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Lewis HowesThe Science of Communication: How to Connect with Anyone | Vanessa Van Edwards
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Episode Details
EPISODE INFO
- Released
- September 30, 2026
- Duration
- 1h 21m
- Channel
- Lewis Howes
- Watch on YouTube
- ▶ Open ↗
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
🔔 Subscribe for more great content: https://www.youtube.com/lewishowes
• Recommended for you: https://youtu.be/GFOYq-EgCLA The questions you ask on autopilot might be the reason you feel lonely in a room full of people. Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral researcher who has studied master conversationalists for two decades, sat down with Lewis to talk about why so much of our talking leaves us empty. One in six people worldwide are affected by loneliness, and she believes the way we talk to AI is quietly changing the way we talk to each other. In her book Conversation, she lays out three levels of connection, from basic facts all the way up to the private story you tell yourself about yourself. She explains why “Been busy?” is the single worst question in small talk, and why asking for stories beats asking for facts every time. The most honest moment comes when Lewis asks what she still struggles with. Her answer is charging for her own work, a belief she traces back to her early twenties, and you get to hear a level three conversation happen live. You will walk into your next dinner or team call ready to say “tell me more” and actually mean it. Pick one person you love and ask them a better question tonight. You might be surprised how deep your relationships can go. Pre-Order: Conversation: How to Connect with Anyone & Make Every Interaction Count https://amzn.to/4qSDSJ3 Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication https://amzn.to/4x7T7iL Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People https://amzn.to/4xp0ClH Vanessa on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/?hl=en Vanessa on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj9QBB4bNTv29f4oFIreNmw Vanessa's Website http://scienceofpeople.com/ Listen to this episode on the go! 🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-school-of-greatness/id596047499 🟢 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/07GQhOZboEZOE1ysnFLipT?si=a03d916bade54d4f For more info about this episode, go to https://lewishowes.com/1987 💰 get my NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING book "Make Money Easy" today!https://lewishowes.com/moneyyou 📙 get my NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING book "The Greatness Mindset" today! https://lewishowes.com/gmyo 📤 sign up for my FREE newsletter https://lewishowes.com/greatnessdelivered Follow Lewis! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lewishowes/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lewis Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lewishowes/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/LewisHowes 💻 Website: http://lewishowes.com/ 📲 For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960 Get More Greatness! Greatness Clips: https://www.youtube.com/@GreatnessClips Spanish: https://www.youtube.com/@LewisHowesEspañol Portuguese: https://www.youtube.com/@LewisHowesPortugues Lewis Howes Shorts: https://www.youtube.com/@lewishowesshorts 00:00 - Intro 01:15 - AI & Conversational Muscles 06:00 - Brain Chemistry of Conversation 09:42 - Breaking Social Autopilot 13:43 - Level 1: Social Hierarchy 14:52 - The 2 Worst Questions 22:20 - Level 2: Personal Goals 24:05 - Dream Builders vs. Killers 28:08 - Howard Stern's Secret 36:00 - Level 3: Self-Narrative 54:29 - Vulnerability & Boundaries 1:02:06 - The Science of Charisma 1:09:39 - Signaling Confidence 1:15:17 - Master Your Social Skills 1:19:24 - 3 Truths on Connection #greatness #inspiration #motivation
SPEAKERS
Vanessa Van Edwards
guestBehavioral investigator and founder of Science of People; bestselling author of Captivate, Cues, and Conversation.
Lewis Howes
hostInterview podcast host and author who runs the Lewis Howes channel and conducts long-form guest interviews.
EPISODE SUMMARY
In this episode of Lewis Howes, featuring Vanessa Van Edwards and Lewis Howes, The Science of Communication: How to Connect with Anyone | Vanessa Van Edwards explores conversation skills that beat autopilot, deepen connection, and signal charisma Vanessa Van Edwards argues that modern conversation is competing against the dopamine-rich pull of phones and increasingly against AI, which can reshape people’s conversational “muscles” toward being directive rather than connective.
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