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Should You Trust Your Gut Instinct? | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley! You can use this perfect hack anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel. What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again. Going with your #gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does. That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut. It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it. So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today. Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 04:04 The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future. 09:38 I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it. 17:56 The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power. 19:22 Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley. 22:27 Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too? 24:25 What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students. 25:34 When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. 28:19 Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. 30:13 You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew. 34:06 We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool. 36:08 Do you have the courage to do this? 43:34 So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES? 1:01:04 Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.” 1:05:11 Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead. 1:06:49 Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision. #trustyourgut #intuition — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostGuestguest
May 8, 20231h 8mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Stop Asking Others: How To Courageously Follow Your Own Gut

  1. Mel Robbins uses her son’s college tour experience—and her own overbearing behavior at her Dartmouth alma mater—to explore why we ignore our inner knowing when making big life choices. Through conversations with her son Oakley and team members Amy and Jessie, she contrasts the physical sensations of a clear “yes” and “no” with the noise of other people’s opinions and our own fearful self-talk. Drawing on neuroscience, she explains that decisions originate in the body, with the brain merely interpreting those signals, and argues that the real issue isn’t trusting your instincts but finding the courage to act on them. The episode offers a powerful metaphor of “separate tours” to help listeners mentally step away from external pressures and walk with their future self instead.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Stop saying “trust your gut” and start saying “find courage to follow it.”

Robbins argues your instincts are usually accurate; the real barrier is the fear of disappointing people, breaking norms, or stepping into the unknown, which requires courage rather than more analysis.

Use your body as a decision compass: expansion means yes, contraction means no.

A true yes feels open, energizing, and full of possibility; a no feels closed, drained, out of place, and often shows up as tension or dread in the body before the mind rationalizes it.

Mentally “separate tours” to reduce other people’s influence on your choices.

Visualize the people whose opinions you normally seek—parents, partners, friends—on a different tour, so you can walk through a decision alone with your own reactions and your future self guiding you.

Notice how quickly your gut speaks—and don’t talk yourself out of it.

Oakley’s college visits showed that strong nos can appear within minutes and strong yeses feel obvious; with practice, you can get faster and more precise at recognizing and honoring those signals.

Be wary of decisions driven by fear of being left behind or judged.

Robbins’ law school story and Amy’s mastermind experience illustrate how staying with the “pack” or internalized voices can trap you in years of misaligned work, even when your body is loudly protesting.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

We lose our power the moment we turn around and ask, “What do you think?”

— Mel Robbins

A yes is super open. You feel lots of possibilities. You feel like you’re in the right place.

— Oakley (Mel’s son)

I don’t want to talk about trusting your instincts. I want to talk about the fear you have in following them.

— Mel Robbins

If she wants to do it, why wouldn’t you let her try it?

— Richellie Wright (quoted by Amy)

You have to be your own tour guide in life.

— Mel Robbins

The difficulty of making decisions that are right for youHow other people’s opinions and expectations distort your choicesRecognizing the bodily sensations of a gut “yes” versus a gut “no”The “two tours” metaphor: separating yourself from others’ influenceStories of courageous pivots in career and educationThe role of emotion and somatic signals in decision-making scienceBuilding the courage to disappoint others and change direction

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