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Lewis HowesDivorce Attorney REVEALS Why 70% of Relationships DON'T LAST | Faith Jenkins
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Faith Jenkins on Healing, Not Settling, and Building Lasting Marriages
- Faith Jenkins says the true measure of a person is how they treat others when things go badly, using an orange-juice analogy to argue that what comes out under pressure reveals what is inside.
- She credits her growth to knowing herself, preparing to be a healthy partner while single, and moving past cynicism and fear of failure, and she says love is a conscious decision rather than just a feeling.
- She describes doing pre-engagement and premarital counseling and discussing healing from the past, real expectations, and life goals, so as to reduce the unknowns before marrying at 42.
- She advises judging potential partners by patterns and actions rather than words, watching small red flags, and noticing how they treat people who can't do anything for them.
- She and Lewis Howes discuss that a wedding doesn't change a person, that marriage takes day-to-day maintenance and a teamwork mindset, and that people should not let outside pressure push them into settling.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasCharacter shows under pressure
Jenkins uses the orange analogy to argue that bitterness or spite during a breakup reveals what is inside a person, and that you can walk away from someone without trying to destroy them.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional
She says she reduced her own distress by separating feelings from facts and practicing radical acceptance that an ending is happening for a reason.
Prepare to be the right partner
Jenkins says you create a healthy relationship by being healthy yourself, including learning to communicate, manage conflict, and set boundaries while single.
Judge people by patterns, not promises
She says that when someone's words and actions don't match, you should ignore the words and look only at behavior, since people lie but their patterns don't.
Commit to the same commitment
She names people not being committed to the same commitment as the main cause of divorce, and says love is a decision because feelings rise and fall.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesYou cannot be a cynic about love and expect to attract it at the same time.
— Faith Jenkins
Weddings will break the bank, but they will not break bad habits.
— Faith Jenkins
You are dating their reality. You wanna marry their potential. Those two things should be aligned.
— Faith Jenkins
That fear wasn't really protecting me. What it was really doing was poisoning my perspective.
— Faith Jenkins
You cannot just pick a spouse. You cannot just pick a partner. That decision is too important for you to take it lightly.
— Faith Jenkins
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SPEAKERS
Faith Jenkins
guestDivorce attorney and TV judge known as “Judge Faith Jenkins,” author of relationship advice book “Sis, Don’t Settle.”
Lewis Howes
hostHost of “The School of Greatness” podcast and interviewer of featured guests.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
