Dr. Shadé ZahraiHow Cognitive Distortions Keep you STUCK – 4 Way to Stop Negative Thinking | Shadé Zahrai
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:30
How cognitive distortions “trick” you and why they’re harmful
Dr. Shadé Zahrai introduces cognitive distortions as irrational, negative thought patterns that skew reality. She explains how they can erode motivation and self-esteem and contribute to anxiety and depression.
- •Cognitive distortions are inaccurate perceptions of reality
- •They diminish motivation and damage self-esteem
- •They can contribute to anxiety and depression
- •Goal of the episode: identify common distortions and learn practices to avoid them
- 0:30 – 0:45
Overgeneralization: turning one event into a life rule
The first distortion is overgeneralization—drawing sweeping conclusions from limited evidence. A single setback is interpreted as proof of a permanent pattern.
- •Forms a broad conclusion from a singular event
- •Creates false patterns based on minimal data
- •Example: one job rejection becomes “I’ll never get a job”
- •Leads to helplessness and reduced persistence
- 0:45 – 1:00
Mental filter: noticing only the negative
She explains the mental filter, where people selectively attend to what went wrong while ignoring what went right. This is linked to pessimism bias and creates an unbalanced view of performance.
- •Focuses attention on negatives while discounting positives
- •A form of pessimism bias
- •Example: “Everything failed this week” despite real wins
- •Reinforces low mood and discouragement
- 1:00 – 1:32
Catastrophizing: blowing consequences out of proportion
Catastrophizing magnifies the importance of problems and jumps quickly to worst-case outcomes. This can also show up as spiraling “what-if” chains about future disasters.
- •Exaggerates the meaning and impact of events
- •Assumes a small issue will lead to severe consequences
- •Example: a typo leading to losing credibility and getting fired
- •Fixates on “what if” scenarios that fuel anxiety
- 1:32 – 1:47
Personalization: taking blame for outcomes you didn’t cause
Personalization occurs when you assume you’re responsible for negative outcomes that aren’t actually your fault. It can also appear as interpreting others’ actions as direct judgments of you.
- •Misplaces responsibility for negative outcomes onto yourself
- •Creates unnecessary guilt and shame
- •Example: blaming yourself for a deal not closing despite no involvement
- •Assumes others’ actions mean “they hate me”
- 1:47 – 2:02
Labeling: defining yourself by a mistake
Labeling is an extreme form of overgeneralization where you attach a global negative identity to yourself based on one error. Instead of describing the event, you condemn your character.
- •Turns a behavior into a fixed identity label
- •Example: “I made an error” becomes “I’m a failure”
- •Encourages shame and rigid self-concepts
- •Makes it easier for distortions to become entrenched
- 2:02 – 2:32
Why distortions keep you stuck: mood, decisions, and identity
She explains how distortions lead to feeling bad and making choices that aren’t in your best interest. Over time, these thoughts can become habitual and feel like “who you are,” breeding helplessness.
- •Distortions worsen emotions and decision-making
- •Patterns can become deeply entrenched
- •People may accept distortions as identity
- •This can lead to feeling powerless to change
- 2:32 – 2:47
Practice 1 — Step back and observe (metacognition)
The first tool is metacognition: thinking about your thinking. She recommends zooming out, writing thoughts down, and objectively testing whether they’re factual or if other interpretations exist.
- •Use a bird’s-eye view of your thoughts
- •Write down what you’re telling yourself
- •Check accuracy and factual basis
- •Consider alternative interpretations
- 2:47 – 3:02
Practice 2 — Replace absolutes with realistic language
Distorted thinking often uses absolute terms like ‘always,’ ‘never,’ and ‘nothing.’ She advises rephrasing with more accurate, flexible language such as ‘sometimes’ or ‘on occasion.’
- •Absolutist words intensify distortions
- •Swap ‘always/never/nothing’ for ‘sometimes/on occasion’
- •Creates nuance and reduces emotional intensity
- •Helps align thinking with reality
- 3:02 – 3:33
Practice 3 — Move from labels to facts
She recommends describing concrete behaviors and outcomes rather than assigning identity labels. This trains the mind to stick to evidence instead of flawed conclusions about self-worth.
- •Replace identity judgments with factual statements
- •Example: “I didn’t go to the gym today” vs “I’m lazy”
- •Example: “I didn’t get the job” vs “I’m unemployable”
- •Builds a fact-focused habit that weakens distortions
- 3:33 – 4:03
Practice 4 — Keep a record of ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)
Her final practice is logging ANTs in a notebook to identify patterns and challenge them. The method includes tracking triggers, distortions, evidence for and against, and exploring best-case and realistic scenarios.
- •Record the thought, trigger, and resulting feelings
- •Identify which cognitive distortions are involved
- •List evidence for and evidence against the thought
- •Compare worst case with best case and most realistic scenario
- •Estimate likelihoods to reframe more accurately
- 4:03 – 4:49
Building the reframing habit + closing call to action
She explains that consistent tracking helps you spot trends and reframe distortions more easily over time. She closes by encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and follow for more content.
- •Patterns become easier to recognize with repetition
- •Reframing becomes more natural over time
- •Recap: distortions cloud thinking; practices prevent the trap
- •Outro: like, subscribe, notifications, and sign-off
