, because online followers/comments can function like uncontrolled access to unknown adults.

Boundaries protect dreams—they don’t have to squash them.

The episode offers a “one step up” model: you can support the interest while limiting exposure (e.g., private accounts, tighter posting rules) rather than going “all-in” on public fame.

Monitoring is part of the job when kids publish or interact publicly.

Clear rules (parent approval before posting, shared access, defined privacy settings) are positioned as the necessary conditions for allowing online creation at all—especially at age 10.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

She just wants to be famous. She wants to be seen. She wants to be heard.

— Mom of a 10-year-old

Sometimes when we look at our kids' childhood right now, it feels unrelatable.

— Dr. Sheryl

I cannot emphasize enough how much we need to do that for our kids... Pure curiosity.

— Dr. Sheryl

Boundaries don't squash dreams. Boundaries keep them safe.

— Dr. Sheryl

They act like they don't need you. They still need you.

— Dr. Sheryl

Kids’ identity and competence developmentPeer validation and dopamine/attention loopsCuriosity-first parenting languageDigital-to-IRL risk analogies (strangers, sneaking out)Boundary setting and parental monitoringConsent and featuring other children in contentCompromise solutions (private accounts, no face, limited sharing)

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