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The Mel Robbins PodcastBe Confident: Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence & Income | Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Master Charisma Cues: Body Language That Increases Influence and Income
- Mel Robbins interviews behavioral investigator and charisma expert Vanessa Van Edwards on the science-backed cues that shape how others perceive your confidence, warmth, and competence.
- They explain that charisma is not personality-based or innate; it’s a learnable set of verbal, non-verbal, and vocal signals that make people think, “I can trust you, and I can rely on you.”
- Research from Princeton shows that warmth and competence account for roughly 82% of how others judge you across contexts—from Zoom calls and emails to interviews and dates.
- The conversation breaks down specific, practical tactics to boost charisma in the first 10 seconds of interactions, avoid “danger zone” cues, and use small body language shifts to increase influence, impact, and even income.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasCharisma is learned, not innate—and it’s about signals, not personality.
Highly charismatic people consistently signal high warmth (trust, likability) and high competence (capability, reliability). Anyone can practice these cues regardless of being introverted or extroverted.
Your first 10 seconds on Zoom can make or break perceived credibility.
Show your hands immediately, sit at least 1.5 feet from the camera, and avoid question-like inflection on your name or key statements to deactivate others’ fear response and boost trust and competence.
Uptalk quietly sabotages your authority and income potential.
Ending statements like questions (“I’m looking for $100,000?”) flips listeners into scrutiny mode and makes them doubt you; speaking on the out-breath with a slight downward inflection signals confidence.
Use purposeful gestures and facial congruence to reinforce your message.
Visible, congruent hand gestures (e.g., holding up two fingers when you say “two things”) and real smiles that reach the eyes make you more believable, memorable, and charismatic than fake smiles or stiff posture.
Warmth without boundaries kills respect; competence without warmth kills likability.
Overly warm people become people-pleasers who are liked but not respected, while hyper-competent types seem cold and intimidating; intentionally balancing both cues improves promotions, sales, and relationships.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesCharisma is not an innate trait. Anyone can learn it through a very specific set of cues.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
If you under-signal warmth, people don’t believe your competence.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
Your warmth and competence tell the world how they should treat you.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
If you’re highly warm, your desire to be liked can get in the way of your need to be respected.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
Right now, you are unintentionally sending signals and cues to people.
— Mel Robbins
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
