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The Mel Robbins PodcastHow to Read Body Language to Get What You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
FBI-Trained Expert Reveals Body Language Secrets For Influence, Truth
- Mel Robbins interviews body language expert Janine Driver, who shares how trauma, law-enforcement work, and media experience led her to decode nonverbal cues for the FBI, CIA, and major networks.
- Driver explains how body language reveals stress, deception, confidence, and attraction before our conscious thoughts do, and how anyone can learn to read and use these signals.
- They cover specific tells of uncertainty and possible lying (like shoulder shrugs, eye blocking, lip disappears, and self-soothing touches), plus high-confidence moves such as steepling, chin grabs, posture shifts, and belly-button orientation.
- Beyond lie detection, the episode focuses on empowerment: changing self-talk, planting positive “seeds,” assigning better traits to ourselves and others, and using simple physical cues to increase influence, protect ourselves, and improve relationships.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasShrugs and high-level self-touch often signal hidden uncertainty.
A shoulder, hand, or mouth shrug paired with a firm verbal ‘yes’ usually means there’s a nonverbal ‘maybe’—they’re not necessarily lying, but they’re uncertain or withholding something. Use, “Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like you’re unsure about…” to gently open that hidden file.
Eye blocking and lip disappearance can reveal internal conflict or stress.
Covering or breaking eye contact under stress (“eye blocking”) and making lips vanish or roll inward often indicate the person doesn’t like what they’re seeing or saying. Don’t jump straight to ‘They’re lying’; instead, recognize it as a hotspot and ask curious, non-accusatory follow-ups.
Use steepling and posture to project calm authority without saying a word.
Lightly touching fingertips together (steepling) and lifting your chest so an imaginary laser points where the wall meets the ceiling makes you appear more confident and in control. In meetings where you’re interrupted, leaning back and steepling often prompts others to stop the interrupter for you.
Belly-button direction (“navel intelligence”) reveals real interest and alliance.
We unconsciously aim our belly buttons at people we like, trust, or feel drawn to, and angle them away when we want out. In meetings, dates, or family gatherings, notice where people’s navels point—it tells you who they’re really aligned with or eager to leave for.
Prime for truth and integrity instead of threatening against lying.
Saying, “Whatever you do, don’t lie” actually primes lying; instead use embedded commands and trait assignment: “I’m going to ask a few questions, and whether you tell me the truth or you don’t… tell me the truth, I already know more than you think. Everyone says you’re a very honest person—is that true?” This creates cognitive dissonance if they try to deceive.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesPeople get what they grow. You grow what you plant.
— Janine Driver
When we don’t like what we see or hear, our lips disappear.
— Janine Driver
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be effective?
— Janine Driver
The bees are not flying around trying to convince the flies that honey tastes better than shit.
— Janine Driver
I believe in comebacks because I’ve experienced them.
— Janine Driver
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
