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How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to make 2024 your best year ever? 🌟 https://bit.ly/melrobbins_bestyear 👈 Download my FREE, 29-page workbook designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life 🔥 — In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic. Janine Driver (https://janinedriver.com/) @TheRealJanineDriver has been trained by the FBI, CIA, and one of the world’s top hostage negotiators. News networks call Janine to analyze body language and critical verbal cues that suspects, politicians, and celebrities send so we can tell when somebody is lying. If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country. She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should never shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview. If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date. This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long. Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 03:40 Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen. 11:16 Which three groups of people can read body language really well? 12:30 Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else. 19:45 What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out. 20:12 What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview? 22:35 How men state what they need versus how women do. 32:43 The power of eye contact unpacked. 36:18 Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth. 38:37 Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water. 43:10 What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?” 51:52 Use this hack to look more confident. 55:07 Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set. 1:02:58 Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone. 1:05:27 This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time. 1:06:24 Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy. 1:17:35 The importance of “good to knows” #truecrime #bodylanguage — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostJanine Driverguest
May 11, 20231h 28mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

FBI-Trained Expert Reveals Body Language Secrets For Influence, Truth

  1. Mel Robbins interviews body language expert Janine Driver, who shares how trauma, law-enforcement work, and media experience led her to decode nonverbal cues for the FBI, CIA, and major networks.
  2. Driver explains how body language reveals stress, deception, confidence, and attraction before our conscious thoughts do, and how anyone can learn to read and use these signals.
  3. They cover specific tells of uncertainty and possible lying (like shoulder shrugs, eye blocking, lip disappears, and self-soothing touches), plus high-confidence moves such as steepling, chin grabs, posture shifts, and belly-button orientation.
  4. Beyond lie detection, the episode focuses on empowerment: changing self-talk, planting positive “seeds,” assigning better traits to ourselves and others, and using simple physical cues to increase influence, protect ourselves, and improve relationships.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Shrugs and high-level self-touch often signal hidden uncertainty.

A shoulder, hand, or mouth shrug paired with a firm verbal ‘yes’ usually means there’s a nonverbal ‘maybe’—they’re not necessarily lying, but they’re uncertain or withholding something. Use, “Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like you’re unsure about…” to gently open that hidden file.

Eye blocking and lip disappearance can reveal internal conflict or stress.

Covering or breaking eye contact under stress (“eye blocking”) and making lips vanish or roll inward often indicate the person doesn’t like what they’re seeing or saying. Don’t jump straight to ‘They’re lying’; instead, recognize it as a hotspot and ask curious, non-accusatory follow-ups.

Use steepling and posture to project calm authority without saying a word.

Lightly touching fingertips together (steepling) and lifting your chest so an imaginary laser points where the wall meets the ceiling makes you appear more confident and in control. In meetings where you’re interrupted, leaning back and steepling often prompts others to stop the interrupter for you.

Belly-button direction (“navel intelligence”) reveals real interest and alliance.

We unconsciously aim our belly buttons at people we like, trust, or feel drawn to, and angle them away when we want out. In meetings, dates, or family gatherings, notice where people’s navels point—it tells you who they’re really aligned with or eager to leave for.

Prime for truth and integrity instead of threatening against lying.

Saying, “Whatever you do, don’t lie” actually primes lying; instead use embedded commands and trait assignment: “I’m going to ask a few questions, and whether you tell me the truth or you don’t… tell me the truth, I already know more than you think. Everyone says you’re a very honest person—is that true?” This creates cognitive dissonance if they try to deceive.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

People get what they grow. You grow what you plant.

— Janine Driver

When we don’t like what we see or hear, our lips disappear.

— Janine Driver

Do you want to be right, or do you want to be effective?

— Janine Driver

The bees are not flying around trying to convince the flies that honey tastes better than shit.

— Janine Driver

I believe in comebacks because I’ve experienced them.

— Janine Driver

Janine Driver’s background: childhood trauma, ATF career, and media breakthroughThe “behavioral fingerprint” framework: roots, body language, thoughts, and wordsHigh-stress and deception cues: shrugs, pacifiers, eye blocking, and lip behaviorConfidence and power signals: steepling, chin grab, posture, and belly-button orientationLanguage and priming: statement analysis, embedded commands, and trait assignmentParenting, relationships, and dating: using body language to set boundaries and connectMindset, manifesting, and comebacks: reframing failure and planting positive beliefs

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