The Mel Robbins Podcast

Be Confident: Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence & Income | Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — In this episode, you’re getting a crash course in 13 essential hacks that will help you be more successful, and they’re backed by surprising research out of Princeton. Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of the behavior lab The Science of People, a behavioral investigator, #bodylanguage expert, and bestselling author who specializes in the kind of science-based people skills most of us never hear about. Vanessa’s research proves that anyone can learn these practical skills, earn the trust of others around them, and become more #confident, competent, and reliable. Listen, and you'll learn: - 3 things you must do in the first ten seconds of a Zoom call to appear trustworthy and reliable - How to nail any interview by building unstoppable confidence - Why do you keep getting passed over for a promotion? - The words you need to get the bonus or raise you deserve - Why a second impression is just as important as the first - How a fake smile will ruin your reputation - The simple mistake we all make when asking for what we want - How do you spot a liar? This is an encore episode that is packed with tools, tips, and scripts to boost your chances of #success. With new and exciting insights from me at the top of the episode, you will leave feeling more confident for your next interview, first date, or wherever you are upleveling in your life. You owe it to yourself to learn how to cultivate unstoppable confidence and influence, and you can do that in just a few minutes. Xo, Mel In this episode: 00:00 Intro 05:51 The shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up. 07:40 What exactly IS charisma and what does it look like? 08:32 Why high achievers can’t just rely on their intelligence. 09:45 Two types of awkward people and how to tell. 16:22 Are you highly competent? Look for these three signs. 19:12 What highly competent people are missing. 21:11 What highly warm people are missing. 28:34 A simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you are 33:08 The ONE thing you need to do during the first 10 seconds of your zoom call 37:43 The reason why you keep getting passed over for that promotion 51:58 Why you should never fake a smile 54:38 Three ways you can start building your charisma today. 1:09:46 Why a second impression is as important as the first 1:31:35 Five silent cues to command respect in any situation. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostVanessa Van Edwardsguest

Aug 10, 20231h 42mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Master Charisma Cues: Body Language That Increases Influence and Income

Mel Robbins interviews behavioral investigator and charisma expert Vanessa Van Edwards on the science-backed cues that shape how others perceive your confidence, warmth, and competence.
They explain that charisma is not personality-based or innate; it’s a learnable set of verbal, non-verbal, and vocal signals that make people think, “I can trust you, and I can rely on you.”
Research from Princeton shows that warmth and competence account for roughly 82% of how others judge you across contexts—from Zoom calls and emails to interviews and dates.
The conversation breaks down specific, practical tactics to boost charisma in the first 10 seconds of interactions, avoid “danger zone” cues, and use small body language shifts to increase influence, impact, and even income.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Charisma is learned, not innate—and it’s about signals, not personality.

Highly charismatic people consistently signal high warmth (trust, likability) and high competence (capability, reliability). Anyone can practice these cues regardless of being introverted or extroverted.

Your first 10 seconds on Zoom can make or break perceived credibility.

Show your hands immediately, sit at least 1.5 feet from the camera, and avoid question-like inflection on your name or key statements to deactivate others’ fear response and boost trust and competence.

Uptalk quietly sabotages your authority and income potential.

Ending statements like questions (“I’m looking for $100,000?”) flips listeners into scrutiny mode and makes them doubt you; speaking on the out-breath with a slight downward inflection signals confidence.

Use purposeful gestures and facial congruence to reinforce your message.

Visible, congruent hand gestures (e.g., holding up two fingers when you say “two things”) and real smiles that reach the eyes make you more believable, memorable, and charismatic than fake smiles or stiff posture.

Warmth without boundaries kills respect; competence without warmth kills likability.

Overly warm people become people-pleasers who are liked but not respected, while hyper-competent types seem cold and intimidating; intentionally balancing both cues improves promotions, sales, and relationships.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Charisma is not an innate trait. Anyone can learn it through a very specific set of cues.

— Vanessa Van Edwards

If you under-signal warmth, people don’t believe your competence.

— Vanessa Van Edwards

Your warmth and competence tell the world how they should treat you.

— Vanessa Van Edwards

If you’re highly warm, your desire to be liked can get in the way of your need to be respected.

— Vanessa Van Edwards

Right now, you are unintentionally sending signals and cues to people.

— Mel Robbins

Definition of charisma and its link to warmth and competenceCommon charisma blind spots and ‘awkwardness’ patterns (over-talking vs. shutting down)Non-verbal cues: hands, posture, gestures, facial expressions, and mirroringVocal charisma: tone, inflection, pace, and the dangers of uptalkCharisma in virtual settings: Zoom meetings, camera distance, and first impressionsCharisma in communication: emails, word choice, and warmth/competence languageLie detection, nervous tells, and radical honesty in relationships and work

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