Overcoming Guilt & Building Tenacity in Kids & Adults | Dr. Becky Kennedy

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and renowned expert on parent-child relationships and emotional processing. Dr. Kennedy is also the founder of Good Inside, an educational platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss how to learn, embody, and teach better emotional processing, leading to healthier relationships—not just in the context of parent-child dynamics but also in the workplace, romantic partnerships and friendships. Dr. Kennedy shares practical strategies for managing guilt, building frustration tolerance, nurturing emotional intelligence, and being a sturdy parent or person in general. We also explore the impact of technology on emotional processing in both kids and adults and discuss ways to foster greater feelings of capability and confidence. This conversation applies broadly to all types of social connections and aims to empower listeners to cultivate more resilient, loving and supportive relationships. Read the episode show notes: https://go.hubermanlab.com/kUnUiTb *Thank you to our sponsors* AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Wealthfront**: https://wealthfront.com/huberman Our Place: https://fromourplace.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman _**This experience may not be representative of the experience of other clients of Wealthfront, and there is no guarantee that all clients will have similar experiences. Cash Account is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC. The Annual Percentage Yield (“APY”) on cash deposits as of December 27,‬ 2024, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to partner banks where they earn the variable‭ APY. Promo terms and FDIC coverage conditions apply. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer._ *Follow Huberman Lab* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab X: https://x/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com *Dr. Becky Kennedy* Good Inside: https://www.goodinside.com/huberman Good Inside (book): https://amzlink.to/az0DW0DDbMGGB Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside *Timestamps* 00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy; LA Fires 00:03:13 Emotions, Parents & Kids, Information, Tools: Story; “Right to Notice” 00:11:24 Sponsors: Wealthfront & Our Place 00:14:25 Empathy, Kids & Parents 00:18:33 Sturdiness, Pilot Analogy, Tool: Parental Self-Care 00:26:34 Emotions, Rigidity, Moody vs Steady Kids, Siblings 00:32:51 Emotion Talk, Crying; Eye Rolls, Tools: Not Taking Bait; Discuss Struggle 00:39:26 Parent-Child Power Dynamics, Tools: Requests for Parent; Repair 00:48:50 Sponsors: AG1 & Joovv 00:51:39 Power & Authority, Tools: Learning More; Parent Primary Job & Safety 00:59:16 Statements of Stance, Actions vs Emotions; Values, Behaviors & Rigidity 01:05:59 Guilt, Women; Tools: “Not Guilt”, Tennis Court Analogy & Empathy 01:15:46 Sponsors: LMNT & Eight Sleep 01:18:41 Guilt, Relationships, Tool: Naming Values Directly 01:26:06 Locate Others & Values; Sturdy Leadership; Parenting & Shame 01:31:36 Egg Analogy & Boundaries; Tools: Frame Separation; Pilot & Turbulence; Safety 01:39:30 Projection, “Porous”; Tools: Gazing In vs Out, Most Generous Interpretation 01:45:51 Tools: “Soften”; Do Nothing & Difficult Situations; Proving Parenting 01:51:05 Gazing In vs Out, Scales; Self-Needs & Inconvenience 02:00:05 Stress & Story, Nervous; Relationships vs Efficiency 02:08:46 Technology, Relationships, Frustration Tolerance, Gratification 02:15:18 Slowing Down, Phones, Frustration, Capability 02:21:42 Immediate Gratification, Effort & Struggle, Dopamine 02:29:25 Confidence, Board Games, Parental Modeling 02:34:04 Ultra-Performers & Pressure, Emptiness 02:41:29 Trying Things, Unlived Dreams, Frustration Tolerance, Tool: Learning Space 02:51:08 Learning & Building Frustration Tolerance, Tantrums; Feelings & Story 03:03:00 Tool: Using Story; Shame, Punishment 03:12:55 Leadership & Storytelling, Tools: Asking Questions; Songs & Learning 03:23:21 Miss Edson, Momentum, Tool: Small First Steps 03:30:15 Tools: Parents & Starting Point 03:36:29 Good Inside, Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Psychology #Relationships Disclaimer & Disclosures: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Andrew HubermanhostDr. Becky Kennedyguest

Jan 13, 20253h 38mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: January 13, 2025
Duration: 3h 38m
Channel: Huberman Lab
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and renowned expert on parent-child relationships and emotional processing. Dr. Kennedy is also the founder of Good Inside, an educational platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss how to learn, embody, and teach better emotional processing, leading to healthier relationships—not just in the context of parent-child dynamics but also in the workplace, romantic partnerships and friendships. Dr. Kennedy shares practical strategies for managing guilt, building frustration tolerance, nurturing emotional intelligence, and being a sturdy parent or person in general. We also explore the impact of technology on emotional processing in both kids and adults and discuss ways to foster greater feelings of capability and confidence. This conversation applies broadly to all types of social connections and aims to empower listeners to cultivate more resilient, loving and supportive relationships. Read the episode show notes: https://go.hubermanlab.com/kUnUiTb *Thank you to our sponsors* AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Wealthfront**: https://wealthfront.com/huberman Our Place: https://fromourplace.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman _**This experience may not be representative of the experience of other clients of Wealthfront, and there is no guarantee that all clients will have similar experiences. Cash Account is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC. The Annual Percentage Yield (“APY”) on cash deposits as of December 27,‬ 2024, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to partner banks where they earn the variable‭ APY. Promo terms and FDIC coverage conditions apply. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer._ *Follow Huberman Lab* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab X: https://x/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com *Dr. Becky Kennedy* Good Inside: https://www.goodinside.com/huberman Good Inside (book): https://amzlink.to/az0DW0DDbMGGB Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside *Timestamps* 00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy; LA Fires 00:03:13 Emotions, Parents & Kids, Information, Tools: Story; “Right to Notice” 00:11:24 Sponsors: Wealthfront & Our Place 00:14:25 Empathy, Kids & Parents 00:18:33 Sturdiness, Pilot Analogy, Tool: Parental Self-Care 00:26:34 Emotions, Rigidity, Moody vs Steady Kids, Siblings 00:32:51 Emotion Talk, Crying; Eye Rolls, Tools: Not Taking Bait; Discuss Struggle 00:39:26 Parent-Child Power Dynamics, Tools: Requests for Parent; Repair 00:48:50 Sponsors: AG1 & Joovv 00:51:39 Power & Authority, Tools: Learning More; Parent Primary Job & Safety 00:59:16 Statements of Stance, Actions vs Emotions; Values, Behaviors & Rigidity 01:05:59 Guilt, Women; Tools: “Not Guilt”, Tennis Court Analogy & Empathy 01:15:46 Sponsors: LMNT & Eight Sleep 01:18:41 Guilt, Relationships, Tool: Naming Values Directly 01:26:06 Locate Others & Values; Sturdy Leadership; Parenting & Shame 01:31:36 Egg Analogy & Boundaries; Tools: Frame Separation; Pilot & Turbulence; Safety 01:39:30 Projection, “Porous”; Tools: Gazing In vs Out, Most Generous Interpretation 01:45:51 Tools: “Soften”; Do Nothing & Difficult Situations; Proving Parenting 01:51:05 Gazing In vs Out, Scales; Self-Needs & Inconvenience 02:00:05 Stress & Story, Nervous; Relationships vs Efficiency 02:08:46 Technology, Relationships, Frustration Tolerance, Gratification 02:15:18 Slowing Down, Phones, Frustration, Capability 02:21:42 Immediate Gratification, Effort & Struggle, Dopamine 02:29:25 Confidence, Board Games, Parental Modeling 02:34:04 Ultra-Performers & Pressure, Emptiness 02:41:29 Trying Things, Unlived Dreams, Frustration Tolerance, Tool: Learning Space 02:51:08 Learning & Building Frustration Tolerance, Tantrums; Feelings & Story 03:03:00 Tool: Using Story; Shame, Punishment 03:12:55 Leadership & Storytelling, Tools: Asking Questions; Songs & Learning 03:23:21 Miss Edson, Momentum, Tool: Small First Steps 03:30:15 Tools: Parents & Starting Point 03:36:29 Good Inside, Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Psychology #Relationships Disclaimer & Disclosures: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

SPEAKERS

Andrew Huberman
host
Dr. Becky Kennedy
guest
Narrator
other

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Huberman Lab, featuring Andrew Huberman and Dr. Becky Kennedy, Overcoming Guilt & Building Tenacity in Kids & Adults | Dr. Becky Kennedy explores transforming Guilt, Frustration, and Parenting Through Stories and Boundaries Andrew Huberman and clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy explore how emotions, especially guilt, frustration, and shame, shape both children and adults—and how to work with them more skillfully. Dr. Becky reframes guilt as a useful signal when we act out of alignment with our values, distinguishing it from the common pattern of absorbing other people’s feelings and calling it “guilt.”

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