Jay Shetty Podcast

#1 CONFIDENCE Coach: The hidden secret that has been holding you back from being CONFIDENT...

What’s been making you doubt yourself lately? What do you think triggered that feeling? Today, Jay welcomes back his friend Roxie Nafousi to unpack what confidence actually looks and feels like, not the glossy, loud, performative version, but the quiet inner knowing that you are enough as you are. They start by breaking down how much of our insecurity comes from the stories we tell ourselves: the overthinking before we walk into a room, the mental replay after we walk out, and the way we let validation, or the lack of it, shape our worth. Roxie then opens up about something she’s never shared publicly: her long struggle with body dysmorphic disorder. She talks honestly about the thoughts that dominated her life, the fear of being seen, and the belief that changing her appearance would quiet the constant self-criticism. Jay meets her with compassion as they unpack how these patterns form, how they shape the way you move through the world, and how healing begins with learning to speak to yourself with empathy instead of judgment. Jay and Roxie offer a roadmap that anyone can follow: mastering your inner voice, letting go of the pressure to be liked by everyone, celebrating the small wins, and choosing to show up as the version of yourself your higher self would be proud of. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Redefine Confidence From the Inside Out How to Stop Seeking External Validation How to Manage Comparison Before It Controls You How to Think Like Your Higher Self How to Break Free From People-Pleasing How to Handle Rejection Without Blaming Yourself How to Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Awareness When you start choosing compassion over judgment, intention over fear, and growth over perfection, you slowly reconnect with the part of yourself that’s always been there. The journey isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about finally seeing who you’ve been all along. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 04:21 Is External Validation Ever Healthy? 08:25 A 7-Step Path to Rebuilding Confidence 10:57 How Men and Women Show Confidence Differently 12:29 Mastering the Thoughts That Shape Your Reality 17:19 Self-Awareness vs. Self-Criticism 22:28 Meet the Best Version of You 26:26 Stop Trying to Be Liked by Everyone! 31:49 How Encouragement Boosts Performance 34:07 You Can’t Be Everyone’s Favorite and That’s Okay 38:42 People-Pleasing vs. Making People Happy 42:57 Practicing Radical Acceptance After Rejection 44:54 Your Mind Creates Stories That Aren’t True 47:16 Taking Responsibility Without Blaming Yourself 50:44 Why Feeling Worthy Now Matters Most 53:18 Healing the Roots of Deep Self-Loathing 01:06:27 Why Vulnerability Is a Form of Confidence 01:10:25 Your Mind Is More Powerful Than You Think 01:13:10 Are We Too Exposed to Our Own Reflection? 01:17:18 Managing BDD With Compassion and Awareness 01:22:04 The Importance of Celebrating Ourselves 01:24:09 What’s the Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance 01:27:45 How to Make Self-Celebration a Daily Habit 01:29:51 Catch People Doing Things Right Episode Resources: https://www.roxienafousi.com/ https://www.instagram.com/roxienafousi/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057924825815 https://twitter.com/roxie_n https://www.linkedin.com/in/roxienafousi7/ https://www.tiktok.com/@officialroxienafousi https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Jay ShettyhostRoxie Nafousiguest

Nov 30, 20251h 35mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Confidence is self-worth, not approval; train your mind kindly daily.

Confidence is framed as quiet self-worth—being unapologetically yourself and leaving interactions without obsessing over others’ opinions.
External validation can motivate growth, but modern metrics (likes, visibility) distort self-perception and make others’ reactions a primary measure of worth.
Repeated thoughts become beliefs that filter reality, creating self-fulfilling prophecies; shifting from an inner heckler to an inner cheerleader changes performance and experience.
People-pleasing and fear of rejection are reduced through “essential truths” (spotlight effect, mind-reading fallacy, universal unlikability, and “it’s not personal”) plus radical acceptance of discomfort.
Nafousi shares her history with addiction and body dysmorphic disorder to show confidence can coexist with ongoing mental-health management, and emphasizes self-celebration without arrogance as a daily practice.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Confidence is self-worth, not volume or charisma.

Nafousi defines confidence as knowing you’re enough as you are—grounded, stable, and able to enter and exit rooms without ruminating about others’ judgments.

Validation is useful only when it doesn’t define your worth.

Some external feedback helps social functioning and growth, but relying on it to decide how you should feel about yourself (e.g., likes determining whether a loved photo is “good”) erodes confidence.

Your brain searches for evidence that matches what you already believe.

If you believe you’re “bad with people,” you’ll over-notice neutral cues as rejection and behave defensively, reinforcing the belief; changing the belief changes what you perceive and how you respond.

Replace self-criticism with compassionate self-awareness.

Self-criticism attacks (“I’m an idiot”), while self-awareness coaches (“What can I do better next time?”); confidence means being a “masterpiece and a work in progress” simultaneously.

Practice a “higher self” voice to weaken the inner heckler.

A daily journaling prompt—writing a motivational message from your higher self—helps you rehearse a kinder internal voice until it becomes more natural and influential.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Confidence is grounding. It's quiet. It's stable.

— Roxie Nafousi

One of my favorite definitions of confidence is that confidence is about being able to walk into any room unapologetically yourself and walk out of it not worrying what everyone else thought of you.

— Roxie Nafousi

We don't just look for external validation to guide us, we look for it to tell us what we should think about ourselves.

— Roxie Nafousi

Confidence is knowing that you're a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.

— Roxie Nafousi

True confidence is knowing that your worth was never up for discussion.

— Roxie Nafousi

Confidence as self-worth vs extroversionExternal validation and social media measurementThoughts → beliefs → reality filters (self-fulfilling prophecy)Self-awareness vs self-criticism (compassionate growth)Higher self visualization and decision-makingStop trying to be liked; rejection and radical acceptanceBody dysmorphic disorder, surgery, and inner healingCelebrating yourself; humility, “evil eye,” confidence vs arrogance

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