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Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds | Dr. Becky Kennedy

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc. We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries. We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals. The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman AeroPress: https://aeropress.com/huberman InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Huberman Lab Social & Website Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com Newsletter: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter Dr. Becky Kennedy Good Inside website: https://www.goodinside.com TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy Good Inside book: https://www.goodinside.com/book Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbeckyatgoodinside TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside Threads: https://www.threads.net/@drbeckyatgoodinside Journal Articles The tenacious brain: How the anterior mid-cingulate contributes to achieving goals: https://bit.ly/48p5SZW Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-how-to-understand-emotions The Effects of Cannabis (Marijuana) on the Brain & Body: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body People Mentioned Gabor Maté: physician and author: https://drgabormate.com Ronald Fairburn: psychiatrist and psychoanalyst: https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/ronald-fairbairn James Hollis: Jungian psychoanalyst and author: https://jameshollis.net/welcome.htm Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy 00:02:44 Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress 00:07:35 Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy 00:14:34 Tool: Establishing Boundaries 00:18:24 Rules, Boundaries & Connection 00:22:19 Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building 00:29:48 Sponsor: AG1 00:31:16 Kids & Inherent Good 00:34:06 Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope 00:41:54 Rewards, Pride 00:44:48 Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships 00:52:15 Trauma, Aloneness & Repair 00:57:07 Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology 01:01:04 Tool: Good Apologies 01:03:35 Sponsor: InsideTracker 01:04:37 Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation 01:12:32 Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership 01:20:49 Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload 01:30:10 Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment 01:37:11 Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation 01:41:20 Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning 01:51:57 Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self 01:55:24 Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation 02:01:15 Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads 02:09:58 Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings 02:15:07 Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict 02:22:08 Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help 02:30:03 Mentors 02:34:26 Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration 02:41:57 Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance 02:46:31 Good Inside Platform 02:51:27 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Parenting #Relationships Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Andrew HubermanhostDr. Becky Kennedyguest
Feb 26, 20242h 54mWatch on YouTube ↗

Episode Details

EPISODE INFO

Released
February 26, 2024
Duration
2h 54m
Channel
Huberman Lab
Watch on YouTube
▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc. We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries. We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals. The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman AeroPress: https://aeropress.com/huberman InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Huberman Lab Social & Website Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com Newsletter: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter Dr. Becky Kennedy Good Inside website: https://www.goodinside.com TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy Good Inside book: https://www.goodinside.com/book Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbeckyatgoodinside TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside Threads: https://www.threads.net/@drbeckyatgoodinside Journal Articles The tenacious brain: How the anterior mid-cingulate contributes to achieving goals: https://bit.ly/48p5SZW Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-how-to-understand-emotions The Effects of Cannabis (Marijuana) on the Brain & Body: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body People Mentioned Gabor Maté: physician and author: https://drgabormate.com Ronald Fairburn: psychiatrist and psychoanalyst: https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/ronald-fairbairn James Hollis: Jungian psychoanalyst and author: https://jameshollis.net/welcome.htm Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy 00:02:44 Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress 00:07:35 Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy 00:14:34 Tool: Establishing Boundaries 00:18:24 Rules, Boundaries & Connection 00:22:19 Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building 00:29:48 Sponsor: AG1 00:31:16 Kids & Inherent Good 00:34:06 Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope 00:41:54 Rewards, Pride 00:44:48 Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships 00:52:15 Trauma, Aloneness & Repair 00:57:07 Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology 01:01:04 Tool: Good Apologies 01:03:35 Sponsor: InsideTracker 01:04:37 Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation 01:12:32 Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership 01:20:49 Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload 01:30:10 Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment 01:37:11 Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation 01:41:20 Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning 01:51:57 Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self 01:55:24 Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation 02:01:15 Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads 02:09:58 Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings 02:15:07 Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict 02:22:08 Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help 02:30:03 Mentors 02:34:26 Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration 02:41:57 Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance 02:46:31 Good Inside Platform 02:51:27 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Parenting #Relationships Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

SPEAKERS

  • Andrew Huberman

    host
  • Dr. Becky Kennedy

    guest

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Huberman Lab, featuring Andrew Huberman and Dr. Becky Kennedy, Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds | Dr. Becky Kennedy explores raise Sturdy Kids: Boundaries, Empathy, and Real-World Parenting Scripts Dr. Becky Kennedy and Andrew Huberman explore a science-informed, highly practical model of parenting centered on “sturdiness” — the ability to stay connected to oneself and to a child at the same time. Dr. Becky defines a parent’s core jobs as setting clear boundaries and providing empathy/validation, and shows how those skills generalize to all relationships. They reframe common topics like discipline, rewards, trauma, teen rebellion, entitlement, and ADHD through the lenses of skill-building and emotion regulation rather than control. The conversation is rich with word-for-word scripts, mindset shifts, and frameworks that help parents (and leaders, partners, and friends) respond effectively in real time, especially in tense or emotionally charged situations.

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