RACHEL HOLLIS: HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND BECOME YOUR BEST SELF

She argues that modeling ambition and selfhood shows children what adulthood looks like, and that many mothers later feel lost when their identity is only “mom.” She encourages reconnecting with who you were before roles like wife/partner and parent.

She describes how a bikini photo showing her stretch marks went viral and became her first proof that honesty—not perfection—creates connection. She frames “raising your hand” about shameful or embarrassing experiences as a way to give others permission to talk about theirs.

She contrasts “cheerleading” with coaching, saying she prefers to challenge women rather than simply affirm them. The book title emerged when she told Jen Hatmaker what she wished she could tell women who asked her “how do I…” questions: stop outsourcing your life to strangers and take responsibility.

She says Girl, Wash Your Face succeeded primarily through word of mouth and community sharing, not a major marketing budget. She also shares she missed the New York Times list in week one, reframed it as practicing what she teaches about failure, and later made the list in week 11.

She explains that people-pleasing created a “double life” that fueled anxiety and even vertigo, and that therapy helped her see the root issue. She ties much of women’s self-worth struggles to being taught that value comes from serving others and being perceived well.