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The Mel Robbins PodcastPSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS To Boost Your Influence, Income, and Impact TODAY! | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Charisma Science: Simple Cues To Instantly Boost Influence And Income
- Mel Robbins interviews behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards about the science of charisma—defined as the visible balance of warmth (trust/likability) and competence (capability/power).
- They explain that 82% of how others judge you—online and offline—comes from whether you signal warmth and competence through cues in your body language, voice, words, and appearance.
- Charisma is framed as a learnable skill, not a personality trait, and they break down specific research-backed behaviors that increase perceived trustworthiness, influence, and professional respect.
- The conversation covers how to diagnose your current signals, practical tweaks for Zoom, email, dating, and work, and how to avoid “danger zone” cues that make you seem cold, weak, or inauthentic.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasCharisma is a skill, not a personality trait.
Research shows highly charismatic people are simply very good at consistently signaling warmth (trust, likability) and competence (ability, power). You don’t need to be extroverted or naturally confident; you can learn the specific cues that project both.
Warmth and competence drive 82% of how people judge you.
From first impressions to emails and Zoom calls, people rapidly decide “Can I trust you?” and “Can I rely on you?” based on your visible signals of warmth and competence, not your actual intentions or intelligence.
Master the first 10 seconds: hands visible, proper distance, no uptalk.
On video or in-person, show your hands immediately (wave or small gesture), sit about 1.5 feet from the camera, and avoid upward “question” inflection on statements—especially your name, role, or salary expectations—because it signals self-doubt and triggers scrutiny.
Use body and vocal cues to intentionally project warmth or competence.
Warmth cues include real smiles (eyes engaged), slow triple nods, slight head tilt, vocalizations (“mm,” “wow,” “oh”), and gentle eye contact. Competence cues include lower, steady tone, downward inflection on key points, purposeful hand gestures that match your words, and strong, aligned posture toward the other person or camera.
Audit your current charisma and blind spots with feedback and recording.
Take Vanessa’s charisma quiz yourself and have others take it “as you,” then compare results; also record a Zoom call and code your gestures, voice, and facial expressions to see where you under-signal warmth or competence, or use nervous/danger-zone cues.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesCharisma, more than any other attribute, is the single most important aspect of you being successful.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
You can be the warmest, most competent person in the world, but if you don’t show those signals, the world does not believe you.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
Your warmth and competence tell the world how they should treat you.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
If you are too focused on being liked, your need to be liked is getting in the way of your need to be respected.
— Vanessa Van Edwards
You are unintentionally sending signals and cues to people right now.
— Mel Robbins
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
