In Order To CHANGE YOUR LIFE, You Need To UNDERSTAND THIS FIRST! | Sarah Jakes Roberts & Lewis Howes

She describes self-worth as a widespread struggle, including among women who appear outwardly successful, because many still can’t “receive the life that they live” or feel worthy with the “broken pieces” they have left.

She says her breaking point came after an incident in her first marriage (including infidelity) led to police involvement and then a Child Protective Services interview that made her confront her fear of being a “good mother,” leaving her feeling she couldn’t keep living without identity, limits, or boundaries.

She explains she wasn’t only reacting to the marriage incident; she was reacting to an identity she tried to “fix” (not being ‘the girl who got pregnant at 13’). She frames the marriage and pregnancy as “fruit,” while the “root” was feeling she didn’t belong and needing someone to confirm her belonging.

She reframes belief as “acceptance” of one’s actual truth—body, past, life—so fear diminishes because you’re no longer afraid of your own truth. She adds that acceptance is also the starting point for change: you open the “box,” decide what stays, and determine what needs to shift.

She says she “let the poison speak” through journaling and blogging, naming her self-talk (“you’re worthless,” “no one will ever want you”), then responding to it as if talking to a friend—eventually replacing it with faith-based truth and a “renewed mind.”