Skip to content

By playing, you agree to uListen's Terms and Privacy Policy and YouTube's Terms of Service.

Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

BREAK The Cycle Of Self Sabotage & STOP Your Shame Spiral | La La Anthony

Today, I welcome La La Anthony, whose story is a shining example of self-discovery, resilience, and making a positive impact on the world.

La La AnthonyguestJay Shettyhost
Nov 13, 20231h 0mWatch on YouTube

Summaries, chapters, transcripts, and FAQs on this page are made by uListen, not YouTube.

Great conversations run long. Their best ideas don't have to.

uListen is free on iPhone, iPad, Android, Chrome, and Claude.

See how

Transcript

  1. 0:00 – 2:05

    Intro

    1. LA

      I grew up in a world where it's so competitive. Even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker, until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give, and then what?

    2. JS

      Look, I'm trying to talk to you about a job opportunity.

    3. LA

      Do I look unemployed to you?

    4. JS

      You are emerging in Hollywood in such a real way.

    5. LA

      Give it up for La La Anthony. When my whole marriage came crumbling down and I was in that bed, I was there by myself. Nobody gets married and says, "I'm getting divorced." You get married because you feel like you found your person, and this is what the rest of your life is gonna be like. What can I do? I have to adjust.

    6. JS

      Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

    7. LA

      The bestselling author and host.

    8. JS

      The number one health and wellness podcast. [laughs]

    9. LA

      On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

    10. JS

      La La, thank you so much for doing this.

    11. LA

      Of course.

    12. JS

      Honestly, like...

    13. LA

      I will always show up for you.

    14. JS

      You literally, like, you came on the show when, like, I don't even know anyone knew what the show was.

    15. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    16. JS

      And you... I think we just connected online, and we'd started messaging.

    17. LA

      Yeah.

    18. JS

      And I was so grateful when you came on, and since then we've stayed in touch. We've connect-

    19. LA

      Yeah, we've always stayed in touch.

    20. JS

      It's just, yeah. Thank you.

    21. LA

      And I always say you're my friend and someone I could depend on, and you always say the right things at, like...

    22. JS

      [laughs]

    23. LA

      You just said something to me right now, I was like, "I needed to hear that."

    24. JS

      [laughs]

    25. LA

      "I needed to hear that." Like, today's been sometimes one of those days, and I was like, "I needed that." You always, like, know exactly what to say.

    26. JS

      Well, you're very sweet, and I appreciate that. And I wanna, let's start there actually. Like, one thing I've been encouraging my friends to do, people that I love, people I care about, is reflecting on difficult things they've got through.

    27. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    28. JS

      Difficult things they've broken through.

    29. LA

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      Because I think often we do a lot of difficult things, and I realized this through my mom actually.

  2. 2:05 – 3:48

    Give Yourself Grace!

    1. LA

      life, like-

    2. JS

      Just a part of life.

    3. LA

      Yeah, yeah.

    4. JS

      So what's something difficult or hard that you've done in the last 12 months or recently that you want to take a moment to just honor yourself for?

    5. LA

      That is so nice. I should honor myself. I think, you know, learning that healing is messy. That's something that I'm dealing with, and it comes and goes. It's not always there, but understanding that there's no time limit on healing, and giving myself credit for healing and going through everything that I've been through. And learning that I don't always have to act like everything's okay if it's not. I have a tendency to do that. Like, it's one thing to not let people see you sweat, which I do understand that, and you don't need to put all your business on social media or whatever, but it's okay to feel things and understand that healing is messy. So, uh, my mom sent me something recently that was like, you know, "Be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace," because healing is messy. As soon as you think like, "Oh, I'm done with that, I'm over that," all of a sudden it's like, well, why is this still making me feel like that? Or you hear, hear something or see something and like, why am I still a little bothered by that? And I hear you talk about this, you know, there's no, like, timeframe. Like, okay, once it's been two months, you're done with whatever the difficult thing was. You shouldn't even be thinking about it anymore. Could be years and something can still pop up and trigger you or whatever, and being kind to yourself during those periods. So I wanna honor myself for just finally understanding healing is messy, and not being so hard on myself on certain things to not say, "You should have been done with that already. Why are you still thinking about that?" Or, "Why did that still bother you?" It's life. We're human. We have feelings. Things happen.

    6. JS

      As you said when you walked in, life is lifing.

    7. LA

      Life is lifing.

    8. JS

      [laughs]

    9. LA

      Life is lifing. And you know,

  3. 3:48 – 5:56

    Figuring Out What You Need To Heal

    1. LA

      there's so many blessings in this beautiful life, and I'm blessed to have the life that I have. And I'm constantly, you know, thanking God for this beautiful life, and sometimes you feel ungrateful or like, what do you have to complain about? Like, you have a beautiful life. You're doing well. Might not have some of the financial troubles or issues that a lot of people are going through that I have had, you know, before in my life. But it doesn't shield you from feelings and going through things, and I think a lot of time people kind of confuse that.

    2. JS

      Yeah, I think different platforms and different levels have different problems.

    3. LA

      Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

    4. JS

      And they keep changing.

    5. LA

      Definitely, definitely.

    6. JS

      And the problems you have today weren't the problems you had then.

    7. LA

      Right.

    8. JS

      And the problems you had then are not problems you have today. I feel like healing's an interesting word, because everyone's looking at what happens on the outside.

    9. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JS

      But what do you think you're trying to heal on the inside? Like, what, what have you discovered about what you are trying to heal?

    11. LA

      I think on the inside I'm just trying to heal a person who probably has dealt with feelings of, like, abandonment, a person who has dealt with feelings of not feeling good enough, or definitely always having the questions of, like, why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Why me? Why did I have to go through this? I give so much good in the world. I do so much for so many people. Like, why do I have to suffer or go through what I feel like at times is some of the hardest things to go through, but still keep a brave face, still keep a smile? So understanding that, like, I really do believe when people say, you know, um, that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, and I remind myself of that. Like, you went through it because you could, and you come out better, and people can learn from you, and this can help somebody else. And I just have to remind myself of those things, because you do get caught up in the why me and like, look at everyone else. They have this, they have that. Why me? Why am I... You know, whatever it is. So just getting better at that, I think.

    12. JS

      Yeah. And when you talk to people, because I'm assuming that, you know, sometimes when we have that view of like, "Oh, they have it all-

    13. LA

      Mm-hmm

    14. JS

      ... oh, they have it all," I'm sure you talk to people behind the scenes and realize they don't have it all.

    15. LA

      Right, right.

    16. JS

      And so then how does that make you feel when you

  4. 5:56 – 7:09

    Dealing With Jealousy

    1. JS

      realize, oh, wait a minute, they don't have it all?

    2. LA

      Yeah. I mean, it doesn't make me feel good. I'm not wishing for anyone-

    3. JS

      Yeah

    4. LA

      ... to be struggling or not happy. But you just realize that things are just not always what they seem. And you know, in the world of social media, in the world of just constantly, like, looking at everyone else, whether it's how they look, their bodies or their lives, and saying, "Oh, I wish that could be me," it's like It's not reality. You don't know what people are dealing with. You don't know what people go home to. You don't know what's happening on the inside. And sometimes you do know, 'cause you'll hear things or see things, and you're like, "Oh, I thought this person had, like, the perfect life. Now they're..." Whatever, you know? So it's just, like, really honing in on making yourself happy, figuring out what it is that you need, and not comparing or always looking at something else, 'cause if we do that, I just feel like you'll never be happy, and you'll never be satisfied, 'cause there's always gonna be somebody that looks better, dresses better, younger, more talented, whatever it is. Like, so if you're looking for a reason to knock yourself down, you're gonna find it. Like, it's not that hard. You're gonna find it. So you have to be whole within yourself. And I am confident within myself. I'm not insecure. I'm confident, and I do walk with a certain level of confidence. So that part I'm good at. Dealing

  5. 7:09 – 9:36

    The Truth About Social Media

    1. LA

      with the kinda just like, wow, like, why me do certain things happen to, I'm still, you know, pushing through that and learning every day. Like, life is about learning. I don't think you're supposed to ever have it all figured out.

    2. JS

      Mm.

    3. LA

      You strike me as somebody that has it all figured out, but you're learning every day.

    4. JS

      Definitely.

    5. LA

      And I think when we have these conversations, you learn from us and vice versa. Like, it's a constant learning experience.

    6. JS

      Yeah, I'm constantly trying... It's really interesting, isn't it, when you are in a position of influence-

    7. LA

      Mm-hmm

    8. JS

      ... people often assume that you do have it all figured out.

    9. LA

      Right.

    10. JS

      And I'm constantly... I think people who listen to the podcast, they know me very deeply-

    11. LA

      Mm-hmm

    12. JS

      ... and intimately because they hear me say-

    13. LA

      Mm-hmm

    14. JS

      ... "I struggled with this this week"-

    15. LA

      Yes

    16. JS

      ... or, "This is something I'm going through." But if someone just sees a post on social media, they think-

    17. LA

      Right

    18. JS

      ... "Oh yeah, everything must be perfect."

    19. LA

      Yeah.

    20. JS

      And I find that I encourage everyone, and this is why you coming on the podcast is so great, because I encourage everyone to study people they follow a bit deeper.

    21. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JS

      Not to take them down or to think happy that they've got problems, too.

    23. LA

      Right.

    24. JS

      Not that reason, but the reason of, like, when you really study someone or you get to know someone, you start to realize we're all actually in a much more similar place. [laughs]

    25. LA

      Right. It's so true.

    26. JS

      Yeah.

    27. LA

      And what I've learned in my journey of life is you start realizing no matter how much money, how much status, or whatever, like, my friends that I grew up with when I had, you know, nothing are going through similar issues as friends of mine who have all the money in the world, all the success, all the... People are people. What you deal with every day is what you deal with every day. Money, status doesn't change that. And I think we live in a society where people automatically assume money fixes everything, or influence fixes everything, or fame fixes everything, not understanding that there are so many amazing things that come with it. I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, being successful, being famous, being whatever is, like, the worst thing in the world. I'm not that person. I'm so grateful for my success, my fame, my influence, and I don't, I don't take it lightly. But it doesn't mean that it protects me or stops me from dealing with other things. And fame, influence comes with other sets of problems. You know, people feeling like they can criticize you, people feeling like your life is an open book and they can say anything. A lot of us, when we go through things, the whole world doesn't have to know about it. When people like us go through things, it's open for discussion for the whole world, and everyone has an opinion, and that's not easy either. So you just have to continue to kinda strengthen yourself to be able to deal with, you know, all of that that comes with it.

    28. JS

      Yeah. I love what you said there. Like, I've thought about that a lot too because, you know,

  6. 9:36 – 12:41

    Finding Real Friendships

    1. JS

      last time you came, we were tracking your whole career journey. Like, you've done... You've hustled. You've worked hard. You've done so much to get to where you are today, and I wanna get to that. But for me, as I've been on this journey, I've been reflecting on what's changed over time-

    2. LA

      Mm-hmm

    3. JS

      ... as my external situation's changed, and what makes me feel protected. And you used that word protection. And I've realized that, of course, we have to have our internal protection of-

    4. LA

      Right

    5. JS

      ... how we feel about ourselves, our confidence, our own practices, but I've found that the thing that makes me feel the most protected is knowing the people around me who really know me-

    6. LA

      Mm-hmm

    7. JS

      ... and how much closer we get through that process.

    8. LA

      Right.

    9. JS

      Like, I have to take so much strength in the fact that the people around me, not only do they have my back, but they actually know me and understand me at a core.

    10. LA

      I feel that way, too.

    11. JS

      And I kind of take a lot of energy from that.

    12. LA

      Yeah.

    13. JS

      Do you do the same?

    14. LA

      I, I take so much energy from that. I'm like, the people who know, they know. The people that I need to depend on, they're always there. I'm blessed to have an amazing family, amazing group of friends that are like ride or die, that I know are there no matter what, and it's something that I don't take lightly. So it's not about proving to the world anything. Like, if my core group gets it, knows me inside and out, knows my ups, knows my downs, and are there for me, that's the energy I pull from as well.

    15. JS

      I want to talk to you about friendship. I think a lot of people feel quite, even when you're close friends-

    16. LA

      Mm-hmm

    17. JS

      ... and I'm sure you've felt this, it's hard to open up about-

    18. LA

      Mm-hmm

    19. JS

      ... things that are going wrong in your life. And I think a lot of people who are listening or watching, that's something that they can relate to, where it's like, I have my friends, but I don't know how to tell them-

    20. LA

      Right

    21. JS

      ... that I'm going through this, or I know they'd care about me, but I don't want them to feel sorry for me.

    22. LA

      Yeah, that's it, too.

    23. JS

      Or, or maybe they're going through so much stuff that-

    24. LA

      Yeah

    25. JS

      ... I don't want to put my stuff on them.

    26. LA

      Right.

    27. JS

      How have you managed to keep strong relationships as you've grown in life, as you've built your career? How have you managed to keep that core instead of losing it as you get more busy?

    28. LA

      Yeah. I think that my friendships have gotten even stronger because of those moments. I don't base my friendships off of, you know, this person has only been around when everything's been great, or we only talk about sunshine and flowers and cupcakes. Like, friends have to be there through everything, and you have to be able to be okay with being raw and real with people that you consider your friend. And don't throw that word around lightly. If you're saying, "This is my friend; this is my go-to," you should be able to share whatever's happening in your life, whether it's good or bad, and those are the things that bond you. You know, through those... I remember the friends that were there for me when I was going through my divorce, when I was publicly, you know, going through what I was going through as a result of what happened in my marriage. Like, I remember my friends that were there. I remember when my son was really young and had to have surgery, and who was there in that moment. Like, I remember all of that, and those were the strengthening moments of our friendship. Now, the fun stuff is great, too. I remember my friends who've been on vacation with me and got drunk and had a great time, but it's a balance, you know? The real friendships had a mix of all of that stuff, because that's what life is. Life is not always just fun and games. Life is up and down and up and down. That,

  7. 12:41 – 14:36

    Advice If You’re Struggling

    1. LA

      that's, that's what life is.

    2. JS

      Was there anything that a friend said to you or guidance you heard when you were going through your divorce that really helped or that really stayed with you or that you kind of Carry around in your heart

    3. LA

      Just not to blame myself. You know, this isn't your fault, not to blame myself. That always kinda stuck with me, 'cause it's easy to just blame yourself or get down on yourself or what was it, you know, that I did. And when I say not blaming yourself, I'm not saying don't take accountability for whatever you might have had to do with the situation. Like, it's important to s- sit back and say, "Okay, where could I have been better?" Because life is about being better and learning. You don't wanna just say, "Oh, this happened, it had nothing to do with me." You wanna understand, like, where could I have done better, or where did maybe I fall short on some things? But that's different than blaming yourself for what happened. And I think by taking accountability, I was able to grow and become a better person for whatever happens in my life in the future. You don't go through these experiences not to learn. Then what was the point? Like, you don't go through these experiences to then duplicate the same issues in your next relationship or your next marriage or, or whatever it is. That's not what that was there for. It was to learn, to get better, and then to apply that knowledge to the next situation, whether it's a friendship, relationship, marriage, whatever it is.

    4. JS

      I love what you brought out there, and I want everyone to just take note of that, because I think we think we either have to take full responsibility or no responsibility.

    5. LA

      Right.

    6. JS

      So we either blame the other person-

    7. LA

      Right

    8. JS

      ... or we blame ourselves.

    9. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JS

      And it's only either/or, and the truth is, it's so much more balanced, where it's like I don't want to blame myself and beat myself up, because that's gonna send me down a ter-

    11. LA

      Yeah, a spiral. [laughs]

    12. JS

      Yeah, a terrible spiral. At the same time, I'm not gonna sit here and just blame everything on the other person-

    13. LA

      Right

    14. JS

      ... because that's not true.

    15. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    16. JS

      And there's accountability on both sides, and so let me look at how can I be better-

    17. LA

      Right

    18. JS

      ... but how can I not beat myself

  8. 14:36 – 16:00

    Turning Pain Into Growth

    1. JS

      up? What is it that you think you learned, or what about you do you think has become better or healed, or what have you worked on-

    2. LA

      Mm-hmm

    3. JS

      ... because of that shift in your life?

    4. LA

      Um, just a balance. You know, understanding balance. I'm such a career-driven, work-driven person that that could just take over my life and that becomes what's, you know, the most important to me outside of my son. There's just never been anything that's more important than Cayenne. And you know this. You just get caught up in the work, and next thing you know, friends or partners or whatever are feeling neglected or, like, "I just feel like you never have time," or you're not making them feel special in their, you know, moments and, and being there for them, 'cause it's like, "You gotta film one more podcast. I gotta go to set. I gotta film one more episode. I gotta go do this really fast, but it'll be quick and I'll come right back," you know? And then you realize when people, friends as well, are feeling, like, neglected in those departments, problems can happen. [laughs]

    5. JS

      Mm.

    6. LA

      Because of that, you start looking for other ways to fulfill that void and that, that need, and that's how things happen. So again, it's not blaming myself, but just being aware of things that happen and, and finding that, that balance, and getting better at that balance. And I need the balance, Jay, for myself. It's not even for a partner.

    7. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    8. LA

      For myself, because I should be okay with having a personal life and a professional life and not feel guilty. I was the person that if I went on a vacation, I felt guilty. Like, "I gotta work. I can't be doing this." Like, "I don't want people to think I'm just

  9. 16:00 – 19:32

    Dealing With Guilt

    1. LA

      having a good time. I should be on set. I should be do-" And, like, really beating myself up. Meanwhile, I work my ass off. I should be able to take a vacation. If I wanna take a month off, I should be able to do that. I've worked, I've been in this industry since I was 16 years old. I should be able to do that. I have enough equity in the game with all I've given it to be able to do that. But I still would feel so guilty over that.

    2. JS

      Mm.

    3. LA

      So that's the balance that-

    4. JS

      Yeah

    5. LA

      ... I'm talking about.

    6. JS

      Yeah, no, I, I'm really glad that you went that step further of, like, it's giving yourself to your friends-

    7. LA

      Right

    8. JS

      ... a potential partner, but also to yourself.

    9. LA

      Yeah.

    10. JS

      What do you think it was for you that blocked you from giving yourself that permission? And the reason I ask that is because I was looking at the studies in the US-

    11. LA

      Mm-hmm

    12. JS

      ... and it was saying how so many people don't take all of their leave-

    13. LA

      Yeah

    14. JS

      ... from work.

    15. LA

      Mm-mm.

    16. JS

      Like, most people are not taking their leave. And there's not even that much leave in the US to take. So when I was in the UK, you get, like, 30 days off a year.

    17. LA

      Wow. [laughs]

    18. JS

      And, like, I think here it's-

    19. LA

      That's awesome

    20. JS

      ... yeah, and here it's not that many. And so when I moved here, and I remember looking at that, and I was thinking, "Wow, and still people aren't taking time off." I think that's something people can relate to, that a lot of people struggle-

    21. LA

      Yeah

    22. JS

      ... to think, "Well, maybe when I come back I'll have so many more emails."

    23. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    24. JS

      "Oh my God, I'm gonna be so behind. Oh my gosh, I won't get promoted this year. Oh my gosh, I might get let go. I'm competing with this person. I may become irrelevant."

    25. LA

      Right.

    26. JS

      "I, I have to stay on top of stuff."

    27. LA

      Right.

    28. JS

      What was it for you that kind of, do you think, stopped you from giving yourself permission to have a balance?

    29. LA

      Definitely a fear. And you and I always talk about fear. A fear of someone's gonna come and take my job, or someone's gonna come and take my place, or I used to take so much pride in being like, you know, even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker. No one can outwork me. And that was, like, my badge of honor. Like, I will outwork everyone. Until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give. And then what? They move on to the next person anyway.

    30. JS

      Anyway, yeah.

  10. 19:32 – 23:10

    Being A Parent During Chaos

    1. LA

      over your child at a certain age where it's like, wow, everything I've taught him or things I've tried to drill in his head, now I'm seeing it actually come to fruition or he's repeating things to me that I'm like, "Oh, he was listening to me when I said that" or he, uh, is following my guidance or advice. You know, he's 16 years old now and he's making a career and a lane for himself in basketball, and, you know, he's doing so well, but I just see how humble he is, how kind he is, how he's all about, you know, giving back to the community and all the things that are so important to me. Now I'm just seeing him take on all of that same stuff, and that makes me so happy. 'Cause I feel like, you know, I did a great job and it's not like I'm done being a parent, but I did a great job thus far of being a parent and never allowing whatever was happening in my life or, or to affect my parenting or affect how I was with, you know, my child. Uh, that's something that makes me happy and something I'm really proud of. 'Cause that's not easy, you know, to deal with day-to-day life and ups and downs and then come home and be, you know, there for your child and, and, and be willing to just listen to their needs and what they have going on. That's not easy.

    2. JS

      Hmm. What's been the biggest thing you think he's taught you?

    3. LA

      Definitely patience. Everyone says, like, you don't experience love till you have a child, and you're like, "Well, what does that really mean? Like, I know what it's like to love someone." But it definitely is a different kinda love. So just unconditional love, patience, and you know, I always say that my son is my best friend. Now, it's interesting because people will say that, and I don't know if you've read about this, Jay. I'm curious to know your take. People will say that your children should not be your best friend, that you should be a parent and your child should not be your best friend. I'm on the other side of it. My son is my best friend and I'm still able to be a parent and have him as my best friend. And best friend, I mean, I spend more time with my son than anyone else. I live with my child.

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. LA

      So he's the person I live... He's my roommate, essentially-

    6. JS

      Yeah

    7. LA

      ... and knows me in every shape and form. The happy days, the sad days, everything, and there's nothing I don't feel like we can talk about on his side or my side. To me, those are all the qualities of a best friend.

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    9. LA

      Do I still parent him and discipline him and th-

    10. JS

      Of course

    11. LA

      ... Of course I do, but there's a lot of ta- I read a lot of talk about that.

    12. JS

      Yeah.

    13. LA

      And sometimes when I write, like, hanging with my best friend it's like, "Ah, your son shouldn't be your best friend. Like, you should just be a parent. That's the problem these days, parents trying to be their kids' friends," and this and that. I come from a different-

    14. JS

      Yeah. I, I mean, I can't... I've- obviously I'm not a parent-

    15. LA

      Right

    16. JS

      ... so I can't answer it from that perspective, but if I think about it with my parents, I would say at this point I'm good friends with my parents.

    17. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    18. JS

      I would say I wish we were best friends growing up.

    19. LA

      Okay.

    20. JS

      And I felt that I was parented, which made me actually not tell them stuff-

    21. LA

      I see, yeah

    22. JS

      ... and, and keep secrets and do my own thing and not really have that open relationship-

    23. LA

      Right

    24. JS

      ... with them, which I wish... I think would've been healthier for me-

    25. LA

      Right

    26. JS

      ... and for them. And now I'm glad that it's evolved to where it has, but I agree. I would have liked to have-

    27. LA

      To have that

    28. JS

      ... been friendlier with my parents when I was younger, because I think I could have avoided a lot of the mistakes I made-

    29. LA

      Mm-hmm

    30. JS

      ... had I had that relationship with them. But b-

  11. 23:10 – 25:17

    The Mistake Parents Make

    1. LA

      just yelling or... It's not effective.

    2. JS

      Yeah.

    3. LA

      At least from what I've seen with other people parenting, you know, and I don't judge anyone's parenting, but yelling, screaming, like, they're not hearing you. So sometimes just having a honest conversation on why you shouldn't have done that or why that was wrong, for me, that gets me further than like, "What the hell are you thinking? Why did you..."

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. LA

      Like, they're, they're blocking you out.

    6. JS

      Yeah.

    7. LA

      They're not hearing you anyway.

    8. JS

      I actually went through something like that the other day. So I bumped into someone and I was talking to their teenager. He was probably, like, maybe, like, 14, 15.

    9. LA

      Okay.

    10. JS

      And his mom was, like, behind me, like, telling him what to ask me, and it was almost like she was making it out like he wouldn't ask good questions.

    11. LA

      Right, like not giving him the opportunity. Mm-hmm.

    12. JS

      Yeah, and the thing is, he was actually asking really smart questions, and I was, like, really engaged, but I could see that she kept distracting him, and he kept being like, "Mom, just, I'm, I'm talking."

    13. LA

      I got it. I got it.

    14. JS

      Yeah.

    15. LA

      Right.

    16. JS

      And, and it was just really interest- And I'd look back and I'd be... And I'd smile and be like, "He's cool. Like, you know, it's all right."

    17. LA

      [laughs] Right.

    18. JS

      And it was just really interesting to me. Like, she didn't trust-

    19. LA

      Mm-hmm

    20. JS

      ... that she'd actually been an amazing parent.

    21. LA

      Right, and taught him well-

    22. JS

      And-

    23. LA

      ... and put him in a situation where he can handle himself.

    24. JS

      Yeah, and he was doing great.

    25. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JS

      And I, and I turned to her, I said to her afterwards, I was like, "I just want you to know, like, you must have raised your son really well because he was so present. He asked me so..." I was so impressed by a 15-year-old asking those kind of questions. Like, I wanted her to know that too because I guess mom guilt and-

    27. LA

      Yeah

    28. JS

      ... reflecting and, like, kind of feeling like it's never good enough must be a big part of what you carry too.

    29. LA

      Yeah, for sure. That's a real thing, you know? Mom guilt and just everything you just said is, is just so real because, again, we get in the habit of beating ourselves up for everything.

    30. JS

      Blaming oursel-

  12. 25:17 – 28:31

    How To Maintain Motivation

    1. JS

      And I w- I want to talk about your career, 'cause last time you came, we kind of did a, a full, like, biography of, like-

    2. LA

      Right

    3. JS

      ... all the jobs and, like, how you started. We talked about your first job-

    4. LA

      Mm-hmm

    5. JS

      ... and how you broke through. What about... You're a driven, ambitious person, still, despite everything you've achieved. What is that drive pursuing today? Like, what does that look like right now?

    6. LA

      I'm always trying to figure out what my next thing is. Um, I'm always working extremely hard. I think I still am close enough to remember what not having felt like to continue to push myself the way I do. I'm not that far removed from remembering what that felt like, and it lives in me, and it's close to me, so I'm like, "I don't like that. I don't wanna go back there." So that's the motivation and drive to continue to push forward, and I enjoy it. Like, I like working. I mean, my mom tells me all the time, like, "You don't think you should just, like, take a break?" And I'm like, "Mom, I like working. Some people like other things. I like working." Some people, you know, rather be at home and do certain things, which is fine. Everyone has a different motivation. I like working. That brings me happiness. That brings me joy. So I push myself in that, in that department. But for me, I'm always trying to see what's next. Right now, you know, I'm, I'm heavy in the acting space, producing space. Really big on my prison reform charity, which takes up a lot of my time, and, you know, giving back in that way is so important to me. So those are kind of where my immediate focuses are right now, but there's always so many things, you know, happening.

    7. JS

      With the acting and production, like, what part of it right now do you feel most immersed and in love with? Because you've done both for a while now.

    8. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JS

      It's like, what's the project that's kind of, like, bringing you alive right now?

    10. LA

      So, you know, just finding projects that I'm interested in. Producing is so amazing because you can now bring something that you love to life, and you can be in control of that IP or whatever it is and bring it to life. So producing just puts you in control. For so long as an actor, you're waiting for someone else to give you an opportunity. You're auditioning with 10 other girls that look very similar to you and just hoping that, "Hey, pick me, pick me. I- I'm the right person for the role." And nine times out of 10, you never, you don't get picked. I mean, you get those lucky times, but for the most part, you don't get, you don't always get picked. So by producing, you're not waiting. Now you're creating, and you're also putting yourself in a position to create jobs and opportunities for other people. And that's what I'm about, opening the doors for other people to come in and, you know, have these experiences and be able to give them, you know, a piece of what I have going on. So that's what I love about producing and just going out there and finding projects that mean something to me. And it's not always about, like, "Oh, I want to produce this 'cause I want it to be this huge success." Of course you want things you do to be a huge success, but sometimes you want to do it for you. Like, this, I'm passionate about this.

    11. JS

      Yeah.

    12. LA

      I want to tell this story. And whoever gets it, gets it. Maybe this is not the billion-dollar hit or whatever. Maybe this is just for a small group of people that are into this, but that matters to me.

    13. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    14. LA

      So it, that's what gets me excited from the producing standpoint. And acting, I'm, I am on a show, so it's great to just have steady work, and I love, you know, the people I work with. I love the show I'm a part of. Um, it's, it's incredible, and it's nice to just always have that kind of

  13. 28:31 – 34:45

    Dealing With Rejection

    1. LA

      in the stash.

    2. JS

      Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You s- you spoke about rejection there. Again, another thing I think people relate to, whether they're auditioning, applying for jobs.

    3. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    4. JS

      Like, it's one of those things that we all face in life in different realms, and I think people often think that when you get to a certain level of success, you don't-

    5. LA

      Not true

    6. JS

      ... get rejection anymore.

    7. LA

      That is not true.

    8. JS

      How does that feel, like, after having ha- You m- I don't know how many auditions you must have done in your life.

    9. LA

      Oh my God, more than I could ever count.

    10. JS

      Right?

    11. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    12. JS

      Like, how many, like, taped auditions, like-

    13. LA

      Oh my God

    14. JS

      ... in person?

    15. LA

      In person.

    16. JS

      Yeah.

    17. LA

      Signing the contract before, thinking that I definitely had the job, just to find out that they're not going with me. I mean, I've had everything happen to me.

    18. JS

      It... Does it get easier? And how do you react to rejection differently today than you did 16 years ago?

    19. LA

      So today I realize that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. There's so many other factors. And now being on the producing side, I see the other factors. Could be anything. Could be height, just could be how you, you stand next to your costar. Could be a billion things that are out of your control. It's not a decision based on you weren't good enough or you weren't talented enough. And once I realized that, I got better with dealing with it and also being happy and grateful for the person who did get the job, 'cause for whatever reason, they were the right person for that job. Not feeling like, "Oh, why'd they give it to them and not me?" Like, actually leading with grace and kindness and realizing that because I started doing that, more good things started happening for me.

    20. JS

      Yeah.

    21. LA

      But in the beginning, it was like, "Oh, they don't like me."

    22. JS

      Mm.

    23. LA

      "Oh, I didn't do a good job. Oh, they think I suck. I, I shouldn't be doing this." Like, I was ready to give up on acting 100 times. I was like, "Clearly this is the one thing that's never gonna happen for me." Like, I had to have one thing that just wasn't gonna go.

    24. JS

      [laughs]

    25. LA

      This is it. But I just kept being persistent, kept learning, kept getting better, and then realizing now a lot of the decisions are not based on talent. There are just so many other factors.

    26. JS

      When my videos were first seen, like seven years ago, around a year later, a TV production company had reached out and said, "We want to make a TV show about your work."

    27. LA

      Right.

    28. JS

      And I was like, "This is so cool. I never imagined in a million years that that would even be possible." And so we, we made the deck, da da da da. We went and, like, pitched it at all these companies. And it was really interesting because no one took the show. I was really passionate about the idea we'd created. I thought it was really cool and different, and no one cared. Like, it didn't even go beyond the first meeting. Like, from the first meeting it was like, "We're not sure." And it's really interesting to me because I was talking about this with a friend a couple of weeks ago, and I was saying that one thing that happened was it built a number of long-term friendships. So everyone I met at those pitches, not everyone, but some of the people have become long-term friends that I actually still see now socially even though we never did anything professionally.

    29. LA

      Together, right.

    30. JS

      So that was a massive win. The other thing was it gave me a great experience of what that process is like. I'd never done it before.

  14. 34:45 – 36:54

    Becoming STRONGER From Failure

    1. LA

      throw people off. I've just gotten so much better at that.

    2. JS

      Yeah.

    3. LA

      I won't give somebody that much power over me. And again, I wanna celebrate the people who are celebrating me. That's what I'm getting better at.

    4. JS

      Yeah. No, I love that you said that. I, I literally, it was a habit that I used to have where you'd see all these good reviews or good comments, and you would literally just scroll past them-

    5. LA

      You're like... [laughs]

    6. JS

      ... just waiting for the negative one, and I've changed so-

    7. LA

      That's so true.

    8. JS

      Literally, right? Like, you're, you're just, you're treating the good ones like-

    9. LA

      You're just like-

    10. JS

      ... "Oh yeah, sure."

    11. LA

      Yeah.

    12. JS

      "Of course."

    13. LA

      Right.

    14. JS

      "I don't- you don't really mean that." And then when someone says something bad, and I've trained myself now, like I genuinely do this, and I talk about it on the podcast a lot, I will sit there and I will read a positive review or I read a comment, a positive comment, and I'll let it sit here.

    15. LA

      It's so important.

    16. JS

      And I'll just let it sit there, and I'll let myself accept it because for so long I just tried to, like, not let myself accept it. And I don't mean let it go to your head. I mean like feel it in your heart.

    17. LA

      Yeah, feel it in your heart.

    18. JS

      Like someone felt like telling you-

    19. LA

      Mm-hmm

    20. JS

      ... that your work or your words or whatever it was, your life or that clip of you on the last podcast, like that, that made a difference in their lives. Let that just, let yourself receive that, and I wish all of us would allow ourselves to receive love as seriously as we receive hate.

    21. LA

      It's so true.

    22. JS

      When you see hate, you don't think that might not be true.

    23. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    24. JS

      You just accept that it must be true, whereas when you see love, you think, "Oh yeah, they didn't really mean that." Oh, it probably isn't that real, right? It's so interesting how we second-guess

    25. LA

      It's such an interesting... And it's interesting because we'll believe the hate is true from someone who doesn't even know us.

    26. JS

      Yeah.

    27. LA

      This is coming from someone who n- never had a conversation with you, who knows nothing about you. So it's like, it's, it's the wrong way to think, but you had to train yourself to think differently.

    28. JS

      Yeah.

    29. LA

      I had to train myself to think differently. For me, a lot of times it's better for me just not to read anything [laughs]

    30. JS

      Totally. Yeah, yeah

  15. 36:54 – 39:14

    How To Stop People Pleasing

    1. JS

      oft- and sometimes when I see criticism, I'll also allow myself, if I'm in a good space, 'cause I agree with you, like, what I'm sharing is when you're in a good space.

    2. LA

      Right.

    3. JS

      If you're really struggling with it-

    4. LA

      Right

    5. JS

      ... just turn it off and get away from it.

    6. LA

      Just... Yeah, exactly.

    7. JS

      I'm fully with you. But if I am in a good place, I'll look at criticism and I'll say, let me take the feedback and leave the criticism. Like, how do I do that?

    8. LA

      Yeah.

    9. JS

      Like, how do I listen to this, allow it in, but then leave the part that, that is kind of the venom in it-

    10. LA

      Right

    11. JS

      ... or the spite or the ferociousness.

    12. LA

      Yeah.

    13. JS

      Like, take that out and take the feedback because there could be something for me to learn and I'm open to that.

    14. LA

      Right, the constructive.

    15. JS

      Yeah.

    16. LA

      The constructive part of it-

    17. JS

      The constructive part. Yeah, that's better

    18. LA

      ... or constructive criticism part of it.

    19. JS

      Yeah.

    20. LA

      I do understand that. I don't think all of us are there yet. [laughs]

    21. JS

      I'm... Neither am I. I'm just, I'm just, I'm trying. I'm trying.

    22. LA

      Yeah, exactly.

    23. JS

      I'm trying.

    24. LA

      We're tr- we're trying.

    25. JS

      Yeah.

    26. LA

      And, and a lot of us, you know, are still struggling with understanding what being loved feels like.

    27. JS

      Mm.

    28. LA

      Or never being loved growing up, you know. I work with so many people through my charity and just people I know who you realize some of the basic principles of just love they've never experienced and don't understand what that is. But they do understand hate, being told you're not good enough, being ignored, not being paid attention to, so they gravitate more to that because that's what they're used to.

    29. JS

      Mm.

    30. LA

      So it's just about changing the narrative, and I talk about that with, you know, the group that I work with through, through my charity 360 all the time, is, like, changing the narrative, changing those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. So those, that's really important.

  16. 39:14 – 41:36

    Accepting Criticism

    1. LA

      Or definitely just never knew what feeling important to somebody was. And when they start feeling that, the change you see in them when I put them in situations, whether it's jobs or things to thrive, like, how amazing they've been doing just because the environment is different. You can love somebody all you want and then put them back in that same toxic, you know, dysfunctional environment, and then, like, well, why are they acting like this? They shouldn't be acting like this. Why are they being a menace to society? I mean, but we wouldn't last one day in a household like that. You know, and just being compassionate. So love and a change in environment are, like, two of the key things that I've seen, where I've seen the most success and the most change, for sure.

    2. JS

      Mm. Yeah. That is, that, that is fascinating. And how do you get, like, I guess the external perception is everyone would be quite hard in prison-

    3. LA

      Right

    4. JS

      ... and be quite cold. How do you have a conversation about love and compassion and empathy with someone who hasn't had it before? Like, how do you even start that conversation? Because I think the perception would be they'd just be like, "I don't need to be loved."

    5. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    6. JS

      Like, there'd be a certain, like-

    7. LA

      Mm-hmm

    8. JS

      ... kind of shield to it.

    9. LA

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JS

      Is, is that real? Is that true? Or do you find it's quite easy to talk to them?

    11. LA

      When, when I first come in, it's not easy.

    12. JS

      Yeah.

    13. LA

      There's like, if it's a new group, it's kind of the stone face.

    14. JS

      That's what I mean, yeah.

    15. LA

      Like, "Yeah, we know La La, but what's she, what's she gonna talk to us about?" But it's really just having real authentic conversations. When you talk to somebody, Jay, you just have that talent to where they know you're speaking from a genuine place. When you talk to me, I'm like, "I gotta listen to what Jay's saying." [laughs] Like, I got, what, what would Jay do in this situation? You just have that. So it's like when you're speaking from your heart and you're leading with love, people feel that. Even the hardest people feel that. Because at everyone's core, what do we want? We wanna be loved. Everyone wants to be loved, whether they've experienced it or not. At everyone's core, they wanna be loved. So I'm gonna hit you in that place that just wants to be loved, and I'm also gonna make you understand that I understand what you've been through. I understand why you may have made some of these choices. And guess what? I'm not judging you, but I'm pushing you to do better.

    16. JS

      Mm.

    17. LA

      And that's how I kind of run my group and what we talk about. And once they hear that and feel that-

    18. JS

      Mm. Mm

    19. LA

      ... it just melts away. They just want a hug. They just want you to tell them you love them. They just want to sit down and have

  17. 41:36 – 44:49

    You Need To Tell People THIS

    1. LA

      some food with you. It just, like, melts away, and it's, it's emotional. It's incredible to see, and I wish that more people could be involved in the work and see this instead of just, you know, writing certain people off because of whatever they've been through. 'Cause one thing I always say is, "Hey, these guys in my program are not going anywhere. So you got two choices. They can either be an asset to our communities, or they can be a problem. Which one do you want? 'Cause they're not going anywhere. So I'd rather mold them and work with them to be assets and great fathers and great community leaders and great workers in our community than be a problem." And sometimes all they really need is to feel supported and to feel loved. That's been my experience-

    2. JS

      Mm

    3. LA

      ... for sure.

    4. JS

      What, what drew you to that work specifically? I mean, you could have started something about anything in the world. Why, what was it deeply inside of you that was like, "This is where I want to put my energy and efforts"?

    5. LA

      I think just, just growing up, that's always been a part of life. Like- Knowing someone who's in jail, seeing different things but feeling helpless like, "Well, what can I do? I can just go visit, write a letter here and there. I'm not in a position to do anything." You would see things that you wanted to change but feel helpless. And now I'm, I'm in a position where I can actually make change. You know, I can actually use my voice and my platform to make a change and help people I care about who are still incarcerated or people who have been incarcerated, you know, help them change their experience and provide them with different things that people before us didn't have.

    6. JS

      Mm.

    7. LA

      So I'm gonna use my platform for that. And also, as a mom of a 16-year-old, a young Black man, I understand, you know, how all of us are one decision or one bad moment away from being any of the kids that I deal with who are incarcerated right now. H- how many of my kids it was just wrong place at the wrong time, hanging with the wrong crowd. We can relate to that. I have a son. Like, he could be at the wrong place at the wrong time, trying to be cool, running with a certain group of kids. Anything can happen, so I'm sympathetic to that, and I think that's where I draw my inspiration from to wanna do the work.

    8. JS

      Did you see the lack of support, like breaking families? Like, did it ... How, how bad did it get? And-

    9. LA

      It got bad.

    10. JS

      Yeah.

    11. LA

      It got bad. I saw it. It, it got bad. I had, you know, one of the closest people to me, his mother was incarcerated for many, many years, and just seeing what it was like for him to grow up without his mom, you know, being there. She was there in every way, but she was incarcerated. She was an amazing ... She is an amazing mother, but she was incarcerated. And just watching what, what that felt like and feeling like there's gotta be a way to still hold the family bonds even with this going on. So just seeing things and like, this doesn't make sense, or this is supposed to be a rehabilitation, but there's no rehabilitation going on. Where are the programs? Where are the things so that people can come out and not do the same mistakes or be better equipped to make better decisions? Like, what are we doing? And now, again, being in a position, I would see all of that-

    12. JS

      Yeah

    13. LA

      ... but again feel helpless. Like, what am I gonna do? I can't do anything. All I could do is go visit on the visiting days, buy some food out the vending machine, and call it a day. Like, what am I gonna do? But now I can do something. So

  18. 44:49 – 50:15

    Prison Reform

    1. LA

      it's just what I've become so passionate about. And when I look at the young men in my program, I always say, "I speak to them and look at them the same way I talk to Kiyan," my son, who's 16 years old, because they're 18. They're two years away from Kiyan and dealing with some of the same struggles and issues that I see Kiyan goes through, you know, insecure, trying to fit in, trying to be the cool kid. You know, all of these things that, you know, sometimes can lead to bad decisions and, and trouble if you don't have strong family and strong support, and they don't have that.

    2. JS

      Yeah. Could you tell us maybe some of the stories that you've seen of people, you know-

    3. LA

      Yeah

    4. JS

      ... coming back into society-

    5. LA

      Yeah

    6. JS

      ... and some of the moments where you're like-

    7. LA

      Yeah

    8. JS

      ... "Wow, this is like..." It's inspiring and hope-giving.

    9. LA

      Yeah. So I did. I had a kid in my program. His name is Rondo. And while he was incarcerated, I brought someone who worked for Reform Alliance, which is founded by Michael Rubin, Meek Mill, Jay-Z. I had Jessica Jackson, who works really close w- with Kim-

    10. JS

      Mm-hmm

    11. LA

      ... um, Kardashian. So they came, and they visited, and Rondo just stood out to them. And I remember Jessica telling him, "When you get out, I'm gonna have a job for you. You really have blew me away, won me over." And they waited and waited for him to come out. When he came out, he came out, like, on a Thursday. I was at the court when they released him. He came out on Thursday. He was in that office on Monday starting his job, working so hard. And now when you see this kid, Jay, it's unbelievable. He's traveled the whole country. He's spoken on platforms with Kim, who's my best friend, obviously, so I'm like her... Kim and Rondo side by side talking about prison reform, him speaking to the, the Gen Z population about, you know, what needs to be done, his experiences. I'm just mind-blown. I found this kid in Rikers Island fighting, you know, dealing with so many different things, and now he's side by side with Kim and Michael Rubin. Not too long ago, I'm like, he's at Michael Rubin's house, like, hosting a panel and d- It's just, it's mind-blowing. And what was it? Opportunity, change of environment, love that made the change. And we have others, you know, that are following in the same path, but it's amazing to see. It's like it makes you just feel like it's all worth it. Like, you just like, everything I'm doing is worth it.

    12. JS

      Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

    13. LA

      Of course.

    14. JS

      I think it's, it's hard sometimes to, you know, connect the dots.

    15. LA

      Mm.

    16. JS

      I was talking to, I think you probably know Scott as well, Scott Budnick.

    17. LA

      Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes.

    18. JS

      I was speaking to Scott. I was-

    19. LA

      Yes

    20. JS

      ... I was with dinner with Scott, like, a couple of weeks ago, and he's-

    21. LA

      He's so passionate

    22. JS

      ... he's so passionate about space.

    23. LA

      So passionate.

    24. JS

      And for those of people who don't know, Scott made the three Hangover movies but then also made Just Mercy.

    25. LA

      Yeah.

    26. JS

      You know, that movie for him was all about prison reform and changing the narrative and trying to give people an opportunity and rethinking, you know, how we feel about people-

    27. LA

      Right

    28. JS

      ... and, and how we, how we treat people who've made certain decisions. And it's so phenomenal to hear that so many people, also all of you, are collaborating-

    29. LA

      Yeah, for sure

    30. JS

      ... in order to do this.

  19. 50:15 – 59:12

    Navigating & Learning Through Challenges

    1. LA

      thing. You don't get married to get divorced. Nobody gets married and says, [laughs] "I'm getting divorced." You get married because you feel like you found your person and this is what the rest of your life is gonna be like, and you start building a life with this person. And then something changes that you weren't prepared for, that you don't have the tools and skills to ... No one's gonna prepare you for a divorce. You're married right now, Jay. Nobody's telling you, "Jay, come sit down. Let me tell you what's gonna happen when you get divorced."

    2. JS

      Totally. Yeah.

    3. LA

      Nobody's, nobody's doing that. We're wishing you and your wife the best to ride off into the sunset forever together.

    4. JS

      Yeah.

    5. LA

      So you're not equipped with the knowledge and the tools on what to do emotionally or anything when that happens, and then you just find yourself in a position to just figure it out. So that's, that's really difficult. And life for me looks different right now, and I still have those moments where I can be at home and I'm like, "You could never tell me that this would be my life right now." And I'm not saying that's a bad thing.

    6. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    7. LA

      I love my life right now, but-

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm

    9. LA

      ... you know, owning a home by, by myself, my son and I, you know, living together. Then on certain days him going to stay with his dad, and then I'm home alone, and it's still a family but separate in a sense.

    10. JS

      Yeah.

    11. LA

      You know? And just, "Okay, well, what time you coming home today?" Like, you coulda never told me that that was gonna be my life, but what can I do? I have to adjust. Like, I have to adjust and be strong and figure out what the new norm is. This is my new normal, and I just had to adjust to it. Was it easy? Of course not. And are there still days where it can hit you and, and, and be really hard? Yeah, and I wanna be honest and tell people that because it's been a while for me, and you would really think that by now, like, that's something I never think about anymore. Of course I do. Had a family, like, a beautiful family, and now I still have a family, but it's just looks a little bit different.

    12. JS

      Yeah.

    13. LA

      And I'm okay with that, but it's still your moments where you're like, "Wow, this is, this is different."

    14. JS

      Yeah, absolutely. And, and I guess it sounds like both of you have been able to be there for Cayenne-

    15. LA

      Mm-hmm

    16. JS

      ... so that he's having, you know, like-

    17. LA

      Yeah, the co-parenting is strong with us.

    18. JS

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    19. LA

      And that's something I'm very grateful for because whatever happened between me and his dad, I don't feel like Cayenne should have to suffer because of that. So we try to do a good job at co-parenting and still, you know, leading with love. And, and kids are gonna be a reflection of what they see. Like, I could tell him all day, "Oh, you know, no, me and your dad..." But if he sees us arguing all the time or never around each other, then it doesn't matter what I say. But we make it a point for him to see us getting along and both being there for his moments, his basketball games, his school plays, you know, parent-teacher conference, whatever it is, so he always feels supported. Because one day Cayenne's gonna have a family, and I want him to understand, you know, what having a family means. And even though mom and dad might not have been able to figure it out in the traditional way-

    20. JS

      Yeah

    21. LA

      ... we still loved you. And my hope is that he can do better than we did.

    22. JS

      And you know what it is? What's really interesting about that is I don't know anyone whose life is actually traditional in the traditional way.

    23. LA

      [laughs] Me either.

    24. JS

      Like, even, even-

    25. LA

      Me either

    26. JS

      ... people who've stayed together forever.

    27. LA

      Me either.

    28. JS

      Like, I, I don't know ... It's so interesting, right? Like, how we have these stereotypes and these views of, like, what a healthy, successful relationship-

    29. LA

      Mm-hmm

    30. JS

      ... looks like between a family, people-

  20. 59:12 – 1:00:46

    Moving On & Finding Love

    1. LA

      have it figured out. And just be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Love yourself. It is so important, and definitely one thing we talked about is, you know, don't blame yourself. You know, we're all doing the best that we can with what we have.

    2. JS

      No, you can hear that in your voice. It, it's not even... Today it's not just about what you've said. It's like you can hear that genuineness and that sincerity in your voice. It's like, I think it's really gonna land with people.

    3. LA

      That makes me happy.

    4. JS

      So I hope everyone listens to this not once but twice.

    5. LA

      Yes, same, twice.

    6. JS

      Uh, and everyone who's listening and watching, make sure that you cut the bit... I know you guys do a great job cutting stuff for TikTok yourself, Instagram.

    7. LA

      Sure.

    8. JS

      Like, cut the stuff that really resonated with you, that connected with you, and share it with someone, because I'm sure you've got friends who are going through breakups. Maybe they're going through a divorce. Maybe they're raising a kid on their own. Maybe, you know, everything that Lala's going through, there are so many things that I know so many of you are connected to in your ecosystems, in your lives, and I hope that you'll clip the bits that stand out to you, that connect to you, and I hope you'll share it with others because sometimes we just need to feel seen, heard, and understood, and I think today a lot of people will feel seen, heard, and understood, so.

    9. LA

      Thank you, Jay.

    10. JS

      Thank you, Lala.

    11. LA

      Love you, appreciate you.

    12. JS

      Love you too. Thank you so much.

    13. LA

      Of course. Thank you.

    14. JS

      And pick up the phone.

    15. LA

      I will. [laughs]

    16. JS

      [laughs]

    17. LA

      I promise.

    18. JS

      You have to.

    19. LA

      I will.

    20. JS

      I mean it. If you loved this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.

    21. LA

      You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, "That is so unfair, 'cause that's not who I am."

    22. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    23. LA

      And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, "But I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?"

Episode duration: 1:00:46

In the uListen app, the transcript lights up word by word as you listen. Get uListen

Transcript of episode 7JpH2nFu4cY

Get more out of YouTube videos.

Read along on your phone, search it beside the video, or ask your favorite AI app what was said.

iOSAndroidClaudeChatGPTChrome