The Mel Robbins Podcast

How to Get Confident, Beat Your Insecurities, and Overcome Fear | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to level up? ⬆️🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — In this episode, you’re going to learn about a study from Harvard that has changed my life. It's research about performance, #anxiety, and a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again. This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body, chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage. The #1 fear most people have is #publicspeaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better. Stop letting #fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all. And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here: https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 04:42 I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story. 10:03 The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge. 13:06 One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this. 13:39 This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker. 15:56 The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s. 20:14 I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela. 25:02 Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living? 26:09 Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice. 29:11 How does fear give you access to your more authentic life? 31:52 Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention. 35:27 Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need. 37:42 How do you get over your fear of public speaking? 47:39 Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center. 52:34 When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this. 53:28 Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself. 54:36 You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostMichelle Polerguest

Apr 24, 202359mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Mel Robbins Turns Stage Fright Into Fuel For Confident Expression

Mel Robbins uses a behind-the-scenes look at a 3,000-person keynote to unpack the fear of public speaking and everyday self-expression. She shares her own journey from debilitating stage anxiety to becoming one of the highest-paid female corporate speakers, emphasizing preparation, reframing, and embracing imperfection. Guest speaker Michelle Poler joins to discuss her ‘100 fears in 100 days’ project, showing how deliberately facing fear leads to authenticity and a more fully lived life. Throughout, Mel explains science-backed tools—especially reframing nerves as excitement—to help listeners speak up at work, in relationships, and on any stage.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Preparation is the most reliable antidote to speaking anxiety.

Robbins attributes a major early breakthrough to obsessive practice and even investing half her first fee into slide design; rehearsal builds muscle memory, reduces uncertainty, and gives your brain something solid to lean on when nerves spike.

Reframe nervousness as excitement to unlock better performance.

Drawing on Harvard research, she explains that the body’s stress and excitement responses are physiologically identical; telling yourself “I’m excited” before a talk or hard conversation stabilizes your mind and helps you access what you prepared instead of choking.

Tie every scary speaking moment to a clear personal ‘why.’

Before going on stage, Mel reminds herself she’s speaking to one specific person whose life might change; similarly, advocating for a raise or speaking at a town meeting becomes easier when you anchor it to purpose—fair compensation, community impact, or someone who needs to hear you.

Your imperfections make you more relatable and trustworthy.

Robbins cites the “pratfall effect” and her own wardrobe disaster (see-through dress on a jumbotron) to show that visible flaws and stumbles humanize you; audiences often like you more when you’re real rather than polished and distant.

Fear often disguises itself as intuition and keeps you small.

Michelle Poler realized that the physical ‘don’t do it’ feeling wasn’t always wisdom but ego trying to avoid rejection; she now recognizes that same feeling as a signal of growth and intentionally chooses the path that leads to expansion.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I was alive, but I was not living.

— Michelle Poler

One of the best fricking tools for nerves is preparation.

— Mel Robbins

The idea here is not that you're gonna get it perfect. It's that you're willing to try.

— Mel Robbins

It's not a matter of being liked by everybody. It's a matter of resonating with the right people.

— Michelle Poler

Those aren't butterflies. Those are the wings of possibility.

— Mel Robbins

The fear of public speaking and everyday self‑expressionMel Robbins’ personal journey from terrified speaker to top-paid keynoteThe power of preparation and rehearsal to reduce performance anxietyReframing nerves as excitement using science-backed techniquesMichelle Poler’s ‘100 fears in 100 days’ and living beyond comfortAuthenticity, the pratfall effect, and owning your personal storyPurpose, impact, and ‘trust falling’ into bigger opportunities in life

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